Psalm 91:4

Psalm 91:4  "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;  his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." (NIV)


Lying in my bed, curled in the fetal position, crying desperately, I felt like a small helpless child that had been beaten and abused. Laughed at and tormented, standing naked in front of a crowd. My heart ached. My body was exhausted.  My soul was drained.

"I can't make it another day God.  I can't do it.  It's just too hard." Those were the only words I could muster.  It was all I had left. My head was too heavy to lift off the pillow. My eyes burned too badly to open. My arms were too numb to lift to wipe my tears.

The softest most compassionate voice I had ever heard spoke to me.  He said "I will lift your head, I will open your eyes,  I will wipe your tears.  I am your Father I have never left you.  It's time to come back to me.  Come, child...I've missed you."

I couldn't run fast enough.  I couldn't get to Him quick enough.  Oh God I need you.  I want to go to my Father.  I want to hide beneath His wings.  Be my shield God, save me.  Save me from this torment.  Save me from this world.  I threw myself at His feet.  He gently lifted me up out of my pile of ashes and dusted me off.  I felt protected. I felt peace.  Real peace, not worldly peace, but God’s  peace. I was in my Father's strong, protective arms.  I was safe.  I didn't have to cry anymore. I wanted to stay there forever. God knew my heart.  He knew what I wanted.  He said "this is where you belong, right here in my arms, you never have to leave again."  It felt good to belong.