A man who blames others for his problems comes to the ranch for rest and rehabilitation. |
100 GPs for correction suggestions will be added to automatic reward of 100 for a review. “Sir, Mr. Forrest is here.” My secretary announced the arrival of the latest client at San Salvador Dude Ranch and Retreat Center. “Thank you, Phyllis,” I replied. I closed the file of a potential client and opened another. Following the latest of three unproven accusations of falsifying company records to cover up a costly mistake, David Forrest had been sent to us for rest and counseling. He denied the charge, of course. The company president valued his services but only with an improved sense of responsibility. He hoped for more of our success with other companies’ employees. I closed the file and went out to meet him. “Hello,” I said, shaking his hand. “I am John O’Malley, administrator of the Salvation Ranch.” David gave me his name and hand and looked around. “This is quite a place you have here. And so far out into the desert.” “Yes, it is nice, isn’t it?” I looked around again at the “desert wasteland” I had grown used to over the years. Except for sparse vegetation, it lay flat to the horizon where mountains grew out of the haze on three sides. To the South, the mesquite trees, yuccas, and sagebrush continued over the horizon beyond the border of Mexico. Only the discovery of water near the surface of the ground at our feet allowed for the installation of irrigation. This, in turn, led to the flourishing of pastures, hay fields, and gardens for the horses and other animals as well as our own foodstuffs. I ushered our guest into my office where I reviewed for him our rules. 1. You are here for rest. - For at least twenty-four hours, you will be expected to forego all activity. - Tomorrow, you will be allowed some quiet pastimes: reading, puzzle books, talking with people, watching or helping with the animals. - After at least forty-eight hours, you will be allowed more strenuous activities: tennis, horseback riding. 2. You are here to get away from the distractions of the outside world. - Your watch, clocks, and electronic devices will be locked away for you. - The television will be kept off for at least seventy-two hours. - All computer systems will be off limits to your use. I looked at him. “Now, I realize all of this, even our great distance from anything out here, may make you feel like a prisoner. You are not. You may request to be returned to the airport at any time. However, that violates your agreement with your employer and will bring about the agreed-upon consequences. “It would help you more if you look at this as a vacation, a chance to rest, to replenish your internal resources, to make necessary changes.” David nodded his understanding. “So, for today, all I’m allowed to do is sleep?” “You will be expected to rest – to lie or sit still and do nothing. If you sleep, all well and good. Supper is served starting at 5:00 but if you’re asleep, you will not be disturbed. Come eat whenever you’re hungry then return to your rest.” “OK, then,” he stood to leave, “I’ll just get my luggage and take it to my room.” “By now, it should already be in your room and unpacked. Any electronic devices will be put into safe storage until you leave the ranch. All there is for you to do is rest.” At that, he nodded and left. David was at the table already when I went down for breakfast the next morning. He was obviously slept out, if not well rested. I waved a greeting and got fruit for myself, oatmeal for Father Paul, and eggs for Andy. I sat down across from our guest and said a private grace. When I looked up, David asked, “You gonna eat all that?” I glanced at my meal tray, “Oh, no. Father Paul and Andy will be along later. We agreed in the interest of efficiency to let me get everyone’s desired breakfast and they would eat when they came along.” David grunted and changed the subject. “Could we talk?” “If you mean, ‘Can we chat?’, certainly. If you want to talk about why you’re here, I’d rather wait until after breakfast.” He nodded and asked how the ranch started. I explained how San Salvador Dude Ranch and Retreat Center grew from the joint vision of Father Paul O’Malley from the Southeast Arizona Diocese, Brother Andrew O’Malley from the San Pedro Valley Christian Assembly, and myself. I had been the CEO of a successful nursing home when the vision came for a retreat center for tired and troubled corporate employees. With the prayer support of our sister, Samantha, and the help of volunteers from both churches, we began to build. A barn and corral for horses, a flock of goats, and a garden grew up around the hacienda. In time, a small community coalesced among the ranch employees. Some attended Catholic services provided by Father Paul. Others worshiped with Andrew at the San Pedro Assembly. All of them caught the vision for serving those who came to us for rest and rehabilitation. David was at the table already when I went down for breakfast the next morning. He was obviously slept out, if not well rested. I waved a greeting and got fruit for myself, oatmeal for Father Paul, and eggs for Andy. I sat down across from our guest and said a private grace. When I looked up, David asked, “You gonna eat all that?” I glanced at my meal tray and replied, “Oh, no. Father Paul and Andy will be along later. We agreed in the interest of efficiency to let me get everyone’s desired breakfast and they would eat when they came along.” David grunted and changed the subject. “Could we talk?” “If you mean, ‘Can we chat?’, certainly. If you want to talk about why you’re here, I’d rather wait until after breakfast.” He nodded and asked how the ranch got started. I explained the history of our vision and how we all grew into a serving community. After I finished eating, Father Paul came and ate his portion, followed by Andy. Each of them shared about his part in the ministry. Then I took David to my office. “So, tell me. What’s on your mind?” He sighed, probably in frustration. “You realize, I hope, that I’m not to blame for what happened with the Andersen project.” I studied him for a moment. I spoke carefully, “The information I have from your employer is that you were accused of screwing up a project but denied the charge. Without any real evidence or knowing what you did do, I can make no judgment. “As I said yesterday, you were sent here to rest. What God does in you after that is between you and Him. I would suggest you open yourself to His love and forgiveness. He will show you Truth and start whatever changes need to be made in you. ‘You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.’” “But I’m telling you the truth. It was George…” I raised a hand to cut him off. “Please, don’t go accusing other people of things. One principle behind our existence here is that each of us speaks of his or her own faults but not about the faults of others.” “But I’m not at fault!” he protested. I replied, “Then you have nothing to say about the situation.” I looked intently at him. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” “If I can’t say anything nice, I shouldn’t say anything at all.” “Well…I would say ‘Be kind’ rather than ‘Be nice’.” He nodded his understanding. “Good. Now, why don’t you go walking around the barn and corral and enjoy the animals. I think you’re rested enough, we can let you play tennis with someone this afternoon. We can talk again tomorrow if you wish.” He nodded again and departed. That afternoon, he played tennis with Maria. (This young woman made herself available to help our guests in any way she could.) The game ended abruptly when a savage serve caught her in the eye. David helped her to the ranch’s medical office where Doctor Wallace examined her. I heard about the accident and went to investigate. Doc had already given Maria something for the pain and applied his usual folk remedies to prevent swelling and bruising. Father Paul took her hand and said a short prayer for her full recovery. The young woman smiled as she lay on the examining table. I sat down beside her and asked what happened. She frowned. “That man plays a mean game of tennis. I can usually handle anything someone throws at me but that last serve was right at my head. I didn’t duck in time.” “Are you saying he deliberately aimed a serve right at you?” She waved her hand in dismissal. “That’s a common ruse to throw off an opponent’s game. I was contemplating the trick myself.” I nodded and went to talk with Mr. Forrest. I found him in his room just dressed from taking a shower. He invited me in and went to put away the brush he’d been using on his hair. “What’s up?” He took in my grave face. “I just came from talking with Maria. Do you want to tell me what happened? He shrugged, looking unperturbed. “She didn’t tell you?” “She told me from her perspective. I’d like to hear your side of it.” He shrugged again. “I made a fast serve to her during our tennis match. She didn’t return it or move away in time and it hit her. I helped her to the doctor’s office and took care of the equipment. Then I returned here to take a shower.” “So, it’s her fault for not getting out of the way?” “Yes. I served a fast ball at her to unsettle her. At our level of skill that’s considered fair play. She would either knock it away or get hit. I’m sorry it got her in the eye.” I eyed him narrowly. Andy, always the cowboy, said he wanted to knock some sense into him. Father Paul, of course, counseled patience. I decided it was early in the course of David’s rehabilitation. Patience was important at this stage. “OK,” I replied, “that’s the same thing she said. I’m angry that a valued employee and friend got hurt but I won’t blame you for it.” He looked flustered and turned away. “Thank you,” he muttered. I replied, “You’re welcome,” and left. The next day, David went riding with Andy and Maria. They passed the prairie dog town with its inhabitants poking their heads out of their mounds to watch the riders. They admired the thickness of the saguaro cactus ‘forest’. On their return, the others rode side by side behind Andy, chatting amiably. Suddenly, David galloped past, barely hanging onto his mount. The horse veered into the dog town, stepped into a hole, and collapsed. David’s leg snapped under its weight. Andy and Maria left their mounts at the edge of the mound field and ran to the fallen bodies. They moved to restrain the screaming beast to stop its thrashing. Seeing its leg bent at a horrible angle, Andy drew the six-shooter he always wore when riding and squeezed the trigger. He and the young woman then pulled David from underneath. First-aid triage showed only a broken leg and scrapes on the skin from being ground into the hard earth. Andy pulled out his emergency cell phone and called the Tucson Air Rescue Service. He arranged to meet one of their choppers at the hacienda. Then he sent Maria back to get splints. By the time they led David in on Andy’s horse, walking on either side of him, the rescue helicopter was on the ground. The paramedics secured David to a stretcher, checked out his status and reported to their base, and asked who was to ride with him. Andy looked at Maria who shook her head and looked away. Glancing about at the inevitable by-standers, he spotted Dr. Wallace. “Doc,” he waved the physician over, “would ya go with our guest, please?” Doc agreed and hopped into the aircraft which took off for the city. Andy and his young companion worked quietly at stabling the two remaining horses. When they were finished, he gently grasped her arms. “Are ya all right?” She burst into tears and a stream of emphatic Spanish. She wrenched her arms loose and waved them furiously. Once she wound down, Andy was able to wrap her comfortingly in his arms. “Hey,” he spoke soothingly, “we’ll get through this. David hasn’ died. Ya’ll ‘ave survived. God’ll redeem it as He allas does. Why don’cha go clean up an’ cry it out, then ya’ll can talk ta John ‘bout what happened. OK?” Maria gave him a small smile between her tear tracks, kissed his cheek, and pushed herself away. In my office, she sat and related her story. “Mr. Forrest and I were riding together on the trail, talking about life here on the ranch. When he put his hand on my leg and asked if I ever went riding in the moonlight, I was so shocked I slashed at him with my reins. I guess his horse got hit because she spooked and took off through the dog town. The next thing I know he’s pinned under her and they both have broken legs.” Maria wiped at the fresh tears on her face. “Poor Maggie. She was such a gentle animal.” I nodded sympathetically. “And Andy had to shoot her.” She nodded miserably. “I’m sorry I overreacted. If I had ignored his remark, this wouldn’t have happened.” “OK. I want you to take the remainder of the day off and rest. I’ll have a talk with Mr. Forrest and hear what he has to say.” At the hospital in Tucson, I found David out of surgery and in a semi-private room. His right leg was thickly plastered and there were gauze pads taped to his right arm and side. Dr. Wallace sat in a nearby chair, reading a medical journal. I greeted Doc and went to David’s side. “How are you doing, Mr. Forrest?” He looked at me with eyes full of wariness and of pain reduced by drugs. “I’ll live, I guess.” “You don’t look like you’re quite able to talk about what happened. So I’ll let this visit be a check on your condition.” “OK. They said I’ll stay overnight for observation and can leave tomorrow.” “Then I’ll send the car for you and we can talk when you return.” With that, I shook his hand and beckoned for Doc. Late that evening, Maria came to the Family’s apartment. Standing inside the doorway, she looked at Samantha, who was reading a children’s Bible. “Hi, Sammie. Um…could I speak to Andy?” The little girl shrugged. “Sure, Maria.” She stood and went back to the bedrooms. In a few minutes, Andy came out, dressed in work pants and a tee shirt. “Hi, Maria, honey. Wass’up?” “I just wanted to thank you for comforting me in the stable after the ride.” She stopped and looked at him with uncertainty. “Aw, ya din’t hafta come here jus’ fer that,” the cowboy replied, looking abashed. The young woman colored slightly. “I didn’t.” she stepped toward him. “It felt so good, I decided I wanted to repeat the experience.” With that, she clasped him around the waist and laid her head on his chest. Amazed, he returned the hug around her shoulders. Then she astonished him further by pulling his head down into a passionate kiss. Taken by surprise, Andy clasped her tightly and returned her kiss. Then he thrust her roughly away. “Don’ do that!” He backed off, panting, and wiped his mouth. “Ya don’ know what thet does ta me!” with that, he fled to the bedrooms. In a couple minutes, Father Paul came out, fastening up a shirt. By that time, however, Maria had disappeared. The next day I sought out David where he sat in a borrowed wheelchair, reading a book. I asked, “How are you feeling?” “I’m managing,” he replied, “with the pain meds they gave me.” “Well, that’s good. Could we talk now?” He reluctantly nodded and closed the book. In my office, I helped him get as comfortable as possible and took my seat. Folding my hands, I leaned my arms on the desk and said, “So, what happened yesterday?” He frowned. “Andy, Maria, and I were riding out to the prairie dog town and cactus forest. On the way back, your employee suddenly slapped my horse with her reins and the horse bolted through the dog town. Next thing I know, I’m on the ground with a broken leg and the horse is thrashing and screaming on top of me.” “Why do you think Maria whipped your horse?” “Listen,” he retorted, “it doesn’t matter why she did it. She made the horse bolt and nearly got me killed. I’m fortunate I have only a broken leg and abrasions on my side.” I nodded. “Yes, you are. And I sympathize with your pain. However, Maria has told me more than you have. I want more details from you.” David glared at me. “I suppose you’ll take her side of this whole thing.” I clenched my fists. I didn’t like my judgment questioned, especially not by someone who had come for rest and rehabilitation. “My first concern here is to get to the truth. Once that’s revealed, we can deal with the faults exposed – whether they’re in the client, the employee, or in the service given by the ranch. “Now, Maria tells me you said something to which she reacted. Did you make a pass at her or say something suggestive?” “He-ey! It wasn’t like that at all! I asked her a question in fun and she struck at me. Her reins hit my horse which just took off with me hanging on. Now I’m the one with the broken leg.” I calmly looked at him. After a moment, I replied, “Why is it you never accept the blame for anything? Even though you clearly started the whole incident, you keep blaming Maria. Why don’t you, for once, take the blame for something going wrong?” He held his hands out protectively in front of himself. “Oh, no. Whenever I had to do that as a child, I was always forced to say what a bad child I was and got thrashed for it.” I made a sympathetic face. “So, what you’re saying is that when you got caught in some small childishness, you were forced to admit it and were treated harshly for it.” “Yes! I swore I’d never take the blame again.” I closed my eyes and shook my head in sorrow for a little boy so badly treated. After a moment, I spoke softly, “I’m really sorry you went through such harsh treatment as a child. I can understand why you’re afraid to admit responsibility. “I just want you to know that around here – in fact, in most places – people aren’t punished for their mistakes – or even their deliberate transgressions. There may be consequences and we ask people to take responsibility for what they’ve done. However, we don’t treat them badly. Maria says she overreacted to whatever you said. I haven’t fired her or docked her pay for the cost of the horse. Neither will I charge you for loss of valuable property. “I do want to help you with why you were sent here in the first place. Will you work with us on that? If you wish, you may talk to Father Paul or to Andy about what I said. They can show you how to receive forgiveness for everything you ever did.” David nodded. “I’ll do that.” When he left, I went to the Family’s private rooms. I needed to talk to Samantha and get her praying for our guest. Later that evening, the Family gathered to talk about Andy and Maria. I opened the discussion. “OK. We all know what happened. Andy, is there anything you wish to say?” The cowboy sighed. “I’m sorry. She took me by surprise and brought out the old desire for a woman. I’ve fought to keep it suppressed but…I’m sorry.” I wasn’t feeling very sympathetic. In fact, I was feeling jealous. “Paul?” “I talked with Maria, as you know. She confessed to me that when Andy comforted her after the incident, she felt so protected and loved that she lost her head. She wanted more of the same and came looking for it. I helped her see the lust on her part and her role as a temptation to John. With his permission, I shared something of his past with women. She was sorry for her actions and offered her apology to Andy.” I asked, “So, what are we to do about this?” Paul replied, “I would suggest that Andy maintain a professional distance from Maria for a few days. That will not only be an undesired consequence for her, it will help him restore his own equilibrium.” The cowboy agreed. “Maria’s a a young, pretty woman an’ I cou’d eas’ly be tempted by’er. I’d gladly keep'n emotional distance f’om her.” I breathed more easily. Not only did I not want personal conflicts between these two people who worked so closely together, I didn’t want Andy involved with the woman I wanted myself. Samantha had been quietly drawing in a big pad. Suddenly, she looked up and went to stand at the side of Dragonslayer’s chair. After a few moments, the little girl walked to stand before Andy. On the way, she passed and looked side-long at me. I had a sense she knew my feelings. She took the cowboy’s hands. “My brother, the Lord says He is pleased with your restraint toward Maria. He knows the desire of your heart to be married and it will be met.” Samantha came to stand before me. “The Lord also says your desire for marriage will be satisfied. For now, though, you must hide your desire and let God make it happen.” I sighed with relief and confusion. How could Dragonslayer meet both our desires for marriage? Then I remembered Proverbs 3:4? “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.” As Samantha returned to her drawing, I clapped my hands together once. “OK. Then we’re agreed that Andy will continue to work with Maria but for a week maintain a personal distance?” The others nodded their heads. Late that night, I was awakened by the night watchman. “Sir, Mr. Forrest is in distress. He’s asking for Father Paul.” “Is he in pain? Did you suggest a pain pill?” “I did. He said that was only part of the problem.” “OK. Thank you, James. I’ll send Father Paul out.” The priest dressed and went to David’s room. He was sitting up in his bed, looking haggard, as though he was in pain and unable to sleep. Father Paul asked, “How may I help you, my son?” “I can’t sleep, Father. I lie here thinking about all the stupid things I’ve done at my job and in my life. I was taught as a child that admitting mistakes brought on harsh punishment. But a voice in my head keeps saying, ‘Let it out. Confession is good for the soul.’” The priest nodded. “That voice speaks truth. There’s a passage in the Bible that says, Is any one among you suffering? Let him pray. Is any cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is any among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects. “Well, I don’t know about being sick, but I am suffering with this broken leg. And I guess I need to confess some things.” David looked hopefully at the priest. “You say I will receive forgiveness instead of punishment?” “The Bible says it. In fact, it says if you don’t confess and accept forgiveness, you will be punished. ‘But all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved.’” The young man hung his head. “It’s hard to believe after what I’ve been through. I was forced as a child to admit I was a bad boy. Then I was punished. Now, I see that I am not a good person and I’m afraid.” The older man nodded his agreement. “Admitting the truth about oneself is painful but only the truth can free you to become a better person. Reach out to know the One who is Truth and you will find that love overcomes the pain of knowing about yourself.” The young man nodded and looked up at the priest. “Father, I’m not Catholic, so I don’t know your rituals. But will you hear my confession?” “My son,” the priest replied, “the rituals are important only in helping us reach out to God. I will guide you through what you need to say and do.” David clasped his hands together. “Let’s do it.” Father Paul briefly contemplated going after his vestments then decided that would hinder more than help. He thought through the ritual a moment. “Alright. You’ve never been to confession, so we can dispense with the question of how long it has been. Tell me what you wish to confess.” David Forrest proceeded to release a torrent of misdeeds. He had a lifetime of avoiding responsibility to talk about. By the time his outpouring dwindled, his eyes were red with tears. He slumped back on the bed. “Father,” he said softly, “I am such an evil person. I deserve to be damned.” “Are you saying that because you think you’re supposed to or because you can see how evil you are?” David placed his hands over his face. “I can see how evil I am.” “Good. Apart from God’s help, we are all evil and full of sin. However, if you will accept God’s forgiveness, He will come into your life and cleanse away your sin. Are you ready to ask for that?” “Oh, yes! Lord God, please forgive me for all the evil I have done! I beg for Your cleansing.” “My son, I speak for God and tell you that all your sins are forgiven. All your evil and guilt are cleansed away. You will still be tempted to do evil but as long as you cling to God, He will help you to overcome it.” David looked up at Father Paul with joy in his face. “Father, I do feel clean! If only I had known, I would have done this much earlier.” The priest beamed at him. “From this moment on, you have a new life to live. The old is gone; the new has come.” The younger man turned pensive and glanced warily at his elder. “What do I have to do for penance?” Father Paul looked at him solemnly. “Really, there is nothing you can do to pay for what you’ve done. It’s like the man who owed his master a thousand talents. There’s no way you can pay off the debt. The Master forgives you all of it. “However, people have been hurt by your refusing to accept responsibility for your mistakes. I would have you go to as many of those people as possible and ask for their forgiveness. Admit your guilt to them. If they forgive you, well and good. If they don’t, that’s between them and God.” The young man shook his head. “That’s going to be hard.” “I’m sure it will be. And some people will be hard on you. God will help you. Just trust in Him.” “OK.” David sighed deeply. “I feel like a new man.” Father Paul rose and placed an encouraging hand on David’s shoulder. “You get some sleep now. We’ll talk in the morning.” Our guest nodded and lay back on his bed. The next morning, I sat with David at breakfast. “I hear you had a life-changing experience last night.” He beamed at me. “Yes. I finally admitted to many things I have done in my life. And I have received God’s forgiveness.” “That’s why this is place sometimes called Salvation Ranch. What happens now?” He looked at his plate. “I guess first I need to apologize to you for being the cause of the loss of your horse. I said something to Maria that led to her swatting at me and hitting the horse. I’m sorry.” “Thank you, David, for admitting it. I’m so happy for this change in you, I won’t sue you for damages. And, of course, I forgive you.” I paused and eyed him. “You will, of course, apologize to Maria, as well.” “Certainly. For what I said – even in fun. She obviously didn’t think it was funny. I’ll also ask forgiveness for her black eye.” He looked at me. “You know, she really is a good tennis player.” “I know.” He sighed. “Then I need to go back to my job and admit the mistakes I made there. I’m just afraid it will cost me my job.” “It may,” I agreed. “However, it won’t get you killed. You can always work for someone else. Better yet, you could end up doing the work God has planned for you. Meanwhile, you take a couple more days here to talk to Maria and seek God about your new life. Then we can send you back.” “Thank you. And thank Father Paul for me.” “He expected this. He says, ‘You’re welcome.’” |