What Went Unsaid All That Time

Sorrow.
Yes sorrow.
Why?
Because I couldnt save you.
You were right there and I could have.
All that time I could have changed your mind.
If only I'd had known.

Sudden.
It was so sudden,
How?
Because you were standing there.
Peering down below your feet.
Standing motionless on the window sill.
And I froze out of my childish shock.

Wishes.
So many wishes.
What?
There you stood, I had to tell you so much.
I had so much to say before you left me.
And now the emptiness in my heart is eternal.
For I will never get another chance.

Words.
What I was at loss for.
Which?
Words like how much I loved you.
And what you got me through when my life was crashing down.
And how you were all I lived for or else I'd jump too.
And how I wished that I could have saved you too.

Guilt.
What now haunts places.
Where?
Where ever I am.
Because I dont feel like I could have saved you.
You saved me from taking the dive and I couldnt save you.
I just dont feel like I was good enough for you, like I could have been so much more.

Misery.
How it haunts a living person.
Who?
Me, who couldnt save you, who stood still.
My mouth ran dry, my throat scratchy, my eyes watery, my heart black.
And all I did was worthless, I looked at you, and you looked back.
And I gazed into your now ending pools of green.

Fear.
What is eating me now.
How come?
Because now I too stand on the same window sill.
Gazing down to the ground below my feet.
In my own words, I am staring into my freedom, into the end of it.

The end.
Current times.
Dont you get it now?
The end of the sorrow, the suddenness, the wishes.
The words, the guilt, the misery, the fear, the being without you.
And as I close my eyes softly, I imagine that last kiss we had together, and its end.

Air.
All around.
Why?
Because now I am following you, down into a pit of all the things that make me.
This is what they call my famous last words, resent them, retell them.
Though no one will care, remember them, because this is what went unsaid.

End.
Its end.
Your end.
My end.
The end.