A Woman Scorned

I sat and stared at the blank computer screen trying to form words in my head that would filter down into my fingers. A boiling rage ate away at my heart and I tried to vent my anger in a constructive way. I laughed out loud at this thought. Vent my anger in a constructive way. If only I had been thinking like that the first time. Maybe if I hadn’t let my anger overcome me…maybe. It doesn’t matter anymore, what’s done is done I can’t go back in time. When I caught them: I typed the words on the computer then erased them. I stretched my fingers and started typing again. I loved him. I loved him more than anything. As I typed all my thoughts of Trey and what had just happened invaded my mind. I loved his chocolate skin, dark brown eyes, braided hair, and funny personality and he loved my brown-skinned self—or so I thought he did. He would buy me flowers and chocolate, new clothes, take me out dancing and dining. You can be damn sure with a man behaving this good he was getting some every night. I not only satisfied his sexual needs I bought him material objects and let him stay in my house when he couldn’t afford his anymore because he was laid off from his job. I thought our love was true and forever… that was until I came home tonight. I stood on the porch, my arms limp by my side, my jaw hanging in horror as I peered through a crack in the curtains. I watched my boyfriend on the couch on top of another woman. When she turned her face toward the window my heart skipped a beat as I recognized her face. She was Laura my best friend.
“I can’t believe this!” My mind screamed silently! I watched him drive into her while she thrashed and screamed. Suddenly I felt sick and angry. Extremely angry and I wondered how hard it would be to murder my boyfriend and best friend. I backed away from the window and ran back towards my car. I had always kept a small gun in the compartment, but I had no idea whether or not it was loaded. A quick check reassured me it was. I swallowed down tears that threatened to overcome me at the thought of shooting the two people I loved most in the world and I ran back to the house. I crept into the living room, arm outstretched gun wavering uncertainly before me. With an effort, I steadied my shaking hand and took another step into the room. I could hear their heavy breathing and loud moans of pleasure. They had not yet noticed my entrance. I 5took a deep breath, steeling myself against the nausea that bubbled up from the pit of my stomach and poised my finger over the trigger. I stepped further into the room and in clear view of my boyfriend and Laura.
         “Cassie!” my boyfriend cried startled. His gaze fell upon the gun in my hand.
What are you doing? Cassie, listen to me--” But he didn’t finish his sentence. A loud BANG filled the room when I pulled the trigger and a bullet shot straight from the gun and hit Trey in the head. He fell on top of Laura and she screamed. She kept screaming, as I looked at Trey the small bullet hole in his head, the thin line of blood that trickled from it. I snapped out of my abrupt immobility and held the gun over Laura’s face.
“SHUTUP BITCH!” I shouted and it silenced her screaming.
“I can’t believe you.” My voice shook and I grew teary-eyed.
“You were my best friend.”
“Cassie please I’m sorry. Cassie please don’t shoot me.” Laura pleaded.
“Too late. You should have thought about the consequences before you screwed my boyfriend. Goodbye Laura.”
I pulled the trigger and the bullet went through Laura’s eye. Where her hazel eye had once been was now nothing but an empty hole oozing with blood. I dropped the gun on the floor, kneeled over and my breakfast and lunch poured through my mouth onto the floor. The tears I had been trying to hold back ran down my cheeks. I left the living room to enter my office in the house and closed the sliding doors. I sat at the computer that was already on, clicked on my word processing program and stared at the blank screen. I sat there thinking about what words I wanted to type, what reason for doing what I did, did I want to put on paper? Whatever I wanted to type I had to do it fast the neighbors had definitely heard the gunshots and called the police. The Bedford police were not ones to delay an emergency call. So I sat there my mind racing and finally the words came to me. I typed quickly for five minutes, wiping away my constant tears. When I finished I read my finished product out loud:
“I loved him. I loved him more than anything. I satisfied his wants and needs. So what would make him cheat on me? I thought things were cool. Boy was I a fool to think this man cared about me. All he wanted to do was fuck me. I try to keep myself fine. But he didn’t care, he went out, got some girl to drink wine, then- screwed her from behind. I caught him in the act. I went crazy I’ll admit that. So crazy I got my gun and in that one instance it was all over and done. My life’s ruined now and that’s all I can say. Because my man cheated on me and I lost control because of a sad man and a sad ho.” So I’m not a poet I thought. But it expressed my feelings and said why I did what I did.
          BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Loud knocking at my door signaled the arrival of the police. I left the office and went into the living room. The knocking continued.
“This is the police. Open up!” A man’s deep voice yelled through the door.
“Open up or we’ll be forced to break the door down.” I opened the front door before any of that was necessary. The two brown-skinned officers eyed me concerned. No doubt they were staring at my puffy eyes and dry white tears stuck to my cheeks.
“Is everything all right?” We got a call that gunshots were coming from inside the house.” One of the police officers asked me.
“No,” I said sadly. “Everything isn’t all right. I killed them come in and see for yourself.” I moved aside and the officers entered. When they saw the two naked bodies on the couch each with a bullet hole in them and the gun on the floor: the cop nearest me grabbed my arms spun me around and handcuffed me. The other one used his walkie-talkie to call in my crime.
         “I had to kill them.” I said. “I had to.”
         “You have the right to remain silent,” the cop began. “If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney--”
His voice faded into the distance in my mind as I continued to try to talk over him.
“I had to kill him,” I said furiously.
“He hurt me. I had to kill him!” I screamed. “Had to, had to, had to!”
         The cop ignored me and led me outside into the back of the police car. I sat in the back seat still whispering to myself.
         “Had to, had to, had to, had to…”