Love You To Death

                             

                               

Love You To Death

                                   

By SM Ferguson

    I knew people must die tonight. Her for leaving me and him for taking her away. Moving silently in the darkness, I approached my vantage point. Reaching it, I crouched, drawing the gun  hidden in my coat.



    Soft laughter filled my ears. They suspected nothing. I let rage build inside me at her foolishness. Did she not remember I'd sworn to kill her before I'd let her go? The day I'd made that promise, she'd simply looked at me with her soft, green eyes.



    " Your  threats are why I must leave, Jimmy." She'd spoken." I fear your  jealousy will cause you to hurt me one day."



    My heart turned cold at her words. She couldn't understand my jealousy proved my love for her. A man had to protect what was his. My father taught me that point every day of my youth. He'd beaten my mother regularly.



    " You can't let women push you around, boy." He'd warned." You gotta teach them they can't run wild on you."



    I'd hated him for it. My mother had been a silent, frightened woman. She did stay home and care for my father though. The night she'd tried to leave him, he'd beaten her so badly a neighbor called the police.



    Father had known the cops would take her away. He'd attacked them with a gun. The gun I held now. My mind flashed  forward from that night. My mother's face, years later. She'd remarried, learned to live again. Her laughter sounded alot like my Angie's.



    Confusion filled my mind. I stared at the gun, my body was tight with tension. This line of thinking could not be. I was not like my father. I'd never hit Angie." Then why are you here?"  My thoughts whispered." Is killing her  different or better then hitting her ?"



    "No, no, no." I sank to my knees as I fought the logic of that inner voice.

  " She'll never laugh, never get a second chance like your mother." It was relentless that voice. I would kill the boyfriend. She'd have to turn to me once he was gone. She'd have to love me.



    "Did your mother love your dad after he killed that cop?" The inner voice was persistant." Would she want you to be like your father ?"



  " No," I screamed back silently. Tears began flowing unchecked down my cheeks. I heard Angie through the window.



    " I love you." she told him."Your the kindest man I've met."



    She'd never said those words to me. I peered in the window. Angie was watching him, a beautiful smile lighting her face. Knowledge slammed through me then. If I completed what I'd come here for, I would become my father. Pain bit deeply into my mind. Murdering him would not bring her back to me. My jealousy and violence had driven a wedge between us months ago. She belonged with him now.



    Replacing the gun in my jacket, I left quietly. The inner voice throbbed in my skull, "it's not too late for you."

  My mother's house loomed up ahead of me. I had no memory of coming here. Stumbling, mind numbed with pain and shock, I climbed her front steps. Sobbing, I knocked. The door opened, my mother's arms drew me inside.



    " Jimmy, what is it?' She asked." What's wrong?"



    Silently, I handed her the gun. Her eyes flew wide in shock.



    " I need you, Mom" My body shook." Help me not to be like him." 



Word Count: 865