The Gospel According to Patrick

With love and affection for
Josephine and her enduring patience


Jo

I am going to write you a poem

Of wonder and blue

I am going to twist it with yellows
Reds and delights

As I think of the warmth
The strength and the might

That comes from a friend
That you hold in the night

As the colors of spring
Come forth in the night

I wonder at the beauty
Of such a perfect delight







Three weeks B.C

As the sun rose once again over the high hills demonstrating all of it's beautiful dynamic splendor by quickly burning off the early morning chill, Mary sighed with a great sense of anticipation as she felt him begin to move. Once again he was waking with the rising of the sun she thought, as she rubbed her palms gently over her tummy feeling him wriggling, kicking, or maybe it was his hand reaching out, moving ever so gently, but strong and deliberate.
She was sure her baby was a boy, just as she was sure that he was very special indeed. Mary was filled with a very deep inner understanding of herself, wise beyond her years, able to recognize with anticipation, the adventure, the love and the caring that her son had for entering this world.  She was very excited and at the same time she was filled with a strong sense of foreboding, frightened because she knew beyond doubt that many of the men of this world were cruel and evil.
      As the sun began to deliver its hot dry oppressive heat upon this barren hilly world of hers once again, she began to re-call some of her earliest memories of these animals, animals that everyone else called men. She was five years old when she saw the foot soldiers for the first time.  They terrified her and her friends beyond belief, her heart beginning to race again with fear as she remembered running away with the other children just as fast as their little legs would carry them to their secret hiding place. 
      Her mother had warned her and all the other children that no one was safe from these invaders, men who always came from another land, men who were always full of lies, deceit even evil.  Always gathering in the town square waiting for the still of night to come before drinking feasting and raping any of the women who were silly or curious enough to be out and about, or those who just didn’t have anywhere else to go.  Waiting also for the informers to sneak into their camp under the cover of darkness, bringing the information they needed that would lead to tomorrow’s blood sports. Those who were the have nots, trading information with those who had it all it seemed, for sometimes as much as a piece of silver and other times for something as small as a piece of stale crusty bread, just depending upon how the soldiers felt at the time. Mary felt for these people, knowing in her heart that they were good people, surviving in the only way they knew how.
Mary was suddenly jolted from her lasting memories by the sound of a cart coming along the rough stony road. Soon her friend and partner, Joseph, (oh how she loved him), would bring them some bread and clean water and maybe if they were lucky he would also bring a fresh vegetable or even two and some warm goat’s milk, something for which she craved.  These simple pleasures were sometimes scarce and from time to time they had to go hungry, but today she hoped it would be different. The birth of her child not far away now, no-more than a few weeks, her breasts heavy with milk, her nipples sore and hard, desperately aching for release.  She sighed once again in anticipation, she knew her time was near.
Mary had great hopes for her son, if she could keep him alive.  She had heard stories, wild rumors during these last few weeks from the market place, stories that filled her heart and soul with fear and foreboding.  For Mary like all who had come before her, was lost in the art of childbirth. Sometimes the feeling of despair and helplessness overcame her completely, tears beginning to roll gently down her cheeks, worried and frightened that they might take her son away from her.  Oh how this hurt her heart and soul - they wouldn’t dare take her son away would they?
Her friend was late today, perhaps the soldiers were in the village and if this was so he would not come near her until it was absolutely safe, for fear that they might hurt her and her baby. He had always looked after her, been her protector, a guide, and loving dear friend who had been by her side for as long as she could remember.  Hours had gone by now and he still had not returned.  Hungry, thirsty and frightened for her friend she settled back to wait, her mind wandering back to the foot soldiers, their armour shinning in the sunshine their bright sparkling iron swords, the long wooden lances and spears that they always carried. The leaders always riding in the chariots far too lazy to walk by the side of their men, happy in the knowledge that they were the law. It was often whispered in the market place that if you even looked at them you could get dragged away into the night to be used over and over by the drunken animals for their night’s pleasure. The lucky ones left to die, the unlucky ones scarred for life, their hearts and souls ripped out, condemned forever to a life of shame and despair.  Oh it was better not to go near them.
Mary was filled with sadness as she wondered what kind of hope there might be for the future.  Again, the shiver passed through her body over and over again, her spirit at work; she mused, as she thought about her life so far. How and why had she learned to hate these men? They had their own law, their own way, no respect for anyone else it seemed, except, their own.  As the day passed, her fear for Joseph deepened, as he had never been away this long before. She prayed for his safety and well being, for at the moment it seemed that he was all they had.  Her hunger was deepening now, her baby restless within her.  She knew her child was special, he had to be she thought, as she began thinking of the future.
She imagined a place where all men might be equal, where there was plenty of food, shelter, warm clothing for the cold nights, a place where the children could run free, free from fear, free from hunger.  Oh how she hoped and prayed there was such a place.  Moving restlessly now, thinking about her son resting quietly at the moment waiting for his time. She knew instinctively like all mothers must, that he would be a beautiful child and he would grow up in these barren but fertile lands with the many gifts she knew he would inherit from her. How could it be any other way? For he was not born of these animals, her child was different.
  She sensed that he would be a great messenger to the world.  A caring honest man, able to help the old and the sick, the weak and the helpless, bringing a sense of strength and wellbeing to mankind and above all else a sense of hope to everyone, someone for all the people to look up to. It was her destiny to bring her child into this world. She knew it beyond doubt.
She wondered how she would guide him, how she would teach him the things he would need to know. The first years would be the most difficult and carry the most risk, before he could walk, before he could run hide and fend for himself. Would she be able to find enough food and water and where would his clothes come from that he must wear? So many unanswered, questions, so many fears so many hopes, desires and ambitions for her beautiful unborn child.
Mary stirred slowly, standing carefully, oh, how her back was hurting, it was so difficult to stand up straight during these last few weeks. She was aching with hunger, the cold of the night was coming and still her friend had not returned. She was genuinely frightened now, maybe he wouldn’t return and then what would she do?
Mary, serene in her beauty now lay in her makeshift bed of straw. Her long ebony hair cascading over her shoulders, accentuating her aquiline nose and high cheekbones. Her crystal clear dark brown eyes, sometimes wide open with awe and splendor, radiant with the beauty and promise that all women must find in their final months of pregnancy. Settling back she began to contemplate her future.  Mary knew that she was different, although she never really knew or understood how or why she was full of this child.  She recalled her vision of the angel who appeared before her telling her she was the chosen one. 
Unsure at first but now with the will of God coursing through her veins she knew beyond doubt that she would do whatever was necessary to protect her child against all the evil that had manifested itself in humanity.
Daydreaming now, a vision of a beautiful garden like land, she wondered aloud could such a place could exist, a land where she could go, where her son could grow with the freedom honesty and caring that she knew would display itself.  A place, where all men were equal, where the women the children and the elderly were respected above all else, a place where there was enough fruit, vegetables and nuts, flowers in abundance and cool crystal clear water for drinking and bathing.  Alas, she had never heard of such a place but it was deep within her heart, surely there must be a place where she could give birth without the hunger, without the fear and uncertainty that surrounded her now.

              ****************************
Joseph had been away now for two days and Mary was terribly frightened, hungry and full of despair wanting to venture out into the world, needing milk or water even some of those parched dried potatoes that only the other day they had turned down. Crying openly now she didn’t want it to end like this, to end before it had even began.  Weary with despair the tears forming again, running down her cheeks like rivers flooded in full fury. What about her son, what chance will he have now?  As these thoughts coursed through her being she fell into a deep but troubled sleep where Mary began to dream.
Mary dreamed of a time and a place far into the future where men and women would live in harmony, where men were noble - men who sought to look after their women and children in a land that had plenty to offer.  A very special land, a far away place surrounded by water where people from all over the world gathered. A neutral country, where the borders were protected from invasion from foreign lands, a place where no other mans armies were in residence, where men women and children were welcomed with open arms, providing they displayed the strength of character and respect to enter through the front door. A place where the elderly were given the right to die with the dignity they deserve, not kept in silence, forgotten, learned on or used as experiments in the name of science. 
A place where caring and honesty was the rule of law, where if you took a life either by accident or design you forfeited your own.  A place where men spent their time providing for their families.  A country so beautiful, so beautiful in its nature, that the only thing that the men wanted to do was to protect it from decline.
Mary stirred, something awakening her, her eyes sticky with the mixture of dirt, grime from the tears that she had shed as she fell asleep.  Her heart jumped and raced with fear as all of her defenses flashed up against the hurt that might come, expecting to have her life suddenly crushed out of her as she saw a man watching her carefully from a distance.  Not being able to see clearly because of the light she suddenly realized it was Joseph her beautiful friend.  Mary struggled quickly to her feet heavy with her burden she struggled across the room and fell into his arms, relieved beyond belief.  For here was one man she knew beyond doubt, who would sacrifice his life, for their safety and well being.
She wept openly now mostly in relief knowing that for now she was safe.  Her hunger suddenly overwhelming all the other emotions as she ripped at the fresh bread and drank her fill of the beautiful, fresh and still warm goat’s milk, grateful for the respite that she had been granted. 
After taking her fill she rested again, this time peacefully in Joseph’s arms. Joseph, looking down at her was filled to overflowing with a deep sense of pride, love and respect for his beautiful friend.  While she slept, he too wondered about Mary and how she had become pregnant, for he knew that he was not the father and he believed her when she told him that she did not in fact, really understand how she was full of this child.  He dreaded her waking for he knew that he must tell her of the stories that were circulating in the market place. Everyone was coming alive with a new uneasiness and apprehension, even fear.  As he pondered their future he came to realize that this might be the baby they were all looking for, a King of Kings, they said, a leader of men, a man of peace and goodwill, a man it seemed that they were all frightened of.  A man who would bring peace to the world of those, who didn’t want peace, he would not last long he thought sadly.
Joseph reflected on these thoughts and how this child might bring peace to their world. These men so called leaders; they loved the hunt, the killing. They lusted after the power to kill, the power the mighty sword gave them, especially over the women and the children the old, the weak and the sick. As strange as it might seem, he too thought like Mary, they almost always came from another land and they always executed these awful deeds in the name of God.  Suddenly he knew beyond doubt that it was his task, his duty. His entire reason for being alive was to protect Mary and her unborn child.
So as they lay together, Mary looking so beautiful, asleep in his arms, no matter her unwashed clothes and the dirt that was caked on her face her untidy hair, he began to plan for their future.

2007 A.D

          Not many travelling these days Mary thought, as she stepped off the bus well into the future.
Mary had learned so much, she was in awe of the world - cars, trains, boats and planes - so much had changed.  This time life was different.  This time she was sitting, watching, listening, hearing and contemplating some of the things she had learned during her long tiring journey.  Sighing deeply she looked sadly but defiantly back over the past the two thousand years, the two thousand years that had passed since she had last traveled on that very special bus.
Men hadn’t changed much, she thought no matter the toys. However, it was clear that there were still many new exciting adventures and exquisite pleasures to be had in this new world, a world that she knew now, held many treasures of pure wonder and splendor, that were not to be missed by anybody, neglected, forgotten nor lost.  The animal kingdom was one, she thought, brought into our homes by television and camera technology and man’s ingenuity, such a wonderful extraordinary miracle of life for all of us to learn and space she thought, a frontier that had never even existed before.
The world, it was so much bigger now than it was before. So many different places to go, so many different people to meet, so many different ideas and so many different ways. All caught up in the never-ending rush of evolution. It was so hard to know which way to turn, which was right and which was wrong. It was clear, the sooner we all got used to free trade the easier it was going to be. 
Her mind wandered as she considered what had happened to man’s courage to stand against the killing.  Those leaders who have allowed the killing to continue she thought, it is they who are the failures of mankind.
Religion she pondered! What a mess that turned out to be.  She knew then like she knew now, that the Kingdom of God was to be found within, there was no heaven and no hell as such, it was all here on earth. You either lived there or you didn’t, according to your deeds or the deeds of others and that’s all there was to it.  She knew without doubt that there was nothing after death except the most perfectly beautiful peaceful sleep that anyone could ever imagine. A mere seventy years in just a billion or two, - not much time for most.
Of course there was racism she thought now there was a serious challenge. So much new information available! Our planet so far off the beaten track from the other civilizations of the universe, where life in all shapes and sizes was thousands of years ahead - soon we would all learn.
Her mind wandered again as she thought about her sexuality and how it hurt her.  She had denied her feelings and personal needs for more than 6000 years now and she was absolutely sure that it had all been for the wrong reasons.
It was so important that people learned who they were before entering into life’s journey with a partner. Something that did not seem to happen very often in this new world, leaving more children without fathers than all the wars put together.  Something was seriously wrong.
She allowed herself to accept what she had learned during this visit, understanding intimately now, how women were the greatest gift to man that there ever will be, wondering to herself if men would ever become refined enough to realize this.
      So many beautiful things going on she thought, drifting back to her past and remembering that Joseph had been right, her son didn’t live long.  She thought lovingly back to the first days together with her son, the first hours and the first very special moments of their short life together, never a finer moment in a mother’s life.
It surprised her but even after all this time she could still feel the pain in her hands as she remembered watching, trembling with fear as the nails were driven into her son's hands, thinking honesty and caring had become the two most worthless commodities of this world.
Mary sighed once again, blinded back to reality as news of another terrorist bombing began flashing across her screen, leaving scores of women and children dead, dying or maimed for life.  A brutal reminder that of all those very beautiful days that she had shared with Joseph and her beautiful baby boy so many many years ago. 
It gave her cause to remember the time when Moses had delivered the first commandments “Thou shalt not kill” one of them read.  She laughed to herself, after so much had happened it should have read Thou shalt not kill “everything at once” 
She remembered once again that she had been asked to give birth to what seemed to be a very special child, a King of Kings they whispered in the market place, a man who would give all people some one to look up to, to aspire to.  A man who was forgiving, compassionate not afraid of death or of dying. 
Mary’s emotions were running hard now on a mixture of happiness and love, hope and anticipation for the future, mixed with fear, foreboding, hate and uncertainty. 
These emotions discarded by men as being a worthless ambition flowed through her body endlessly, like huge ocean waves with no beginning and no end sometimes shimmering in the light with calm peaceful tranquility. Other times roaring with the anger of the Gods wasted on men who believe that money and power are the only values.  These emotions having no place in a society that was unwilling to show that they are able to care about anything else but themselves, ruled by the lust of power. As a result people were having to struggle with their own conscience fighting from within, trying to choose between right and wrong.  Surely difficult for those who have nothing, no home, no food, no warmth, and no hope and for those who have had their heart and soul ripped out. “Where is the wrong in survival”? She asked herself.
How she had hoped that her son would have the courage to admit when he was wrong he made mistakes she knew.  If you seek the truth and look for the courage, look inside not outside and you will be rewarded; she remembered teaching him as a young man.
Now some 2000 years after the birth of her child, she sat in these high mountains, overlooking mankind, observing their behavior contemplating the past and the future a final straw breaking her heart completely.  The birth of her child, the life and the cruel death of her only son had all been for nothing.  Men hadn’t changed, they didn’t care about anything but themselves, they still didn’t listen, they still murdered each other, the helpless the women the children the old and the weak, they still lusted after the power to kill, they still proclaimed it was in the name of God.  The essence of democracy already reduced, becoming nothing more than a licence to dictate the terms.
Politicians, rarely having the courage to seek peace. They surrounded themselves with advisers living their life trying to lead from behind without the conviction of belief.  Always counting the numbers, afraid of losing their place on the world stage. Egotistic, without vision, without the strength of character that enables them to care. Buying their way into power with false promises unable to stand in the image of God.  They still lied, they still spoke untruths, and they still, almost always came from another land and now the greatest hurt of all for Mary, was that it was her own people. Of all the inconceivable things that could happen to her, it was her very own people who sanctioned this murder.  If things could get worse, they perpetrated this lie, by always telling the world that it was in her name and the name of the man, her son, the beautiful baby boy that she remembered fondly, from such a long, long time ago. The beautiful baby boy, that she called Jesus.

After completing the arrangements that were necessary for getting back on the bus, her task completed here, she sat back, watching the sun set over this humanity for one last time. She thought to herself, all I want now is to be able to proclaim the birthplace of my son as a symbol of peace.  A place of hope owned by no one but protected by all, maybe the one small place on earth where life is sacramount.
A place where man has no rights,
except to stand in awe
and give respect to,
the beauty of life.
Footnote:
In the end I can only conclude that there is little or no indication that this human race in interested in anything more than destroying all that has come before. You make war in the name of God for a principle that doesn’t exist.
“If I have been here before, six thousands years ago, 4000 years ago 2000 years ago and I came back again I would burn you all in Hell”