A Better Sense Of Civility ...

I don't claim to be the most civilized person in the world but I think a lot about how I can go through my day just being myself and without stepping on too many toes. I just wish more people would do that! In the course of my 18 year career as a pub musician (yes, it's been that long), I have come across all sorts of individuals, most of them very very nice but a few who aren't so considerate! I just fail to comprehend how some people can end up being so mean and rude ... especially to people in the service industry. I have seen waiters/waitresses being insulted by customers for petty reasons. Is it really that difficult to be kinder? Would it be so hard to speak politely? There is such a thing as 'using the proper channels', isn't there? An inefficient waiter/waitress could simply mean ... bad management! The management is almost always to be blamed for inefficient staff. Why? Because the management hires the individual in the first place and they are supposed to train them well. So if someone is dissatisfied with the service shouldn't he/she complain to the management? Why deride the individual in public? Does it mean you have bigger b_lls (ladies...this applies to you too) when you do something like that? I don't think so ... you just come across as an a_ _ hole of the 1st degree when you do that!

Just the other night while we were at work, we had a request to play a song by 'Egland Dan & John Ford Coley'. Ha ha ... fine, most of you may not like their music but I happen to think they write wonderful love songs. So being the accomodating musicians that we are (we're predominantly a cover band after all) we comply and what do we get? Some a_ _ hole in the crowd who actually thought his b_lls were big enough, shouting 'boring'. What rubbish, you're not the only person in the club so stuff it already! Well I let it by the 1st time around, simply because I wasn't sure who it was (maybe his b_lls weren't all that big after all). The next week it happened again, this time after we performed 'When The Children Cry', no request this time ... I just happen to think that's a very good song, so we played it. Same thing happens and this time I know who it is so I don't let it slide. I literally tell him to f_ _k off and he doesn't like it, but do I care? Not a bit! Yes I know, maybe I should have spoken to the management about it but I couldn't help wanting to give that a_ _hole a dose of his own medicine. I have since found out that the culprit sells toilet bowls for a living ... ha ha, that would explain why he's so full of S_ _T (pun intended)! For those of you who have done something like that to anyone in the service industry, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Never do that again because it is just not civil! If you don't like something/someone in a certain place go somewhere else. Don't expect changes to be made just to suit your fancy ... if you want that, start you own joint! :o)

Having said all I've said above, this brings me to another issue. 'Oh ... I'm sorry, I was drunk!'. Haven't we all heard that line at some point or other in our lives. That's about the lamest excuse ever! That's why there are laws against drunk driving. If you can't handle your alcohol then DON'T DRINK!!! What's with saying, 'Sorry I didn't mean to do or say that ... I was irretrievably drunk!'. Get real ... isn't there also a saying that goes 'DRUNK PEOPLE DON'T LIE!'? I believe that's so much closer to the truth ... so please save yourselves some embarassment by getting in touch with your inner selves as intimately as possible before taking on that all exposing pastime called 'HAVING A FEW' or to some of you early birds ... 'HAPPY HOUR'. It certainly would save those around you the trouble of cooking up excuses for your errant behaviour!

Another thing that sits at the top of my 'Human Traits That Bug Me The Most' list is this, why can't people just be straightforward? A lot of problems can crop up when people don't speak their minds. There'll almost always be a lot of apologizing later that way! When confronted about their lack of 'straight forwardness' a lot of them say this famous little line that really really irks me, 'I'm sorry...I didn't want to hurt your feelings'. Rubbish ... then why insinuate in the first place? Fine, a certain level of tact must be used and a certain level of diplomacy practiced ... so when you've got that magic balance right already, just spit it out! Come on...I'm a musician, not a mind reader. If you are reading this and you don't know the difference between the two, please stop now and go away! Don't be offended because I only have your best interest in mind. We all know that time is precious and I honestly do not want to waste yours!

Asking politely also goes a very long way but one should always remember that just because you ask for something politely, it doesn't mean you are going to get it! Ha ha ... this is something I'm desperately trying to instill in my 8 year old, especially when we walk down the aisles of the very expensive TOYS 'R' US store! Like I said she's only 8, most of the people I deal with are adults ... what's their excuse? I think understanding this is really important! Asking politely does increase your percentage for success though but nothing in life is guaranteed! I know God said, 'ask and you shall receive' but I believe He/She meant that for a different time. Those days people just TOOK without ASKING. Try that now and see where you end up!

After all has been said and done, I am a firm believer that no single person exists solely by themselves. We all need one another ... like pieces to a giant jigsaw puzzle. As James Taylor so clearly pointed out in his song 'SHOWER THE PEOPLE', 'it's true what they say about this squeaky wheel, always get in the grease...' . Aren't we all spokes in this giant wheel of life ... so come on, think of civility as the grease that helps our wheel spin squeak free ... SPREAD IT AROUND, coz there's nothing like A WELL OILED MACHINE!!!

Gerard Singh