Endless sky ; Chapters 9 - 14

Chapter 9

         “Mom, Dad, We’re back” James yelled as they walked in the house, Kinsey was in a daze, she could not remember any of their ride back to LA, It had been a long ride but that’s all she could remember. She did feel as though a hard weight had been lifted from her heart, as she remembered how her mom had died. James’ mom and dad rushed into the living room, worry and relief sketched their faces as Kinsey collapsed into a nearby chair and sighed deeply. “What happened” Mrs. Marcel asked as James sat down on the couch and stretched his long legs out in front of him, she looked from Kinsey to James and back again, waiting for an answer. James shook his head, “Now isn’t the right time” He explained, that Kinsey was going through a rough time right now but didn’t offer any more details. “Kinsey, when you’re ready, I’d like to know what’s going on” was all his dad could say, and then the two of them left the room.

Kinsey turned to James, “Baby, I’m sorry” she said getting up and sitting next to him on the couch, she started to grab his hand but he moved it away from her grasp, she closed her eyes in pain and got up from the couch, she walked in the bathroom and shut the door tightly behind her. Kinsey pushed the razor down deep, she was sitting on the floor next to the bathtub, a towel on her lap and a razor in her hand, she had searched the cuberts for something that was sharp. Tears streamed her face as she cut, she didn’t know how else to get the emotion out and tears just weren’t doing it anymore. Suddenly she felt very lightheaded, she dropped the bloody razor to the ground and closed her eyes, as darkness took her over.

James knew he was being an asshole, but He didn’t know if he could deal with all this and the questions from his parents and his niece, He loved Kinsey but He wasn’t sure if she was the one. He looked towards the bathroom, It had been 20 minutes since she went in there and he didn’t hear anything, He leaned back and placed his hands up to his face to wipe his eyes, a bad feeling hit the pit of his stomach hard, He didn’t know why but something was wrong. He got up from the couch and made his way to the bathroom. He rapped at the door, “Kenz, are you okay” he said. He waited a minute, no answer, He reached down and turned the handle and opened the door. “Kenz” he said again, He walked in and saw her. She was slumped down on the floor, He saw a razor besides her dripping with blood, and He ran to her and checked for a pulse, he found it.

“Mom, call 911” he yelled over his shoulder, His mom ran into the bathroom the cordless phone dangling from her hand, “why” she asked and then she saw why and the phone dropped from her hand and clattered on to the floor. She quickly picked the phone up, “we need an ambulance,” she said into the phone and then sirens could be heard in the distance.

The two of them sat in the ER waiting room, James kept his hands tightly together on his lap, he kept glancing at his mom who had a blank expression on her face, He hadn’t even wanted his mom to come but she had insisted on driving him, He was sure that his mom thought he wasn’t even going to go to the hospital. After a moment he got up, “James where are you going?” His mom asked glancing up from the newspaper, which lay open on her lap. “Just outside, to smoke” he said, “come and get me, if you find out anything while I am gone” He said before walking outside. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, “Why does she keep doing this” He muttered to himself, He glanced back up toward the door and saw the doctor talking to his mom, He threw the cigarette away and rushed back into the ER. When the doctor saw James he turned his attention toward him, “Kinsey is alright, but I would like to keep her overnight, however she has been asking for you. If you’d follow me, you can come and see her before she is moved upstairs”. James nodded and followed the doctor, telling his mom he would be right out.

“Kinsey, James is here” the doctor said sticking his head into the room, “You can go on in, stay as long as you would like” the doctor said to James before walking down the hall. James took a deep breath before going inside, He didn’t want to yell at her, but He also didn’t want to keep paying for her past. He walked in the room and touched her shoulder. She rolled over to face him but was unable to look him directly in his eyes; she glanced up for a moment and saw that his eyes were red, from crying. She reached out for his hand, almost scared he would pull away again but he didn’t.

“Kenz, I just can’t do this anymore, you have to let your past go if you want to marry me” James said, quietly. “I know” Kinsey said, as she wiped away the tears that had started to fall from her eyes. A knock on the door made them both turn their heads, Mrs. Marcel stood there, and “Can I come in” she asked. James looked at Kinsey who nodded and then he turned toward his mom and nodded at her, “Come in” He said quietly. Mrs. Marcel walked into the room and nodded to Kinsey as she asked James to leave them alone for a moment, He looked at his mom and then nodded as he quickly exited the room, shutting the door tightly behind him.

“Kinsey, James is in love with you but I don’t think that he can deal with all this anymore” Mrs. Marcel stated, Kinsey started to reply but shut up when James’ mom started to speak again. “Please let me finish, if you want to continue being with my son, I think you better seek out counseling. I don’t have the energy to deal with all your arguments, not anymore and not in my house.” She got up and headed toward the door, “I’ll send James back in” she called over her shoulder as she left the room. Kinsey quickly wiped the tears from her face as she waited for James to come back in the room but he never did. She sat there in silence waiting for him to return, finally in the early morning hours she drifted off to sleep.

The shill ringing of the telephone jerked her awake, she glanced at the clock which read, 10:30am and reached for the phone.

‘Hello’
‘Kinsey, It’s me’ James said
‘What happened last night’?
‘I decided to just head home’
‘Why’
‘Look, I don’t think this is working, I think it would be best on both of us, if we just end this thing now’

The phone dropped out of her hand hitting the floor, she lay against the bed as tears streamed from her eyes.

“So I guess this is everything” Kinsey muttered as she loaded her bags into her car, it had been 2 weeks since her and James split and she was headed back to North Carolina, she had called Candi and had gotten her job at the club back. As she slid behind the wheel she could feel the tears sitting behind her lids begging to be let out, she closed her eyes tightly and opened them as she started her car. She remembered their last conversation, before she had started packing, He said that he still loved her but she wasn’t as sure of his words now, as she had been in the past. Maybe he was bullshitting her all along, she thought that he was different, she was wrong. She didn’t look back, not once, as she drove away, her world had come crashing down.


Chapter 10

         She pulled into the parking lot of the club for her shift; she had come early to meet up with Jeff to talk about the job that she quit over 7 months ago. She got out of the car and walked into the building, saying hi to the bouncer as she made her way to Jeff’s office. She hated having to beg for her job back but she didn’t really have a choice. “I shouldn’t have quit” she muttered to herself before opening the door, Jeff looked up as she entered his tiny office and took a seat in front of his desk. “So here we are, back again” Jeff stated, a smile on his face, “I knew you’d be back, they always come back”. The smile disappeared from her face and she rolled her eyes, even though she knew that his statement was true. Jeff leaned back in his chair lighting up a cigarette and offering one to her, she took it and lit it up, all the while wishing she could slap the smug smile from his face. “So, would you like the same shift?” He asked, holding his pen above the notebook that lay open on the desk in front of him. She nodded, as she took the pen from him and signed her life back to him, now she was back in the same place as before.

She rose from the hard mental chair and nodded to Jeff, “Be here at 11” He called to her as she made her way back down the hallway and outside to her car.

At 10:30 she pulled her car into the familiar parking lot and got out, she grabbed her bag from the backseat and after making sure all her doors were locked she headed through the clubs double doors and into the dressing room. She breathed a sign of relieve when she saw that the room was empty, the last thing she needed was the questioning stares of the dancers that she left behind 7 months ago. She walked over to the empty dressing table and started to setting up her station, Memories tumbled back and threatened to break her down, silent tears filled her eyes but she pushed them back, brushing the memories away, she continued setting up her table. She pushed her bag under the table and started to undress to get ready for her debut set.

She breathed a sign of relief as she hurried off the set, relieved that the night was over with and she was able to go home, although not her home but that of fellow dancer and friend, Candice. The warm breeze hit her face as she threw open the back door and searched through the pool of cars for hers, she spotted it in the distance and started walking toward it but she stopped short when she saw who was leaning up against it. She closed her eyes, was she imagining things, or was that really him? She opened her eyes slowly and glanced up, yes it was him, it was James, he was really there but why she wondered. She decided to stay strong and put up a front, although usually an emotional person, she didn’t want him to see that she was hurt. She breathed in deeply and walked over to him.

As she approached him, he stood up and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black hoodie, Her face showed no emotion and he knew it was his fault but he also knew that she was putting up a front for him. She now stood directly in front of him, “What do you want” she spat out harshly; He took a step back as if he had just been slapped. “I just want to talk” he said slightly taken back, “Why did you come here, you could have called” she replied, her tone was just as cold. “Kinsey, please, just listen to me” he said reaching out for her hands, but she pulled them back and held them tightly at her sides, she wasn’t willing to give in that easily. He looked hurt that she wouldn’t open up like she once would, and she was pleased. “So why did you come here” She asked, and then she stared at him waiting for his response. Instead of answering, he reached out for her once more, but she pushed him away. He slammed his hand down on the hood of her car, the sound was so loud that she jumped, “well I guess I got my answer, I shouldn’t have came” he said and began to walk away.

“Well what the fuck do you expect?” she yelled after him, and then got in her car and sped off. She was going fast and the tears were coming down hard, they made her eyes blurry which made it hard to see, the street lights gleamed off of her windshield and blurred together with her tears, which just made things worse. She knew that she was going to fast, but she was going off her anger and being upset, she knew she should slow down, but she didn’t. She sped through the red light; she didn’t see the other car until it was to late. The impact of the crash knocked her head into the windshield and then she slammed back into her seat. She heard the faint police sirens in the distance before the darkness overtook her.


Chapter 11

         James stood in the crowded parking lot, and watched as her car sped away. He then stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked towards his truck, He wanted, no that wasn’t right; He needed to talk to her. To apologize to her, He had been wrong; He knew He had been wrong. He pulled his truck out & on to the nearly empty street, at 4 am, that was to be expected. He saw the sirens in the distance, and slowed down as the car in front of him did, and it was at that moment he saw her car. He pulled his truck over to the side of the street and as calmly as he could, walked over to the crowd of onlookers, as he stood there he hoped & prayed that it wasn’t her car, it couldn’t be her car, it just couldn’t. He quietly watched as the workers desperately tried to pry the door open, as smoke poured out of the hood. He needed to get closer, He had to make sure. He pushed his way through the crowd, until he reached one of the officers who were trying to hold everyone back. The officer saw him, “Sir, you have to stay back,” The officer barked at him. “But, That’s my wife” James, cried out before he could stop himself. The officer glanced at the workers and then back to James, “Alright, when they get her out, you can see her, that’s the best I can do,” He stated. One of the workers cried out, as a flame shot up from the hood. “Oh God” the crowd muttered, “Kinsey” James screamed as he pushed his way out of the officers grip, and ran towards the car which was now half engulfed in flames. One of the workers saw him and radioed in for help, 2 officers ran towards the scene and pulled him back towards the growing crowd of onlookers. “I told you to stay back” The same officer said roughly, “I mean it this time, pull that again, I’ll arrest you”. All he could do was stand and watch with the rest of them; the difference between him & them was that he knew the victim. Finally they pulled her from the car and put her on a stretcher, and it was only then that the officer let him through and led him to the ambulance before it drove off.

Kinsey lay motionless on the stretcher as the crew desperately tried to revive her, an oxygen mask strapped to her face and various ivs hung out of her, there were no signs of life and she looked like a broken china doll. All James could do was stare as silent tears dropped from his bloodshot eyes, He wanted to be close to her but he had to keep his distance to save her life. The ride to the nearest hospital seemed endless, His eyes never left her body as he waited for her to take a breath or give him a sign that she was going to be all right. It seemed hopeless.

Finally her chest began to rise and fall, he opened and closed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he wasn’t. Kinsey slowly opened her eyes and looked around confused, she glanced up at James who looked terrified and slowly began to remember that they were no longer together, and she was not in LA, she wondered what he was doing here and where the hell she was. She reached for his hand to try to assure him that she was okay, before she asked him where she was. His voice trembled as he told her that she was in an ambulance on her way to the hospital, she struggled to remember what might have happened, but she couldn’t. Every time she moved sharp pain shot up the lower half of the left side of her body. She grimaced in pain; She took a deep breath and then asked him what had happened. He gently explained that she had been in a car accident after leaving the club, purposely leaving out the horrible fight they had. He felt guilty about starting a fight with her so soon after their break up, maybe had he never came back, she wouldn’t be in the position she was in at that moment.

The arrived at the hospital a few minutes later and the ambulance crew sprung into quick action, James felt in the way, he moved aside and watched as they pushed the stretcher into the crowded ER. He quickly but quietly followed the crew, a nurse approached him for information on Kinsey and he reluctantly followed after her, not wanting to leave Kinsey alone. He tried to give all the information the nurse asked for as quickly as possible, he glanced out the reception window and was alarmed not to see Kinsey. The nurse glanced at him briefly as she explained that Kinsey had been moved into one of the rooms, and that he would be able to go back and be with her once they were finished. He nodded, once they were through the nurse directed him to where Kinsey was. He walked to her room; she was still strapped onto the backboard and still looked slightly confused. “I hate hospitals,” she finally said, looking at him. He didn’t know what to say, she had certainly been in enough hospitals recently, but maybe that was why she hated them so much, or maybe she had another reason, like the deaths of her mom and her younger sister. He felt bad to ask such a question at a time like this, but he wanted to know, however he didn’t have a chance to ask his question, as the doctor walked into the room at the moment. He moved over to one of the two chairs on the far side of the room and took a seat; the doctor slowly released her from the backboard and began to examine her.

The doctor scribbled down notes as he examined her and then told her that she was extremely lucky to get out of the accident alive and have nothing wrong with her. James glanced into the doctor’s face and saw how baffled he was, at that moment a nurse came in the room and handed the doctor a release form. The doctor took it and signed it, and then turned to Kinsey and James, "You are fine, you are free to go", he handed the form to James and left the room. James helped Kinsey get her coat back on, and together they walked out of the hospital.

Chapter 12

         “I know this is an awful time to ask this” he started to say, she glanced at his face and immediately knew what he was about to ask. “Do you want to know if the death of my mom shaped how I am right now?” she asked, “Um, yeah and do you remember, I mean, did you see what happened to her” he asked slowly. “Yes” she quietly replied. She took a deep breath and began to tell him what she had seen that night.

“I was sleeping, and they were downstairs arguing but it was a nightly event at my house, so I just tried to ignore it and continue to sleep. But it just got louder, He was screaming at her so loud the walls shook and I could hear her crying. I was scared but I quietly walked down the hall to my older brothers room, the door was closed, I opened it and he was sound asleep with headphones on, so I know he couldn’t hear anything. I didn’t want to bother him so I closed the door, I snuck to the top of the stairs and backed myself up against the wall, in a place where I could see them but they couldn’t see me. He backed her up against the fireplace, I couldn’t see her but I could see him. She was crying and begging for him to leave her alone, then I saw….” her voice broke for a moment and he could see the tears glistening in her eyes. “Its alright” he said, stopping the car at the side of the road and placing his arm around her, “You don’t have to tell me anymore”. “Its okay”, she said, “I’ll finish”.

“I saw her, head flipped backwards, it was unnatural. I heard her scream one last time and then silence, and then I heard his footsteps so I quickly backed myself up further against the wall so he wouldn’t see me. He had her in his arms, as he appeared, the thing that still makes me sick to my stomach, was the huge smile on his face. There was blood all over her, her white nightgown was drenched in blood, he laid her body on the floor and rested her arm and her head on the bottom step, it was as if, he wanted to make everyone think that she had simply fell down the stairs, at the time, I didn’t know how he was going to explain all the blood, I later found out she had been stabbed six times. He glared down at her lifeless body generally happy with what he had done, his smile was so evil. Then I heard him in the bathroom, the water was running as he cleaned himself up“.

“Though I had seen everything, or mostly everything, I had to act as if I hadn’t. I went into the upstairs bathroom and wet my face, then I walked back out to the top of the stairs, I saw the back of him as he walked into the living room to wipe down the fireplace. I closed my eyes and reopened them; it was at that moment that I let out a bloodcurdling scream. He took a few minutes to come back into the hallway, finally he rushed in in his coat, and he let car keys drop from his hand. Inside my blood was boiling, wondering what he was trying to pull. My scream had waken both Jarred and Angel up, they both came out of their rooms, I glanced back at Jarred and told him that he couldn’t let Angel see. He nodded and told Angel to go inside his room and that he would be there in a moment, she looked slightly confused, but obeyed us and went inside Jared’s room. He closed the door behind him, and then walked over to me. He saw what happened and his body went limp, he leaned up against the wall, I saw a mixture of emotions on his face and the unanswered question, which one of us was next.” Kinsey then stopped for another moment, as emotion took her over, James studied her face wondering if he should let her continue.

“We both watched him at the bottom of the stairs, fumbling for his cell phone and mutely dialing 911. The story he told the police was a bunch of bullshit, I knew because I had seen it, and Jarred knew even though he hadn’t, but he knew what kind of man our father was. We all sat in the kitchen, as our father told the police that he had been at work when this took place but our mother had been cheating, she was caught and he wanted a divorce, so she threatened to kill herself if he divorced her and she did. The police then questioned Jarred and I, Jarred couldn’t tell anything as he hadn’t seen anything, while the police were questioning him alone, my father gave me the look of death and asked to speak to me in the hallway, away from the ears of the officers. I was so scared, I didn’t want to go, but I got up and followed him into the hallway. The look on his face was horrible, his eyes shown pure evil. I just knew that he knew that I saw what he did; He grabbed me by my arm so hard that I yelped in pain and a huge bruise was there when he let go. He pulled me close to him and in a voice barely above a whisper said if I talked, then I was next. I silently walked back into the kitchen, the police began to question me, my father stood behind them glaring at me, I was terrified, so I didn’t say anything that would incriminate my father. Finally the police left, satisfied that she had killed herself but waiting for the autopsy report. That night was horrible, Jarred and I didn’t sleep at all but sat quietly talking in his room as Angel slept on his bed peacefully unaware that anything had taken place. That night Jarred and I decided we would drop Angel off at daycare as normal and then head to the police station, Jarred told me I had to tell what I had seen for our mother and he promised me he would protect me.

I sat in a small room with the two officers that were on duty that night and told my story, when They asked why I hadn’t spoken up that night, I could see the suspicion in their eyes, I told them that he had threatened my life. I was shaking, one of the officers left the room and the other stayed behind trying to calm me down, I confided that if he ever found out I was surely dead. The officer assured me that I would be fine. As Jarred and I were leaving the station, they were bringing my father in, in handcuffs. They yelled at him to keep his head down, but he turned his face to the side, his eyes met mine and he mouthed that I would regret this. He was in jail for 2 weeks before his trial, I was a witness but his lawyer argued that if what I said had really happened then I would have spoken up that night. The jury found him not guilty and I was placed under mental care, for let me quote the lawyer, “making up such horrible stories in my head”, when I was released from the hospital, I found the household in despair. Things were worse then ever, Jarred and I were forced to pretend that everything was completely normal and Angel became the sole target for all of his venting. One night, I heard her crying, I walked down the hallway from my room and went into the bathroom, standing in the door way, I saw my father push her head underwater, until she was no longer breathing. I was shocked, that he could do that to someone who couldn’t fight back. I ran into Jared’s room, he looked startled as I came in, I told him what I saw. He told me, that enough was enough, he said to go and pack some things and meet him back in his room, and so I did. We crawled out his window and down the ladder that leaned against the house, we ran to his friends house only two blocks away, his friend told us we could crash for the night. I couldn’t sleep at all, every time I heard a siren I thought it was for me. Jarred came up to me and sat next to me, he looked at me his eyes were bloodshot and I knew what he was going to say. “You’re leaving me with him aren’t you”, I said, shaking my head and wondering if this was the last time I was going to see him again. “No” he said sharply, grabbing my arm, “we’re leaving, tonight”, I was surprised, “where”. He looked into space for a moment, “Jimmy has a vacation home in Florida, we’re going to go there”, He got up and motioned for me to follow him.” Kinsey stopped the story for another breath, “But I thought…” James started but trailed off, Kinsey nodded, “I’m getting to that”.

“We were down in Florida for about a month, When I went to a local store one day and saw a picture of myself, a missing persons ad. I teared the thing off the wall, and looked at it for a moment but not truly believing it. I was so terrified that they would make me move back in with him, I was underage, 16 at the time. Jarred was 18, an adult, he wasn’t forced to stay there. I ran back to the house we were staying at, finding jarred in the kitchen, I threw the piece of paper down on the table. He glanced at it, and told me that our father knew where we were. I barely saw the phone in his hand, I shook my head, “Then we have to leave,” I cried out, “I won’t go back there, I won’t”, I was shaking, my entire body was shaking. A knock at the door scared us both, it was two police officers, they asked Jarred where I was, he said he didn’t know, I hid out in the laundry room. I knew it was over, so I gave up and walked over to the officers, they told me that my father missed me and I had to go with them. I tried to explain to them that I was dead if I went back but they said I didn’t have a choice, as I was underage. Jarred and I looked at each other hopelessly, we asked for a moment to say goodbye, the officers refused to leave the room but stepped aside. Jarred breathed in deep, I saw the tears in his eyes, one exscapped and slowly made its way down his cheek. He said, “Carissa, I love you, I promise I will come back for you, the day you turn 18, I will come back for you”. I closed my eyes for a moment, I knew he would make good on that promise, “If I live that long, do you not think that he won’t kill me, just like he did mom, Just like he did angel” I replied. My body shook as I gave him one last hug, he walked me out to the police car and stood at the curb as the car pulled away, I cried all the way to the police station, somehow I knew I would never see my brother again. My father was waiting at the station, he put up such a good act in front of the officers, but once we were alone He dug his fingers into my arm and told me, that I would pay for all the trouble that I had caused.”

“Things didn’t get any better only worse, days before I turned 18, I hoped that my brother would make good on the promise but I wasn’t positive, I thought maybe he would forget about me and start his life over. I was dating a guy at the time that was a step up from my father but not by much, he was controlling and abusive to me, I tried to kill myself so many times in so many ways. Because of my home situation I couldn’t hold a normal job, I wasn’t normal, People scared me, guys scared me the most. The day I turned 18, I stood at my open window for the better part of the day, waiting for Jarred, he never came. I was okay with the fact that he didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, I didn’t have to stay there, I could leave, I was finally free. So I packed some things and went to leave, but my father stopped me and I knew it was either him or me. I had struggled with the abuse for to long, it wasn’t going to be me, when he placed the gun to my head, I knew I had to get it away from him, I didn’t plan on killing him, I didn’t want to turn out like him, I just wanted to be able to leave and he wasn’t going to let me leave, so I did what I had to do. I just meant to scared him, when I picked up the gun, I was just going to go, but then he said I didn’t have the balls to shoot him, and it just triggered something inside of me, it angered me, I didn’t know what came over me, one minute the gun was pointed at him and the next, it was on the ground, my father lay motionless, blood pouring from his open mouth and his eyes blank. It was then I knew it was finally over, I should have just grabbed my things and left then but I made a mistake and called my boyfriend, Mike to come over. He came over, with the police, the police assumed suicide right off of the bad, it’s a small town, everyone knew about my mother and sister. I didn’t correct them, but still I ended up in a mental institution for about a year. Mike and I were married at that point, while I was in the institution Mike was in a horrible car accident and passed away. After that, I legally changed my name to Kelsey Kelly and here I am” Kinsey finished her story, and looked into James eyes. “The only thing I want right now, is to see my brother”, “Please take me to see my brother”. James nodded and started the car.

Chapter 13

         They had been driving in silence for 2 hours when Kinsey turned to him, “Thank you for following me from the club, I’m sorry” she blurted out. James was a bit taken back, even more so then he had been when they were arguing, “You have nothing to be sorry about” he stated, reaching for her hand. She looked at him for a moment and looked away, he sighed deeply before pulling the car off the highway to a rest stop.

After he parked the car, he shut of the engine and turned to face her. She was staring straight ahead out the windshield, not saying a word, not looking at anything, just staring. "Kinsey" he said quietly watching her, he reached out and touched her arm but she shrugged his hand off and pulled her arm out of his reach. He breathed in deep and leaned back in his seat, He focused his attention on the blowing branches of the small trees in the wind. After a few moments, he glanced in her direction again and saw her eyes shown with tears, she quickly closed them, turned her head and wiped the tears away.

He reached for her hand again, she didn't pull away this time, but she didn't make any move to communicate with him either. She continued to face the window, her eyes were still closed, he noticed. Finally she turned to face him and held is glaze for a moment with her eyes, he reached his free hand up and brushed her tears away. She took a breath before she started to speak, “Why did you come back to NC, You called me a psycho before you left…. Those were your words, so why did you come to see me? Why?” She finally blurted out. She waited for him to speak but no words came, so finally she turned away from him. He started the car, pulled out of the rest stop and back on to the thruway.

Chapter 14

         They sat in the car together outside a two-story house on a quiet suburban street; Kinsey glanced down at the tiny scrap of paper in her hand and then up at the house’s address making sure they had the right house. She closed her eyes for a moment remembering the last time she had seen her brother and how hard it was for her to leave him, How hard it must have been on him. She breathed in deep as if to prepare herself emotionally to seeing him again. James gently reached over and touched her arm, “are you positive you want to just go and see him, are you sure you wouldn’t rather call first?” he asked her. She shook her head, “Calling him first would be to hard for me, I need to see him face to face, there’s way to much to say for a phone call, its been to long” she said quietly.

She slowly opened the car door and got out, She glanced back at James to make sure he was behind her; He held her glaze for a moment and then made his way over to her. “Are you ready?” he asked her, she nodded, and then together they made their way up the steps to the house. For a moment all she could do was stare at the doorbell, she breathed in deeply, quickly reminding herself that this is what she wanted and that it was now or never. Slowly she reached out her hand a pressed the doorbell quickly twice, a voice from inside the house yelled “I’m coming” and then a few minutes later the door swung open, Kinsey simply started at the women with two small children standing shyly behind her. “May I help you?” the women finally asked, she had a look of surprise on her face as she said this. James glanced at Kinsey who seemed frozen in place, he nudged her, nothing…. After a moment, he decided he better speak up or this well dressed women would think they were nuts, He took a deep breath before asking if Jarred Davidson was available. The women glanced towards the kitchen and said “Yes, just a moment”; she turned and walked to the kitchen calling out his name as the youngest, of the two children trailed after her. The oldest child still stood at the open doorway, looking at Kinsey with a curious look; finally he spoke up, “How do you know my daddy?”. Kinsey looked down at the small child who appeared to be 5 or 6, a sad smile crossed her face, “He’s my older brother” she quietly stated, the child didn’t have a chance to reply as Jarred had walked up at the moment. “Whom are you talking to, Chris?” he asked, while picking the child up. Kinsey just stared at her older brother in awe, she realized after a moment that he didn’t recognize her and she couldn’t get the words out. The child looked to Kinsey and back to his father, “your sister” the child answered. Jarred gasped out loud, “Carissa?” He asked, “Carissa, is that you?” all Kinsey could do was nod, she breathed in deep, “I go by Kinsey now, but yes it’s me, Carissa” she said as tears began to form in her eyes, she quickly blinked them away.

The women who had answered the door, walked up with a young girl who appeared to be about 2 or 3 in her arms, “who is it dear?” she asked. “It’s, my younger sister,” he answered; the women looked a mixture of shock and sadness. The 4 of them stood at the door unsure of what to do next, finally the women invited them inside to the den. Kinsey and James’ followed the women and Jarred, as well as their children into the den and took seats next to each other on the loveseat. After they were settled, Jarred started to introduce the women and the two children, the women was introduced as Melody and the two children as Chris age 5, and Carissa age 2. Kinsey looked up into Jared’s eyes, “You named your daughter after me?” she asked after a moment, He nodded, not saying a word.

Melody broke the silence and offered everyone a cup of coffee, they all nodded in agreement, before she left the room she gently placed Carissa down on the play mat that sat in front of Kinsey. Kinsey looked down at the small child before her and offered a tiny smile; the child broke out in a huge toothless grin and used Kinsey leg as a leverage to lift herself up into a standing position, which she did successfully on the first try. She lifted her arms as if asking Kinsey to pick her up, Kinsey picked the child up and placed her on her lap. The child leaned her body back against Kinsey’s body and slowly closed her eyes; soon she fell into a deep sleep. Melody emerged from the kitchen with two steaming hot cups of coffee, she handed one to James’ and placed the other one on the end table beside Kinsey, she noticed her daughter Carissa passed out in Kinsey’s arms and she approached to pick the child up, Kinsey shook her head no and told Melody that she was alright. Melody looked at her strangely and nodded her head as she disappeared back into the kitchen, asking Jarred to follow her. Jarred excused himself and followed his wife.

Kinsey and James’ looked at each other as Jarred and Melody’s voices could be heard from the kitchen, They seemed to be arguing and Kinsey’s eye’s became terrified at a distant memory that seemed to have come back to her at the sound of her brother and his wife’s loud voices. Kinsey strained to listen to the loud conversation that was going on a few rooms away, she made out Melody asking how the two of them had acquired their address and Jarred explaining, that Kinsey had done an internet search, and that he had spoken to her a few months earlier. Melody’s angry voice rose a bit as she asked why he had neglected to tell her that he had spoken to Kinsey, “you should have told me, that way I could have prepared for this” she shrieked at her husband in a shrill manner, “Melody she’s my sister, a sister that I haven’t seen in 7 years, a sister that witnessed not only the murder of our mother but the murder of our younger sister, a sister that I couldn’t save from our fathers abuse. And, you expect me to shut her out now” he yelled at her, Melody could only shake her head but said in a voice barely above a whisper, “You promised, You promised when our daughter was born if I let you, name her Carissa, you would let your past go, you would let it die”, Jarred was quiet for a couple of minutes, “That was before I spoke to her and knew she was alive, she needs to know the truth about the day she turned 18, I can not let my past rest until she knows that I didn’t abandon her, that I did come back for her” he finally stated, That was the last thing that could be heard clearly coming from the direction of the kitchen, Kinsey closed her eyes and breathed in deep, “so he did come, he did come to save me, but what happened?” she wondered, out loud.

Kinsey didn’t get to find out the answer to her long awaited question, soon after the arguments stopped Jarred emerged from the kitchen, and asked Kinsey and James’ if they could continue this reunion that night at a restaurant that he was a manager at. James nodded and stood up, Jarred gently picked up Carissa from Kinsey’s lap, the child didn’t stir as he moved her to the play mat on the floor and laid her down. Kinsey stood up, and her and Jarred shared a quick hug, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Melody in the kitchen doorway staring at her with such hatred. She shut her eyes and opened them again, she glanced towards the doorway, Melody was gone, thoughts of her long dead father invaded her head, she quickly pushed the thoughts away and decided that she had an overactive imagination.

As James and Kinsey walked back to the car, the address to the restaurant placed securely in Kinsey’s pocket, she patted her pocket gently making sure the piece of paper was in there, before she sat in the car and shut the door. James got in beside her, “what’s wrong?” he asked looking at her, before starting the car and pulling out onto the street. Kinsey shook her head, “I just got the feeling that Melody is mad that we showed up here today, I don’t know, maybe im imagining things” she said, James looked at her and shook his head, “I got the same impression” he said after a moment, “But look on the bright side, at least now you know that he did come back for you that day, you just need to find out what stopped him” he said sharing a smile with her.

“Well what do you want to do? we have about 4 hours to kill before our meeting” James asked, “Lets go to your parents house” Kinsey stated bluntly. James looked at her and then replied with “Alright”. They drove the hour drive to his parents house and pulled into their driveway that was packed with two cars, one of them being his parents car that they shared and the other being his cousins car, she had gotten her license two weeks earlier and had been awarded with a used car for perfect attendance at school. Kinsey took a deep breath before exiting the car and following James’ up the steps to his parents house, he slowly opened the door and motioned Kinsey to come inside, she simply shook her head, “what, scared?” James asked. Kinsey nodded, feeling stupid. “They know, they know that you’re with me,” he said, “so come on” he took her hand and started walking toward the living room where his mom and his cousin Karen sat watching a program on the TV. “Where’s dad?” James asked as his mom looked up when they came into the room, “At work” Karen piped up before turning her attention back to the program. “Then why is the car here?” he asked, sitting down on the couch besides Karen and pulling Kinsey down next to him. “His friend picked him up, in case I needed the car” his mom stated, “so what are you guy doing here?” she asked, directing her attention towards Kinsey. “We just came back from seeing my brother” she said, with not much emotion, James nodded, “we’re meeting him at this restaurant in a few hours” he said.