Is It Worth It?

i ask myself:
is it worth it?
putting myself through so much trouble
just to help a friend?
spending so much time
advising and listening to you?
wake up in the middle of the night
to my ringing phone;
picking it up just to hear you
complaining once again about how
people seem to hate you left and right?

is it worth it?
i help you out of problems
time and again,
never complaining, always the silent,
strong structure of the friendship.
it's never about me,
but, hey, i never minded before,
why expect me to mind anytime soon?
i am, after all, taken for granted.

but, sometimes
i can't help but ask:
is it worth it?
keeping this one-sided friendship?
who can i turn to
when i'm in trouble?
when i'm in sorrow?
when i'm in pain?
certainly, not you,
for you will be too wrapped up
in your own world to care;
so i take the burden
and suffer it alone.

can you imagine,
the arrows of poison
that strike through my heart
when you don't care?
can you imagine,
the pain and frustration
when you say, "did i really do that??"
again, can you imagine,
the anger that wells up
when you repeat your mistakes
over and over again
even after so much blasting?
can you imagine,
the gigantuan amount
of self control,
required to abstain
from knocking you over
and giving you a bloody nose
everytime you act
ass-holey??

yet
i put up with you,
we all do;
and you want to know why?
it's because we treasure you,
we love you;
we don't want to lose a friend.
we worry about you,
we care about you,
and we are loyal to you!

you don't seem to know all this;
are you oblivious to it all?
are you reallt that blind,
deaf, and dumb?
you certainly make out to be so.
and we never get tired of it all,
always just hanging in there
always just ready to lend a listening ear,
a helping hand...
i wonder why we do it?

YOU insensitive fool,
learn to treasure your friends!
keep them close,
honour them,
respect them,
care for them,
before they stop caring for you!

for when you say:
"aren't i a good actor?"
i realise that
maybe it isn't worth it after all,
all the things i've done,
everything i've sacrificed;
for suddenly i feel,
that i hate you.
i hate you, i hate you, i hate you.

but...
do i really?