Moving On- part one

The water lapped gently against the tiled edges of the pool, slightly disturbed by change in pressure caused by the open door. I watched from my lofty position as a tall blonde haired boy walked into the pool room. He came over to the base of the high dive and looked up at me.

“Ashley said you were in here.” He said to me.

“Did she now? Hmm I must have a chat with her about the meaning of the words, ‘Don’t tell Jordan where I am,’” I remarked dryly.

He shook his beautiful blonde head and he climbed up the ladder. Jordan settled himself behind me and straddled the board. With a sigh I leaned back against his chest and crossed my legs.

“And why would you not want me to know where you were?” he asked softly, resting his cheek on the top of my head and wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Because I was thinking.” I replied, just as softly.

“About?” he questioned

“What day it is.”

“Erm…Saturday?”

“No it’s the 20th of April” I clarified. Jordan lapsed into silence and I knew he was thinking about why I would be thinking about the 20th after a moment it dawned on him.

“Oh babe.” He whispered, burying his face into my shoulder. He hugged me close and kissed my neck softly.

I nodded and snuggled deeper into his arms.

“I thought you said you were past all of it.” He whispered to me after a few minutes of silence.

“I am. But just because I’m past it doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.” I replied simply, returning to my thoughts. Six years ago today had been the worst day of my life. I had been raped and on the way to the hospital my parents and little brother had died in a car accident.

It really had all started after Jordan had left for collage. He and I had dated since seventh grade but all of a sudden, right after we graduated high school, Jordan was accepted to a collage in Washington D.C. and he had just picked up and left without saying goodbye, leaving me heartbroken and confused. At that point I began dating an old friend of mine named Robert Andrews who I had known through out high school.

Nearly a month later I was in D.C. on a weekend vacation with my friends and I ran into Jordan. We talked over lunch and he had apologized and explained his actions. We renewed our relationship as ‘just friends’ and he later became my sole confidant in the darks days I suffered under the abusive hell of being Robert’s girlfriend.

In the beginning Robert had only abused me verbally by telling me that I was such a horrible girlfriend that even the boy I had dated for 6 years didn’t want to speak to me or calling me horrible names. As the days went by Robert’s abuse had steadily gotten worse and six or seven months into the relationship he forced me to quit my club swimming team because I couldn’t conceal the bruises he left on me in a bathing suit. My friends had asked and asked what was wrong and one of my friends, Ashley, had even seen Robert hit me once, I found out from her later.

But Robert had always threatened and made me swear not to ever tell anyone the entire time. He told me he would always find out. He had me so terrified and so brainwashed that I actually began to believe what he was telling me. I believed that no one really cared about me and no one would help me even if I did tell someone.

But that all changed nearly eight months later when I ran into Jordan again when he was in town visiting his parents for Christmas Break. I was out running errands that Robert had sent me on and I had sat down and had lunch with him. As we were eating I relaxed for the first time in ages and without thinking I had pushed the sleeves of the baggy sweatshirt I wore to cover up the bruises, up past my elbows to get them out of the way. Jordan of course instantly started asking questions and gradually, slowly, and tearfully the story came out. I swore Jordan to total secrecy and he agreed only on the condition that I would figure out soon how to end the relationship.

I had never left Robert because I had been so afraid of how violent he would get when I told him. Although Jordan had sworn not to tell anyone I think he told my two best friends that something was wrong. Three weeks later they began to ask questions and after a few months Ashley and Nicole finally pried the truth out of me and together they convinced me to end it. The break up had been nasty, and there was more that just yelling and screaming. I had had bruises on my face, torso, and arms for weeks afterward because of it. While we were fighting I managed to break a vase over his head and I ran to my car and drove away. As I was driving I called Jordan and told him what had happened and I asked him to fly back home for a few days and stay with me because he was the only guy I truly trusted at the time.

A few days later I returned to the apartment to collect my things and take them to Ashley's house where I was staying. Robert begged me to take him back, he swore he would change. When I refused, he shoved me into the open trunk of my car as I was putting boxes inside it and drove away.

After he raped me he had left me bound and gagged in the woods near the neighborhood and told me he was leaving the country. I laid there in the forest all night and most of the next day until searchers came and found me. Ashley had been expecting me to come straight back to her house with all my stuff and I never did so. After calling Robert’s house and receiving no answer, she had called the police and my parents. I was rushed to the hospital and while I was lying in the recovery ward Ashley and Nicole had come rushing in. A few minutes after that a nurse had poked her head in and told me that there was a “tall, blonde haired, young man wanting to see me.”

Nicole left to go see who it was and when she came back she was leading Jordan behind her. He told us that his mother had called him and told him that I was on the news and he came straight over to the hospital from Ashley’s where he had been waiting for me.

Nearly an hour later the nurse had walked back into the room and asked my friends to leave because she had some personal information to discuss with me about my family. I had refuse to let my friends leave and clutched especially at Jordan's hand.

I could still remember the feeling I got when the nurse had said the words, “There’s been an accident involving your parents.”

As she explained a sort of deadness had crept into me and it erased everything I was feeling, the pain, the shock, everything. All my rolling emotions from the past few days were gone. I had just sat there staring at the wall for nearly three days; I didn’t eat, or talk, or even sleep. Jordan told me later that they had had to hook me up to an IV system to feed my body. But I had felt nothing, only the deadness within me.

After I was released from the hospital I moved into Ashley’s house and Jordan transferred collages to be with me.  For the first few months I really could not remember who had done it or what had happened, just because of the shock. But then the police started asking questions and putting the pieces together and the top suspect was Robert solely because of the information that Ashley, Nicole, and Jordan provided and because of the situation. With a lot of help and support from my friends I managed to work out what happened and tell my part of the story. The only problem was that, by now, Robert had disappeared.

After my family’s funeral and after I had sold their house and sorted everything out, I tried to let my life return back to the way it was before Robert. But it was hard. It took me two years to get back into some semblance of normal.

It would have taken longer if Jordan and I hadn’t started dating again about six months after “the incident” as we refer to it now. He was there when I woke up in the middle of the night sweating and crying from my latest nightmare. He was there when I started going back to school and everybody wanted to know what happened. He was there when I broke down in the middle of a crowd of news reporters trying to talk to me.

But most importantly I he helped me conquer my fear’s. Every time around the house or out on public when Jordan got mad or I did something wrong, or did what I had been “trained” to think was wrong, in front of him, my body would react the way Robert had “trained” me to react to it; I would freeze where I was and drop my head and just stand there expecting a blow to come or a word to slip out of his mouth. But Jordan would never dream of doing anything Robert ever did. Every time it happened he would gather me into his arms and hold me. Jordan slowly helped me get rid of those fears, those instincts from the two long and hellish years I had spent with Robert.   

Slowly my thoughts trailed off from what had actually happened six years ago and I just sat there with Jordan listening to and loosing myself in the sound of the water. With a sigh I shook myself out of my reverie and looked at my watch, we had been sitting in silence for nearly an hour. Turning my neck I brushed my lips against Jordan’s cheek. He grinned and tilted his head to capture my lips with his.  I slid my hand gently up his face and deepened the kiss. After a moment we broke apart and I looked up at him.

“Common, lets go home love.” He said to me, kissing my nose and standing up.

I took his offered hand and followed him off the diving board. “Did Ashley drop you off?” I asked, entwining my fingers in his.

“Yup.”

“Hmm I wonder how you’ll get home then” I taunted playfully, walking backwards out of the natatorium as I grabbed his other hand and pulled him to me.

“Well I can think of a certain someone who will give me a ride.” He replied in an off-hand tone, pulling out his cell phone. “I’ll call them, you go on home love.”  He kissed me again and pushed me toward my car. I laughed and played along; I had a pretty good idea of who he was calling.

“Ok see you at home.”  I called to him waving. He waved back and put his phone to his ear. I slid into my car and started the engine as my cell phone started ringing. Laughing I flipped open the phone “Hello?”

“Hey baby can you give me a ride home?” Jordan’s voice said.

“Umm depends, where are you?” I asked, pulling out of my parking spot.

“I’m at the pool.”

“Ok sure I’ll be right there.” I shut my phone and drove around to where he was standing on the curb.

He reached down and opened the door. “Thanks for getting here so fast baby.”

“No problem. I was in the area.” I replied, flashing him a smile and a laugh. “Dork.”

“Do you want to go for lunch?” Jordan asked as I pulled onto Main Street.

I was about to answer but a hauntingly familiar voice spoke up behind Jordan’s seat.
“Let’s not shall we?” said the voice as a gloved hand pressed a gun to the side of Jordan's neck.

I jumped so hard I almost swerved off the road. That voice, it was so familiar and it sent the just as familiar chill of absolute fear down my spine. But it couldn’t be him, my mind screamed, not today, not now. I chanced a glance in the review mirror but the stranger had a mask on.

“Just drive Alexi.” The voice said, sending another chill down my spine and raising the little hairs on the back of my neck in fear. It had been a long time since I had felt this fear but my body still remembered.

“Robert?” I questioned weakly barely getting the word out, my fingers white-knuckling on the steering wheel “Is that you?”

“DRIVE.” He roared, pressing the gun harder against Jordan's neck.

With an absolutely terrified glance at Jordan, I nodded and concentrated on the road, my heart was beating like crazy. This couldn’t be happening; I looked in the review mirror again just to confirm with myself that it was real. We had all thought Robert was gone for good; that he was gone forever.

But now he was back.

~*~

“Take a left here.” Robert’s voice broke into my thoughts and I nodded, numbly complying. I saw Jordan's hands flashing out letters in sign language out of the corner of my eye and I watched him.

‘Is it really him?’ he spelled out; he didn’t want to use the normal hand gestures since they required too much movement of his hands.
   
I nodded my head slightly tightening my hands even tighter on the steering wheel to keep my fingers from shaking with fear. Even though the stranger had a mask on, I was one million percent sure of who was hiding under it. And that knowledge scared me to the point that I was about to start crying. There was nothing else in the world that could make me react like I was, to bring back the deep feeling of absolute fear that I had thought, that I had hoped, was long gone.

Robert directed me to a road that led to the edge of the forest he had left me in six years ago. There was a gate blocking the entrance, the police had blocked it off after what had happened to me there.

“Get out and open it. Don’t even think about trying anything or I’ll shoot your friend.” Robert growled at me.

I shoved open my door and shakily walked over to the gate. Every bone in my body was screaming at me to run, but I couldn’t, I wouldn’t leave Jordan. With a heavy heart, I lifted the gate lock and pushed the gate off the road. Walking back to my car I got in and drove down the road a little ways then I got out again and closed it. As I slid back into the driver’s seat Robert switched the gun from Jordan to me and I froze, petrified.

“Keep driving Alexi. I just want your complete attention and how can you give me that when half of it is on Blondie over there?” he whispered huskily, as he ran a finger up my neck and behind my ear.

“Last I remember you have blonde hair as well Robert.” I bit out through gritted teeth, struggling to ignore the fear in my body that was screaming at me to run, to hide, to do anything I had to, to get away.

The gun barrel pressed harder into the side of my head and Robert growled, “Drive.”

I gunned the engine of the mustang and shot off down the path hoping to unbalance him but he wrapped his arm around my neck in a strangle hold.

“Slow down Alexi, you wouldn’t want to get in a car accident like your parents did now would you?” Robert whispered in my ear and I instantly slowed the car. It seemed that Robert still knew exactly what to say to get under my skin and mess with my emotions.

I drove deep into the forest following all the twists and turns until I was hopelessly lost. Under Robert’s directions, I finally turned into what looked to be an old driveway. I drove up the driveway and slowly pulled up in front the house. It looked like an old barn house with a huge wraparound porch.   

“Stop the car, take the keys out of the ignition and give them to me, then put your hands on the headrest and don’t move.” Robert instructed, tightening his arm around my neck.

I was struggling to draw breath and I slowly complied. Robert took the keys and let go of my neck. I gulped in air and Jordan cast a concerned glance at me but he didn’t move because of the gun Robert was again pointing at him. “Now it’s your turn Blondie. Put your hands on the headrest.”

Jordan glared at Robert for a fraction of a second and then he slowly moved his hands up until they mirrored mine.

Robert slid out of the car and opened my door, still pointing the gun at me and Jordan. He jerked me out of the car and aimed the gun just below my ear. “Ok then Blondie, get out slowly and put your hands on your head. Don’t even do as much as think about running.”

Jordan did so, still glaring at Robert the entire time. “I’m not going anywhere. I don’t leave the women I love all alone in the middle of the woods.” Jordan spat at Robert.

Robert apparently did not like the comment.

“Shut up and walk.” He yelled at him, pointing with the gun toward the side of the house.

Robert directed Jordan around the house and we found a door set into the ground like the doors to a cellar. Jordan heaved open the door and Robert shoved him from behind causing him to fall down the seven or eight stairs and disappear into the darkness.

“Jordan!” I screamed, I would have gone to him but Robert held me back.

“That is Jordan?” he asked spinning me around and shoving me to the ground, “That is the bastard who you dated all through high school and then he left your sorry ass all alone to go to collage?” I heard Jordan yell but Robert pulled the door shut and slammed the locking board in place. “Is he your boyfriend again Alexi? Is he the boyfriend you couldn’t find in me?” he snarled, walking toward me.

I was scared by the ferocious look in his eyes and I backed away from him on my elbows. He tore off his mask and I saw that I had been right, it was Robert. The boyish features I remembered so well were contorted with rage, an unusual show of emotion for him. The Robert I was used to almost never showed emotion.

I didn’t know if I should answer but Robert took my silence as a yes. He reached down and grabbed me by the throat and jerked me up off the ground. My eyes went wide and my hands flew to his and I struggled for breath.

“What does he have that I don’t Alexi? You wouldn’t take me back after you said I hurt you, why did you take him back? You told me he hurt you.” He growled at me. When I didn’t answer he shook me, “WHY?” he yelled.

I gasped for air and sank my nails into the underside of his wrist. He gasped in pain and dropped me to the ground. I didn’t even have the breath or time to run. I lay there gasping for about a second and then he grabbed me again, this time by my right arm. I winced as he jerked me up off the ground and my shoulder strongly protested the motion. In one of our worse fights, Robert had actually stabbed my shoulder with a knife and, despite two surgeries; it still wasn’t at its best. Unfortunately Robert noticed this.

His lips curled in a feral sneer, “The shoulder still hurts then Alexi?” he asked me in a mocking voice while shaking my arm, sending shooting pains through my shoulder. I hissed in air and shut my eyes.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He whispered in my ear, raising me a little higher off the ground.

“Robert let go, please let go.” I whimpered in pain, the way he was holding my arm and the weight he was stressing it with hurt and hurt badly. But he knew that and he knew exactly how to hurt me.

Robert threw me against the cellar door and yelled again, “What does he have that I don’t? What did he do that made you want to take him back that I didn’t?”

“He loved me.” I screamed back, finally answering him, “And he still loves me.”

Robert stormed up to me as he pulled a knife from his belt. He held it in my face and I scrambled back up the door away from him until my shoulders hit the wall of the house. He slid the knife under my chin forcing me to tilt my head up to look at him.

“I love you.” He hissed and then he forced his lips on mine.

I didn’t dare to move for a moment because of the knife that was now resting against my collarbone but I twisted my head away and smashed it into the side of his head. He staggered back but the knife slid from my collarbone to my shoulder, leaving a shallow but painful cut. I gasped and my right hand flew to the wound.

Robert came back to me and jerked me off the door by my right arm. He pulled open the door and threw me down the stairs into the dark. I hit the ground hard and rolled over.

“We’ll talk later Alexi.” Robert said and then he shut the door, trapping me in the darkness.

~*~

Before I could move two pairs of hands closed around my arms and I screamed and struggled to get away. But the hands held fast and picked me up off the ground. I kicked and thrashed but one of the hands punched me viciously in the stomach and I stopped, allowing them to drag me down the hallway. We stopped and the hands holding my left arm vanished and I heard a door open. The hands on my right arm shoved me forward and I heard the door close behind me.

I stumbled into the room and whirled around. Slowly I backed up a few steps and suddenly I hit something warm and I screamed and turned around again.

“Who’s there?” a voice asked.

“Jordan?” I asked tentatively

“Alexi?”

“Oh, Jordan thank god you're here!” I exclaimed falling into his arms. He held me tight and I struggled to calm down and stop crying at the same time.

“Are you hurt?” he asked softly, sitting me down and wrapping am arm around me.

I was about to answer but something above us clanged loudly and suddenly the room was flooded with light. I blinked at the sudden shift but as soon as the light had come it was gone. But as the spots in my vision cleared I saw that I could faintly make out my boyfriend sitting next to me. “What was that?” I whispered scooting as close to Jordan as I could.

“I don’t know.” He whispered back, “But what happened to your shirt? It looks torn.” He asked reaching up to poke at the rip Robert’s knife had created. When he touched it I flinched and he gasped, pulling away a bloody finger. “Alexi what happened?” he asked as he slid his t-shirt off and pressed it to the cut.

“I…he…” I searched for the words that wouldn’t come.

“Shh...its ok…its ok love...I’m here…take a deep breath and tell me what happened.” Jordan soothed, brushing my bangs out of my eyes and wiping the tears off my cheeks.

“After he shut the door on you we argued and he threw me on top of the door and pinned me there with a knife and kissed me.” I explained slowly, watching him to gauge his reaction. Jordan said nothing and motioned for me to continue. “So I twisted my head away and head butted him and when he moved away the knife grazed my collarbone and shoulder.”

Jordan's face hardened and I dropped my eyes afraid of what he would do; old reactions resurfacing from when I dated Robert. Every time that look had been on his face I knew something was going to happen to me.

Jordan was silent for a moment then he leaned forward and tilted my head up to look at him. I flinched when he touched me and Jordan’s hand froze, I hadn’t flinched from his touch in years.

My hand flew up to touch his and I pressed it to my cheek, meeting his eyes again. “I…Jordan I’m sorry I don’t know why that happened.” I apologized quickly.

“I do, and I think I saw this coming.” He replied sadly, dropping his hand from my face and entwining my fingers in his, pulling me closer to him. Then he kissed me, lightly at first, then more intimately, it was so much gentler that Robert, so much more wonderful. After about a minute we broke apart and I opened my mouth to talk but he put a finger to my lips to shush me.

“It’s because you’re still afraid. In reality I don’t think you’ve ever fully healed. He taught you to fear and obey him. And after almost two years of abuse that won’t just leave you. It is still with you today, I can see it in your eyes. Right now even is a perfect example. When you told me that Robert kissed you deep down you were afraid I would get mad and strike you as he would have if you had told him a thing like that.” He replied, shifting his position so he could hold me and still keep his shirt pressed to my chest. “But if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a million times; I will never ever be like him. Never. Baby I love you so much that you’ll probably never understand. Without you, life is worthless and I don’t think I’d want to live it without you.”

“Will you always love me no matter what?” I asked him as tear leaked out of my eye, followed by another and another.

“Always.” Jordan said without hesitation, wiping my tears away.

“I love you Jordan I really do.” I whispered kissing his fingers; I could taste the salt from my tears on my lips.

“And I love you baby.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair like he always did when he was trying to decide something. He opened his mouth to speak but suddenly the outline of the door behind me was clearly illuminated. Someone must have turned on a light out in the hallway.

Jordan pulled me to my feet and over next to the door. “Shhh I have an idea,” he whispered to me pushing me down next to him. I nodded and squeezed his hand. We could hear voices it the hall followed the jingle of a key ring. The lock on the door turned and the door swung open without a sound. A beam of light shone into the room and Jordan pressed me closer behind him.

“Where are they?” I heard Robert’s voice ask. Jordan’s hand tightened around mine and we both tensed.

“I don’t know. We put them both in here.” Another voice said and a foot appeared through the doorway.

“Wait!” Robert called and the foot disappeared. Everything was silent, I could hear my heart beating in my ears and I felt like they were going to hear it too. After what felt like an eternity Robert spoke again.

“Alexi I know you’re in there, and I know you’re scared.”

The shadow of a man filled the doorway and Jordan looked at me and pointed to the door, “You…door” he mouthed, “Me…Robert”

I nodded and as Robert took a step into the room Jordan launched himself at Robert and I slammed the door shut. Apparently the door had an automatic locking mechanism because the guys still outside the room were yelling for keys, but Robert had them. So I left the door and ran over to Jordan and Robert who were fighting on the ground. Robert had Jordan pinned and was punching him in the face. Jordan twisted his feet and flipped Robert over him and into the wall.

“Stay back Alexi.” Jordan yelled, pushing me behind him. He walked over to Robert and hauled him to his feet by his shirt and punched him across the face, pinning him to the wall with a hand.

“Stay the hell away from my girlfriend.” He growled at Robert. Jordan had good five or six inches on Robert and he was pressing his advantage.

Robert wretched Jordan's hand off of him and spat, “You don’t deserve her.”

“Oh and you’re telling me she deserves a guy who beats the shit out of her every time you’re alone together?” Jordan roared back. The two men were circling each other and Jordan kept pushing me around behind him, shielding me from view.

“You were never there when she needed a friend or when she was upset. You don’t know anything about what happened between us. You had your chance to be with her and you broke her heart when you just left for collage with out saying goodbye. She doesn’t deserve that.” Robert yelled.

That infuriated the hell out of me and I knew it hit hard with Jordan. I stormed out from behind him, ducking under his arm, “You are such a fucking bastard Robert.” I yelled. “You think you know everything about me, you pretend to be the guy who was always there but you weren’t. You were some arrogant, abusive, jerk who couldn’t understand the words, I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

Robert backhanded me across the face so hard I fell to the floor. Jordan let out an enraged yell and tackled Robert just as the door swung open. I scrambled to my feet as four men ran into the room. Three out of the four pulled Jordan and Robert apart and pinned Jordan face down on the ground punching him repeatedly in the ribs to subdue him.

The fourth guy came at me and I balled my fists. Thinking back to the self-defense lessons I had taken after Robert had left, I widened my stance and waited.

“Aww is the pretty girl gonna hit me?” the guy jeered.

“Try me.” I spat at him.

He rushed forward and I sprang up and kicked him across the face. He staggered away and I landed lightly on the balls of my feet. The guy looked at me venomously.

“Ok no more games girl.” He snarled as he rushed me again. Turning, I grabbed his arm, twisting it around and pinning it behind his back. He tilted forward and I rolled over his back and landed in front of him. I jumped up and smashed him in the chin with my knee, snapping his head back and sending him crashing to the floor, out cold.

Another guy moved forward to try and take me but Robert stopped him. I stood uncertainly, still in defensive mode but I watched him. Jordan was pinned on his knees by two guys, one on either side of him. His head was down and his breathing was ragged. Robert gripped a handful of his hair and wretched his head up.

“Stop fighting or I’ll slit his throat.” He told me, taking a knife and sliding it beneath Jordan's chin. I froze, unsure of what to do.

“Alexi don’t….” Jordan said before Robert kicked him hard in the stomach. Jordan gasped and doubled over but Robert wretched him up again.

“Shall I do that again?” Robert asked me. I hesitated for half a second and Robert did it again. Jordan groaned and doubled over. Robert let him stay that way and he looked at me. “Again?” he asked me with a sneer.

“No. Please don’t.” I said dejectedly, dropping my hands. Jordan's body jerked and he straightened up again.

“Good then come here.” Robert said putting his knife back and motioning to me with his hand. I looked at Jordan and he shook his head slightly, “NO” he mouthed to me, “run.”

“I can’t Jordan, I can’t. I’m sorry.” I said almost crying. I took half a step forward and Robert grabbed my arm and twisted it behind me.

“That’s a good girl,” he crooned mockingly as he pulled me against him so my back was resting against his chest. With his free hand he grabbed my chin, forcing my head up towards him. I flinched and tried to escape from what I knew was coming but it was no good.

Robert kissed me again and I tried to pull away but he had me pinned. I could hear Jordan struggling next to me but I couldn’t do anything. I could feel Robert’s tongue trying to gain entrance to my mouth but I stoically kept it shut. The hand that encircled my wrist twisted and I cried out, involuntarily opening my mouth, allowing Robert to slide his tongue in. I whimpered and squirmed away from him, pushing with my free hand against his.   

Our lips came apart I jerked my face away and I locked eyes with Jordan. He was jerking and struggling against his captors, trying to get to me. When I looked at him he froze. I mouthed ‘I’m sorry.’ He shook his head with a slight smile but he didn’t reply.

Robert’s hand encircled my waist and he pulled me back closer to him, resting his chin just above my left shoulder. “You used to be such a good kisser Alexi. What happened?” he whispered, just loud enough so Jordan could hear; which I could tell he did because he jerked against his captors again.

“What can I say Robert? I’ve changed since you saw me last.” I replied icily. I had just about had enough if Robert’s little game.

I tilted my head to the right and, for the second time, smashed it into the side of Robert’s. His arm around my waist disappeared and I swept my foot back and twisted to the side to free my arm.  In the same motion I hooked my foot around his ankle and jerked his feet out from under him.

Spinning around I smashed my heel into the side of one of the guys holding Jordan and he punched the other, first in the stomach and then on the back. He grabbed my hand and we ran, shutting the door behind us. Jordan and I sprinted up the cellar stairs and into the forest.

~*~

“Wait.” He said, pulling on my hand and stopping me.

I turned to him confused, “What?”

He swept me into his arms and hugged me close. I buried my face in his chest and relaxed for a moment. I could feel his heart racing, thumping out a steady rhythm. I pulled away and looked up at him.

“Jordan I…” I began but he silenced my lips with his. I melted into the kiss, a kiss so much different from Robert’s. The world around me melted away like it always did at the faintest brush of these lips. Gently he leaned his forehead on mine and whispered,

“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to apologize about. Ever. Ever. I don’t care what he does to you.”

“But…” I protested softly

“Don’t”
         
Suddenly we herd voices from behind us and Jordan and I looked at each other and we ran again.

“Trees.” I breathed trying to speak quietly and run at the same time, “climb the trees they shouldn’t think to look up.” Jordan nodded and he glanced around and veered right pulling me toward a thick pine tree with dense branches.

I quickly followed and jumped onto the lowest branch right behind him. He was already a few branches up and, as I was pulling my right foot up, a hand closed around it and I was yanked back down.

I felt my chin bang against the branch and my head snapped back as I crashed painfully into the ground. My vision spun and I saw someone lean over me but then they disappeared. Jordan had jumped out of the tree and onto the guy who had grabbed me. I stood up slowly and moved to help Jordan but an arm wrapped around me from behind and grabbed tried to pin me in a headlock. I jerked my elbow back into the stomach of my attacker and twisted around out of his grip. It was Robert again.

With out even hesitating to think I swung my fist across and smashed it across his face. He staggered half a step back and then returned the hit. I dropped low and swung my leg out sending him crashing to the ground. Unfortunately I didn’t move fast enough and he managed fall on top of me and wrap his arms around my waist. Fear shot through me as my body reacted to him being that close.

“Not this time.” I growled softly to myself. I balled my hand into a fist and swung it into the side of Robert's head just below his ear. His grip around my waist loosened and I jerked my knee up into his chin and squirmed out of the circle of his arms. I jumped up and turned around only to come face to face with another guy. I back-pedaled in a different direction but I was quickly ringed in by seven or eight guys.

I looked wildly around me for an escape but I saw nothing open to me. Suddenly all of them rushed me at once and I attempted to run. I couldn’t hardly move for room there were so many hands in my face, I was instantly overpowered. Hands closed around my arms and swift jabs to the back of my legs brought me to my knees. I pitched back and forth trying to shake them off but they were too strong. A kick to my stomach stilled me and I doubled over. My hair had spilled out of its clips and it hung in a long dark curtain around my face.

“So what happened to you Alexi? You weren’t this much trouble last time.” Robert’s voice asked. I could tell by his tone that he was sneering.

My heart sped up and I clenched my fists. Collecting my emotions I slowly raised my head to glare at him. He was standing above me, a smug expression on his face; I wanted nothing more than to slap him.

“Why all your friends Robert? It was just you last time. Scared?” I spat at him, forcing as much contempt as I could muster into the few short sentences.

I could tell I had pissed him off. Even after six years I still knew exactly what to look for. Almost imperceptibly his eyes narrowed and the corners of his mouth hardened. Old fears came back to me with the look on his face and I knew exactly what was coming. Predictably, Robert stepped angrily forward and swung the back of his hand across my face.

I led out a soft cry and I heard the sounds of scuffling and yelling behind me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jordan fighting with his captors. I twisted around trying to get a better view but Robert wrapped his fingers around my chin and forced my head back around to face him. I flinched away from him, curling my lip in disdain.

“I see you have a lot to relearn Alexi.” Robert whispered to me, meaning the words for my ears only.

A chill shot down my spine that I couldn’t stop, and my eyes flew to his. I could feel the look of fear on my face appearing and I struggled to force it away. Robert unfortunately noticed all of this.

“Yes a lot to relearn but not everything, not the fear I see.” He whispered, a smirk emerging across his face.

“That’s not going to work Robert, not this time.” I hissed back at him, trying to convince myself as well as him.

He only response was to widen his smirk and give my head a condescending little pat, as if I were a dog. I jerked my head away from his hand and glared up at him. He just laughed and walked away. The two guys holding my arms me lifted me up off the ground and set me on my feet. I tried to pitch them off but they held fast and twisted my arms behind me. I cast an annoyed glance to either side but I stopped moving.

“So I think the question right now is what shall we do with your boyfriend?” Robert asked me, walking over to look at Jordan who was still pinned on his knees. Jordan's hazel eyes narrowed and he glared daggers up at Robert, his shoulders twitching as he attempted to throw of his captors.

“You won’t do anything to him Robert.” I snarled, straining slightly against the hands that were wrapped around my arms.

“But Alexi don’t you know I don’t particularly enjoy being nice to people I don’t like.” Robert crooned in a babying voice, pulling a mocking face and pouting at me.

“Well from what I remember you don’t particularly enjoy being nice to people you claim to like either.” I spat contemptuously.

Jordan stilled his movements and stared at me, shock crossing his face before it hardened into anger again and he returned to glaring at Robert. Robert, however, narrowed his eyes and looked at me.

“You asked me earlier why I chose to take Jordan back. You want to know Robert? You really want to know?” I raged, straining against my captors. Something in me had snapped, I was thoroughly enraged and done with Robert’s attitude. “Because when he says he loves me I can actually believe him. Because I actually feel safe in his company, I don’t have to worry constantly if something I say or do will end up with a beating. Because I’m not afraid to be alone with him for longer than ten minutes. Because I don’t have to lie about where all the bruises on my arms and back are from anymore when I’m with him. Because he truly loves me. That’s why I took him back. Because he loved and still loves me. And I don’t have to stay with him just because I’m afraid; I stay with him because I love him.”

My breath was spent and my shoulder was starting to throb from my pulling and fighting. Robert’s face hadn’t changed at all when I had spoken but I could tell he was mad again. Long buried instincts were simmering to the surface and telling me to run. I shrank back from Robert as he advanced on me his hands clenched into fists. Fear, old fear was flooding into my system again, overriding my want to not let him get under my skin.

My breathing quickened and I searched for an escape. A hand closed over my mouth and a thick sickly sweet smell filled my nose. Panicked I recognized the smell as a potent drug used to render someone unconscious. I held my breath and pitched my head back and forth trying to shake them off. I locked eyes with Robert and he grinned at me as he drew his arm back. I knew instinctively what was coming half a second before Robert slammed his fist into my stomach, forcing all the air out of my lungs. Automatically I breathed in and with a thrill or fear I could feel the toxic fumes entering my system. As darkness filed my vision I heard Robert’s voice.

“Then I suppose we’ll have to change that won’t we?”

~*~