An Angel Named Brett

  I know a man named Brett Michael Crow. I met him right here on Writing.com.
                                            Bcrow
 
  He has inspired me in so many ways. He is truly the most amazing man I've ever known.
  He's been through some major crap-his old man was abusive, he was molested repeatedly as a child, he was gay before he became a child of God (which must have made his life even harder), and he contracted HIV from a romantic partner some years ago. And after all of that, he was saved and became a child of God (he doesn't like it when I call him a Christian, the nut), and is the most Godly human being I've ever talked to.
 

  Now, I went through a lot of crap, too, before I was saved-both of my parents and my brother (my only living sibling) were drug addicts, and so I practically raised myself; my old man beat the crap outta me when he couldn't get his dope; when I was 14, I was almost molested by one of my mother's drug buddies (although it didn't happen, cuz I told him in no uncertain terms to get the &$%# outta my house, it still screwed me up for a long time); when I was 13, my mother was severely beaten in front of me by her latest "boyfriend", and I had to run a mile up the street to get help (and I found out 2 years later that he held a gun to her head and threatened to rape her); then, when I was 15, me and mom moved into a crackhouse, (where we lived for about 11 months) cuz we had nowhere else to go, and I couldn't go to school, or date, or even have friends, cuz I was so scared that someone would find out where I lived and call the cops; and then, when I was 17, mom started hangin out with a guy from work (who was about 23), and she brought him around all the time, and I fell in love with him (and told her so), I asked her not to touch him, and she promised she wouldn't, but she hooked up with him anyway, KNOWING how I felt about him, and after PROMISING she wouldn't get involved with him. (Then she told me, "Well, you can't have him because you're underage! Besides, he doesn't feel that way about you-he thinks you're pretty, but that's it. He doesn't want you, he wants me.") She was the only person in this world that I thought wouldn't hurt me like that, but she did. I was so grief-stricken that my mind began to shut down. (I was saved just in time!)
  Even now, I still have problems-my mother acts like a 5 year old cuz she was high most of her life, and she can't make the right decisions, and when I tell her that this decision would be better than hers, she doesn't listen, and then she screws up! I have to tell her what to do, instead of the other way around, cuz she can't make responsible decisions for herself anymore. And my brother's still a dope fiend, and he steals from us every chance he gets.
  And, throughout all of the crap that has gone on, I have been hiding a huge secret: I have bipolar disorder. It has never been diagnosed, but I have suspected that it's there ever since I was 12. After I was saved, I began to ask God if I really have it, and He has told me I do. Nobody in my family suspects that I have this problem. I have suffered alone and in silence for almost 7 years. I used to be terrified that if I didn't get help, I would go insane. But who is there to tell, when your entire immediate family is on crack, the rest of your family are practically strangers, and you have no friends because most of the time, you're too depressed to get outta bed? I certainly don't have a problem with gettin outta bed anymore, but I still don't feel comfortable around most people. I'm doin a lot better, though, now that I've found Jesus, except for the mood swings.
  I know my mom would probably listen to me now, if I were to tell her, but I can't. When you hide a secret like that from someone for so long, it just gets harder. And not only that, but our relationship is still kinda strained, considering.

  I've been through hell the past 7 years, but I haven't been through half the crap Brett has. I never would've thought that a person that had been through so much could still be such a loving and caring person. He never has a negative thing to say, he's always supportive and encouraging, and every time I read one of his emails (and his little jokes, which he thinks are lame, but I really enjoy), my whole day seems a little bit brighter, and I end up on such a "Jesus-high" that I can't stop smiling.
  Knowing what all he's gone through, and seeing how at peace and truly happy he is, has helped me a lot. Every day, I struggle to stay on God's path, and sometimes, the past catches up with me, and I get in a funk. But knowing the crap he's gone through, and seeing how far he's come, has really inspired me, and given me hope for myself. He is totally at peace with everything and everybody. And it makes me think, "Wow! If he can go through that and still be happy, then I can get there, too!!!"
 
 
  I haven't gotten there yet, but just "knowing" this wonderful man helps me more than he could ever know. He is truly an angel on earth.





  "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." ---Hebrews 13:2 (KJV)