DEATH IS BETTER THAN THIS

DEATH IS BETTER THAN THIS

I sit at your table
drinking a coke
knowing my world
will go up in smoke

Knowing exactly what you will say
knowing you will destroy my soul today

Why do you sit there wringing your hands?
Say it you weak pathetic man
I can hardly stand
this waiting

So I will you to make your play
knowing exactly what you will say
willing emotions to go away

Then in a voice emotionally dead
you say it
a bomb goes off in my head

You recall your sexcapade
with that bitch from your past
and my world shatters
like fragments of glass

Hollow words spill from your head
it just happened
I don't love her
she means nothing
you said
and all I could think was
you took NOTHING TO BED!!!

I want to laugh
I want to cry
but most of all
I want to die

It would have been kinder
to stick a knife in my heart
slap me, do anything else
but tear my world apart

DAMN YOU! I HATE YOU!
I LOVE YOU!
I WISH YOU WHERE DEAD!!
Conflicting thoughts run through my head

But outwardly calm
I sit sipping my coke
with each sip I choke

Then you stand up
so calm
so happy
and you make a fatal error
you look at me

Hatred burns
through my veins
replacing the pain
driving me insane
hand on bottle
bottle in hand
I feel so dread
that I could take this bottle
and kill you -DEAD

But ever the pretender I smile
and you look at me as if you could die.

"YOU BASTARD, SELF SERVING MAN!!"
YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU
I can hardly stand
this hurting.

GOD is this what hell is like?
I can hardly breathe
then you ask are you ready to leave?
so with my last breath
I whisper yes

We leave your house
forever for me
we walk
you talk
you have so much to say
I wish you would just shut to f**K up
and just go away

So I can think
but instead I sink
into nothingness

Finally you leave my side
I go to my best friends house
and I still don't cry

Ever the pretender

She says all men are dogs
they don't have a clue
forget him
your beautiful
play the field that’s what she would do.

I stare at her
her words echo in my head
I think "Is every body emotionally dead?"

But I am to everyone
what they want me to be
so I smile at her
and pretend
it doesn't bother me

But alone that night
I cried and cried
to know that my love had died
Oh God this hurt I would rather be dead
you have destroyed my heart
I can't deal with this shit
I don't know where to start

Is this how love dies
without one last kiss
death is better than this.