The Axe

"Hey, you stupid wiener!" yelled a voice from a car speeding by.

"Like I haven't heard that one before," I muttered, turning to start one more self-conscious lap down the sidewalk. At least no one could recognize me.

I began to smell my own sweat mingling with the sweat of untold others who had worn the Wiener World wiener costume. It was a giant stuffed bun and hot dog with patches of yellow and red sewn on to look like ketchup and mustard. You can't be picky when you wait until June to find a summer job.

"Jim, can you come inside for a minute?" my manager yelled across the parking lot.

"Sure thing," I replied.

Walking into the back room, I started to pull apart the Velcro strips that trapped me in.

"Jim," my manager started before I had even gotten out of the dog, "I've gotta let you go."

I couldn't believe it. He was firing me.

"We really need someone a little more, you know...wacky, to grab the attention of potential customers."

"I know," I agreed, actually feeling encouraged that I was not the wacky man needed to fill the Wiener World wiener shoes.

word count: 199

-Getting fired is nature's way to telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place.
-Hal Lancaster