2 Heartbreaks down, 1 million more to go

I feel so torn up about this. I feel like I shouldn't be. I feel like I lied to you. Maybe I just lied to myself. I didn't think you had a hold on me because I wouldn't allow that to happen. Then, once I did I thought I could keep it from getting that deep. I couldn't do it. I can't figure out why I let you of all people get inside. I've blocked out many before you but I just couldn't do that with you. Maybe it was the way kissed me in the parking lot that first night we became more than friends. The only thoughts going through my mind were 'kiss me now! kiss me!' & you did. Maybe you had me then. Or, maybe it was 6 months later when you told me that I'd be the girl you'd get over her for. You were at my side the entire night even when your best friend/my exboyfriend was there watching. You wanted to be with me. You came back with me, cuddled with me, kissed me in the morning. You fell for me, not the other way around. It could've been Valentine's Day. You met me early in the morning & gave me roses, the only ones I'd ever gotten, a bear, sweets, mix CDs I probably would have loved & be listening to right now but you never could figure out how to burn CDs on your old computer, but most of all, you gave me this note. This love note that just summed up every feeling you had about me. The last line saying, 'you look gorgeous, babe' when you hadn't even seen me yet. I loved that the most. I still have it & I haven't read it in awhile. I don't want to because I know that I will cry like I almost am right now. I loved how you looked at me, how you wanted to talk right after we parted until we fell asleep, how you would greet me each morning. I loved how you couldn't stop kissing me after I'd been gone for a weekend. I loved the first time we said I love you because it felt so right. There were a lot of things I loved about you up until you lost those qualities. I've been understanding because I wanted it to work. I wanted to have that great relationship I once had but it just seem like your love burned out. I'm heartbroken now, but I feel like I can get over it. You're stayinfg here & I'll be leaving. I have my moments of weakness when I want to talk to you & sometimes I do. I'm done with it though. If you can treat me the way you should by now, I'm done. I'll be ok, this isn't the first one that's crashed & burned & won't be the last. You've taught me not to give everything to someone because of the way they make you feel. Feelings change & you'll be left with nothing.