THINK BEFOR YOU SPEEK!

So here are some questions that i was asked more than once during my husbands deployment to Iraq.


1. I don't know how you do it.
Well, guess what? In all honesty, I don't know how I do it either. I just do. Because really, what other choice do I have? (Added: I personally call it the "Army Wife" version of Social Darwinism. You either do it or you don't, Survival of the Fittest at its finest.)

2. I could never deal with it if my husband was gone for that long.
Hmmm...how does hearing how someone else can't deal with it help me to deal with it? (And that's why you aren't married to a soldier. Case closed.)

3. Are you scared that something may happen to him while he's there?
This one has always really got me. Of course, I'm scared. I wouldn't be human if I wasn't. But being reminded of the fact that something may happen to him doesn't help me out. (Added: This goes hand in hand with the phone calls saying, "Did you see the news?" NO, I didn't and I'm not going to see the news. And quite frankly, statistically, my husband has a greater chance of being killed or seriously injured in a car accident driving on the H.E.Bailey Turnpike every day than he ever did when he was deployed.)

4. Do you miss him?
Every time I was asked this, I just wanted to respond "Oh, no, definitely not. I like it when he's gone. It gives me the chance to be all by myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Who wouldn't want that?" Of course, I miss him. Wouldn't you miss your husband?

5. I know just how you feel. My husband was on a business trip last month for three days and I just thought I would die.
Are you kidding me? First, I barely notice now if my husband is only gone for three days. Second, unless his business trip was to a place where everyone is openly carrying a gun in the street trying to kill him and suicide bombers and roadside bombs are prevalent, its not remotely close to being the same. The only thing I may give you on this one is that you know what it's like to sleep in an empty bed.

6. How can you sleep at night knowing your husband is a murderer? Won't you be afraid when he comes home?
This one sets me off more than any other. No soldier is a murderer. Have they had to kill someone? Quite possibly. But there are a great many soldiers who never have. It's not something they talk about in daily conversation. Regardless of what they do overseas, it does not make them a murderer. They are in a war zone and following orders. I have never once even had an inkling that I should be afraid of my husband because he is a soldier.

7. If you truly supported your husband, you would be protesting so..he wouldn't have to deploy again/could be brought home/the war would end.
Really? My definition of support must be much different than the definition of support by these people. Supporting my husband means supporting him in what he does and what he believes in. It does not mean disrespecting the men and women who volunteered to defend our country and our rights. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have the right to protest in the first place. I'm certainly not putting myself in a position where it could be construed as anything other than 100% support for our troops and their families.

8. I can't believe your husband did this to you. Aren't you mad at him?
Um, what?! My husband didn't do anything to me. He honors his agreements and he follows the orders of his superiors. There's certainly nothing sad or maddening about having a husband who fulfills his commitments. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm proud of my husband and I completely support him!