The Ballad of Jimmy's Sister

We organised by morning break
to convene a Council of War
Jimmy Scagg had told all the lads
to gather by the bike shed wall

There was Jimmy, Ben and Harry
Billy Hitchcock, Dave and Steve
Christian de Mellville,
Stubbsy, Gavin and then me

Jimmy Scagg was our General
and he told us a sad story
about how Scully Jenkins mum
had made his sister very poorly

Apparently, Scully's brother had
stopped kissing her last week, cos
his mum had seen Jimmy's sister
half undressed with her new boss

We all agreed right there and then
to sort out this gross confusion
and that kicking Scully's head in
was the only sensible solution

Little Billy Hitchcock was sent,
note in hand, to Scully's buddy
that if he didn't show at lunch
his ugly nose would be made bloody

At dinner time we heard the bell
and all ten of us skipped the hall
We met with Scully Jenkins' gang
behind the old assembly hall

There were eight of them - that seemed fair
cos' they had Joe making them equal
He was taller than a twelve year old
and wider than two people

I weighed up James Jones for myself
he was like a rabid terrier
all bone and sinew held with snot
and a vicious streak of terror

"No bitting, kicking in the balls"
Jimmy said to Scully's glower
"Appart from that anything goes,
scream surrender and it's over"

With that each General rallied his men
and the playground war begun
James Jones shot at me like an arrow,
bowled me over, left me stunned

I scrambled to my feet once more
knocked off his glasses in surprise
my fist against his doughy face
he leered with rhumey eyes

His fists flaying in a frenzy
a gutteral wail escaped his lips
but I was ready for him now
and so I kicked him in the ribs

Down he went all curled up, whimpering
"Please stop. I surrender!"
Christian de Mellville laughing
whilst chewing on Joe's sweater

Scully Jenkins was in a headlock
Gavin looked badly winded
Stubbsy's grin with bloody teeth
Big Dave gone after Sinbad

Ben and Harry were Missing in Action
and Steve had grazed both of his knees
but Jimmy's face was beaming
he knew his sister would be pleased

We ran off jeering at Jenkins
replaying the battle again
but this time lots more seemed to happen
more blood, more battle, more men

After the whistle, in English,
we silently thought of our friends
remembering all those who had fallen
and just what had happened to Ben?

The Battle of Jimmy's Sister
would stir all our memories
Immortalised for all summer
as we picked off the scabs on our knees