I Want to Go Hone

“My suggestion would be, use it as kindling to start your grill.”

“Thank you, for taking into account my fragile ego.”

“You're never going to grow if I coddle you.”

“Coddle! What about finding a happy medium of harsh criticism and severe suggestions for improvement?”

“I gave you a suggestion.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“The Department of Conservation of Natural Resources has perfect grounds to fine you for wasting paper.”

“Do you enjoy this?”

“What?”

“Ripping me apart with your quips.”

“Look, just because licking postage stamps is more entertaining than reading your novel...”

“Fine, I'll burn it! Just please, let me crawl out of here with a shred of dignity.”

“Nothing personal kid, I'm just not one for sugar-coating.”

“You can say that again.”

“Nothing personal kid... just kidding.”

“A sadist and a comedian.”

"I'm not going to lie to you."

"How comforting."

“Look, you've got talent. You wouldn't be in here wasting my time if you didn't, but you have a lot of honing to do...a lot. A mount Everest lot.”

“What's your problem? Why do you have to put everything so rudely?”

“It builds character.”

“Whatever. I'll start over from scratch.”

“No, sadly, you won't.”

“What do you mean, or did you just think up another way to verbally clothesline me before I leave?”

“Unfortunately, no. I may have found it less riveting than '101 Steps to Installing Your Own Wainscoting', but the publishers loved it. They want to publish it.”

“Don't mess with me.”

“Oh, how I wish I were. No, your paperback sleeping pill will be available in a bookstore near you in less than six months.”

“Really? And you...I can't believe...Wow.”

“Yes, wow. That's what I said too.”