Panic Prone

I should have been doing what any normal person would be doing at 1:37 a.m.
Sleeping.
But I didn't want to.
I just can't sleep in this house. I don't trust my mother and stepfather. I'm always worried that they would come into my room with a baseball bat or the hunting rifle that's stashed in the top drawer of their dresser and kill me.

Plus I had a right arm that was swelling by the second hanging at my side.
Did I forget to tell you?
My dad threw me against the wall in my room because I was blasting my music too loud.

I didn't even have the music on.
He was just so wasted that he was hearing it in his own mind.

I really don't want to think about it anymore.
So instead I'll lay here with my head on the floor and my body on my bed, eating a jumbo bag of Cheetos while watching television.
I still had 4 hours and 23 minutes before I usually get up, so why not do what I wanted to do?

Around 2:00, the food was gone and all of the good anime shows that were on had ended.
Plus I was getting a huge headache.
Probably because all my blood was rushing to my head.
It was the kind that focuses right on your temples.
I get them alot. But mine are weird.

They're not normal at all. They happen even when I'm asleep, and the pulsing and stinging always wakes me up.
So I try not to sleep.
I keep hoping that they will force my brain out through my ears.
Then I won't have to put up with them anymore.

Okay, all this laying around is causing my depression to start up.
I need something to do.

I looked around, trying to fish my iPod out of the heaping mass of useless crap that was covering my bedroom floor.
Clothes, papers, Doritos bags, pop bottles, school textbooks, notes.
You name it, it was down there.

I'd clean up my bedroom if I could, but I can't.
10 minutes into the project, my ADD takes over and I start playing with a bouncy ball or stapling the air.
I've pretty much given up on ever seeing my carpet again.

I finally found the iPod underneath a worksheet for Geometry that I SHOULD have been working on, but was too lazy to do.
So I sat there and listened to Armor For Sleep for 4 hours until the sunlight came pouring in through my window.
Reminding me that I have school today.

Reminding me that I have to sit in a plastic desk chair thingie for 6 and a half hours.
That I'll have to eat nasty food to give my body "nourishment" so I can survive the rest of the day in the bowels of Hell.

I think it might be rancid.
Have you ever seen a public school's lasagna?
It looks like vomit.
Not very appetizing.

One day I drank a carton of milk and noticed that it was dated back to my sophomore year.
I'm a senior now.
I became sick for the rest of the week.

Which was okay, because I got to sit on my ass for 3 days.

Much to my displeasure, I have to go to school now.