THE MASK

In my head, it’s black and white;
A battle of who’s wrong or right,
And no matter how hard I try,
I can’t seem to stop the fight!

I know there’s control in my life;
But the remote, I have lost with time.
Tears are crying, but I swear they aren’t mine;
Since the face I am wearing, no longer smiles.

An invisible face, controlling my life;
Awaken my body in the middle of the night,
To weaken everyone blocking my sight;
But I swear; I don’t know why I need to strike.

Every night, dad would come home; yelling.
Finding any possible reason for slapping;
I would run and hide in my closet; crying.
God heard my cries but I felt he wasn’t listening.

Dad would find me in the closet; bawling.
He didn’t like the tone in my voice this morning;
I’d reply with a sorry but his teeth kept grinding.
He’d grab me by the arm for heavy beating.

When I opened the closet door and saw my son terrified,
And crying in the corner; that’s when I realized,
That I was leading my father’s troubled life.
Kneeling on the floor, I looked in his eyes; crying.

I know I will soon regain control over my life;
Once I say sorry for being the cause of his cries,
And seek counseling to stop the fights.
I ask my son if he forgives me; he said I might.

Tears are crying, and now I know;
They are mine!
The mask of my father’s face is out of my life;
Because inside, I smile!

***This poem was not written from my experience but from those who I hear almost on a daily basis, the trauma children go through to who they may become later on if they don’t seek any help.  God Bless to everyone seeing themselves in my poem.