Ode To My Laptop

Laptop, you are a waste
What a waste of money and time
To think someone made you
To think how much we paid for you
How can you be such a disappointment?
You overheat constantly
Your feet are just too short
You break when I drop you
Although that was just an accident, of course
And you restart yourself on a whim
And you freeze without warning
You run hot and cold
Wow... what an awful metaphor

How can something made of plastic and metal
Inspire me to such anger as you do?
Wasn't it bad enough before?
Wasn't it enough to lose my entire paper?
You knew I didn't have time to redo it
Wasn't it enough to restart 15 times
On that day that was bad enough already?
Can you blame me for throwing you?
You asked for it really
And now this?

Power cord, are you turning on me too?
Must you refuse to power the computer
unless I hold you at the ever changing perfect angle?
What did I do to deserve you laptop?
Was I a murderer in my past life?
Though, does anyone deserve such torture?
I've wasted enough thought on you tonight
I will sleep now and dream of killing you
And replacing you with something younger
I can't wait to smash you one day
Although I'll probably just sell you
Ebay is full of suckers :)