This was the most emotional thing I've ever written. |
My Conversation With God I was in my room and I saw…The Almighty (Now wait, don’t you dare take me lightly) God arrived and when I saw Him I became slightly…. Upset. I said to myself, “yeah I’m glad you showed up.” And I pointed in front of me, saying, “Meet me right here.” Nah, nah I come humbly to your throne But the size of beef I have with you is bigger than the ribs that tip over the car of the Flintsones. And now I’m ready to scream on you like Fred did Wilma And I’m starting to feel alone, because I’ve been brainstorming this problem for so long The rains are beginning to cave in my Superdome.” So, He looked at me with a rather…snobbish look on His countenance And me in my foolish pride mumbled, “I know God is not trying to clown this.” So I became even more incensed, saying, “God, there’s some things I gotta get off this mahogany chest. How are you gonna abandon me in the early stages of manhood when you said you would order my steps??? You’ve given me all of this ability, and a beautiful black woman that’s really feeling me, But now that life’s trying to weaken me and you...you pulled a Copperfield on me.” Then I got really pissed and said, to God now, “How dare you do that to me?” You said you’d be there when I needed help and— And I’m lost in my own talents, scared to take a step in the right direction. By now, the tears are pouring from eyes, like that brainstorm in my mind Found its way through my ducts as levies and broke them as I cried and cried. I’m down on my knees, all confidence from My very being has vanished, and I feel—like my soul weighs a ton. I took a deep breath and in my last bit of rage, my fists clinched and my forehead sweating, I belted out, “ANSWER ME!!” And God said, “Are you done?” I looked up, puzzled, and said, “Done?” You were the one that told me when I was fifteen that I had limitless potential like power from the Sun, And that even though I don’t know a lotta Spanish, but you said someday I would drop the S from it, pick up an O, and become that language’s word for “One” And all you can say to me is, “Are..you…done?” All I could do was nod in confirmation. He said, “My son….I wasn’t finished yet. Now allow me to address your claims. Yes. Yes, I understand your hurt. You have been blessed with many gifts that I instilled in you at birth. You are the descendant of royalty. Never ever let your head hang low. As far as the direction on your life, I know the way to go. You’ve been trying to walk this path all alone, which is admirable but foolish.” Now my pride’s damaged because I’m thinking, “Did God just call me stupid?” He continued in His infinite wisdom and said, “How about you do this: Just let go my son, and let me do it.” Now I’ve always depended on self, so this was terrifying me all the more. And then He said, “Oh yeah about that beautiful black woman? What do you think I put her in your life for? She’s my tool for your soul and the key to let me get past that lock around your heart. And as far as me abandoning you, I’ve never left you from the start Don’t let anyone, ever try to take your self-worth Because I made you, and I don’t make junk, you’ll be a treasure that I’ll use to change this earth. And then, it was if my tears’ motive became different My mind suddenly eliminated the clouds, and like a polished jewel, my tears washed my soul clearer. Before God departed for the night, I asked, “So how will I know you’re with me? I can’t see you.” He said, “Son, you were made in my image. Just look in this mirror.” By: Johnathan D. Tillman |