My fairytale

I remember the winter nights when it first began
Smoking cigarettes, playing cards, and holding hands
Running out to the balcony and sharing our future plans

I remember when we strolled around the playground
With the Christmas lights the city forgot to take down
They twinkled in your eyes and I was spellbound

I remember the first night we slept together
Our exposed bodies united on someone else’s leather
I found companionship and I knew it would never sever

I remember crawling into the bed with you in the afternoon
And the passion you gave to me never came too soon
Your hands in my hair as you taught me about love in your bedroom

I remember the time you danced with me to that song
Whispering the lyrics that told me I was the one
You were holding me up, but I knew I had fallen

Hold on one second while I push rewind
Something’s not right here
There’s something to this story that’s missing

Let’s take a real trip down memory lane
Let’s see if it’s the fairy tale I claim

I remember the winter nights when it first began
We only knew each others names, and I even forgot yours once
I knew you had a girlfriend and you knew I was lonely
But we didn’t say the things we should have said like
”Hello, I use girls for sex, but pretend I give a damn” or
”Hello, I’m a suffering drug addict searching to be loved”

We ran to the balcony never to talk only to touch
You had found your escape and I had found my new drug
Toxin seeped from your fingertips into my veins
I knew you were dangerous to my well being
But the adrenaline rush you provided I wasn’t willing to give up

It was never official, but it was known
That you were mine and I was yours
Something inside of me changed
And I started to feel something people call love

I still didn’t know you, we never talked
Any words exchanged went through our friends
But I was talking to you with my body hoping you could hear me
Maybe I was asking for too much
You were a grown man and I was just a girl who lived life too fast

I cheated on you, but you already had a back up plan
I was simply filler until you got what you really wanted
So no, I don’t feel bad
So no, I don’t give a damn
No, I didn’t do you wrong
NO, I won’t say I’m sorry
I WAS A FILLER

I am sorry, however it took me so long to realize
That you are a sorry son of a bitch
And I’m not sorry that I’m not using eloquence
To express the way I’m feeling

I fucking fell in love with you
I fucking fell in love with you
I fucking fell in love with you
I FUCKING FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU

As if all of this wasn’t bad enough
When it was all over you had to come back for more
I was a cheap thrill that you didn’t want to give up
Until I overdosed and almost died
But even then only a month later
You came back around trying to get laid

It has been four months past a year now
I disappeared, but I came back
Not sure if it was to win your love
Or just to punish myself

I remember the winter nights when it first began
Smoking cigarettes, playing cards, and pretending to give a damn
Running to the balcony to forget our lives and please our hands

I fell in fucking love with you.
This is our story.
This is my Fairy Tale.