Was it a good opportunity?

Lucky you, Lucky you

That's what people kept telling me when i came back from my 5-day London trip.

"Wow, that was a really nice opportunity and I'm sure you're happy right?"

How little they knew...

I spent 5 of the most amazing days in my life in London. I won, like many others from around the world, a trip to attend the Second International Student summit. I met students who came from Canada, Brazil, China, England (obviously), Bahrain and many more countries. We spent every second enjoying ourselves getting to know each other and well ... bonding. We shopped, got on the London eye, visited museums and hang out till the late hours of the night in the dorm where we were staying.

Then it happened, the final day, I was the most confident amongst them that I wasn't going to show any sign of emotion. I thought to myself that I was going to contact them by phone emails and messengers; I even thought that i was going to drive up to Bahrain to visit the students there since Bahrain is very close. But nothing prepared me for what was ahead. People cried, people hugged we were sending people of to the air port one by one, and i was still in one piece. Then my turn came and I had to ride on the dreaded bus where my friend finally broke my confidence by telling me that we are never going to see one another again, never going to talk face to face. I will never be able to hear their voices as clearly, never going to touch any of them.

Then I broke, crying is a word that couldn't have described what I went through on the bus, I felt my soul, my insides hurting mourning over the pain. I kept remembering every thing we did, hoping to remember something I didn't like to make me stop this. Nothing came to mind.

And here I am, weeks later, run out of solutions, still very hurt. And people still tell me it was a great opportunity, wouldn't have i been better off without it? Wouldn't it have been easier to close my eyes and not see all those faces? Wouldn't I have been better off never meeting them?

Suddenly a saying pops into mind "it's better to have love and lost, then to never have loved at all"

Well, no offence to whomever came up with it, but I very much prefer my heart not suffer anymore.