Somewhere With Him

This was originally written for the Blue Butterfly competition, which is for Christian poetry. I have uploaded a second poem ("The Commission" ) written for the same contest, but that was accepted for the publisher's anthology.

***

The book, weighty as the concepts inside
Comforting.
It always sat on that same shelf
Unread – I never opened it.
Then she was gone and I took it down
And looked inside.
Spidery scrawl inscribing names of
People long dead.
People with my blood, my ancestors.
All subscribed to this, her faith.

So I sat, in that dim and dingy living room
And read, and the words drew me in.
The colours of the images in my head
Pulling me close
And I remembered the words of so long ago
Stories read at bed time
The words of her minister
And his hand on my arm at the funeral.

Not understanding why she was gone
And secretly wanting to understand
This faith of hers.
I picked up her phone and dialled the number
Pinned on the board by the door.
Arranged to meet him to understand
And knew that she had been right.

She told me once
That one day my heart would open
And I’d need him and accept him in my life,
But I did not or could not believe
And now I finally understood
That she was right.
And I remembered her telling me that
One day she would die to make me believe
And my heart was filled with a joy
I never though I would feel at this time,
Because I knew that she was still living
Somewhere with him.