Life, old friends, and the Hospital

We were finally going to do it. I just couldn’t get my mind around the fact that we were really going to go through with it. I mean we had always promised our self’s that we would, and I know that we had all tried to analyze the building for weak points. I had even talked to some of my sources to find out who had already done it, and how they had entered the building. But it had always just been one of those plans, you know the kind that you plan out so well, and then you just let drift in the summer breeze.

But then something happened that made us change our minds, Andrew’s father received a transfer, to TN. Well that and the feeling that Trent and I were going to graduate, and we had let so many of our little plans slip out of our grasps. I guess something about that combination made us determined to accomplish this one grand plan. The adventure we had been talking about for close to a year. Breaking into the abandoned hospital.

For those of you who are not familiar with the cedar area’s history let me give you the story as many of my peers have told it. Some were around fifty years ago an asylum for the mentally ill was built near the base of Cedar Mountain. This was during an era were the mentally ill were not looked upon with kindness, it was seen as a disease, and those suffering from mental illness were put away, never to be bothered with. The institution went under, and moved all of their patients to Point of the Mountain. For those who believe in haunting, and other things of a paranormal nature, this is not a friendly way to start a buildings history. Some say that the anguish of those tormented souls seeped into the walls, and still resides there today.

Several years later a detention center took up residency. With the building already being haunted, and the stress that life in a prison situation can bring, it is little wonder things turned out as they did. I have heard several first hand reports of past employees working at that detention center who say that no matter were you went you felt like something was watching, something lurking just out of sight. One individual in particular told me of several instances were she heard voices, non-human voices, their tones filled with malice, resentment, and sadness. She says that she made it a point to never be alone there after the sun went down.

And the story goes on. According to legend a kid died, and the detention was shut down. All the occupants were disbursed among the other detentions in the state. The detention was later opened, but in a new building across town.

Then construction began; Valley View Medical Center was to take up residency of the building. The old asylum and detention would become the basement, and a new building would be built on top. Only now the haunting grew worse, feeding on all the contention, resentment, and pain. The malice grew stronger. Add to that the death of a young person, and all the emotions attached to something that horrible, and you have your self an honest to god, genuine haunting.



However being like most non-believers the people planning the hospital decided that a building is just a building, nothing more. So when the new building was finished, the haunting continued. Once again you add the very nature of a hospital, injured people, in pain, suffering afflictions of both mind and body, many of them on their death bed’s, and a haunting to feed on all of there anguish, growing stronger everyday, expanding with the passing of every soul. becoming more powerful with every twinge of pain. Becoming more resentful towards the living, and inflating it self with rage; mindless, listless rage at the thought of joy, the idea of happiness, the very mention of laughter.

I had heard stories about strange happenings at the hospital from a young age and even experienced some first hand. My mother was a nurse at the Valley View Medical Center; she worked in the operating room. She loves her job, so much that she has made many sacrifices to do it. However every now and again she would come home and tell stories that would chill me to the bone. Of course she didn’t tell them to me, I was far too young, but she did tell them to her friends and my father, and I have ears like a jack rabbit, and a curiosity that almost completely consumes me sometimes. I heard her speak of feeling like she was being fallowed through the basement, of leaving at night with a feeling of panic, like she absolutely had to get out, like something was driving her away. On a couple of occasions she spoke of hearing things being knocked over in the other room, running into the room to see what was happening and finding everything as it should be, no one around, the only thing amiss was that the room would always be cold, bone chillingly cold, the kind of chill that shakes you to your core.

There was a time when I would go to work with my Mother for a little while, a couple of hours, sometimes I would spend the whole day wandering around the hospital, eating in the cafeteria, visiting people who I grew to know very well, and looking at the newborns , I think that was my favorite part. However I was always filled with an unexplained dread of the basement. I never wanted to go down there, and rarely ever did. I agree with the accounts of many others, every step I took in the basement seemed to echo off the walls, I always felt eyes on the back of my head, and the feelings of terror ….Its hard to describe. I remember one time, my mom was about to get off for the night, so I went down stairs to go to the car. I was all alone, walking through a hall. The day staff had left, and the grave staff avoided the basement. All the doors were open, and everything seemed normal. Suddenly, as the time changed from 9:59pm to 10:00pm, the temperature dropped, and all the doors slammed closed one by one.

It had been a long time since then though, and the feelings I had as a child have changed, from dread to wonderment. From fear, to curiosity. And sadly the terror I felt was replaced with a feeling of want and regret. The years had rolled by, and my mom and I have grown distant. It’s mainly my fault really, but that’s the way it works, no going back now………. Anyway, going back to the old hospital was kind of like, strolling down memory lane. Back to the days when I could hang out at work with mom, back when things still made sense.

The reasons for going are as numerous as waves in an ocean, and all together meaningless, the real adventure is in the doing.

It was a Wednesday night when the desire truly hit us. We had to be smart about it, because the penalties could be sever, but between the three of us we figured we could handle anything. So we set out form Trent’s house at about 8:00, right as the sun was setting. The tension I felt on the ride over was compounded a hundred times when I saw my lights flash over a “NO TRESPASSING” sign. I could tell from the new cement holding it in place that it had been installed only that morning.

I circled the place three times, once to count the newly added signs, (around 12 in all) and once out of nervous ness, and then one more time to see if a squad car would be summoned. Feeling apprehensive, I decided to drive away, much to the dismay of my comrades. I saw Trent turn to face me in the dim light of my cars cabin. “Come on man,” he said, a pang of frustration in his voice. “Let’s just do this thing” “yah” Andrew chimed in from the back, “let’s just get it over with.” I couldn’t yet; I had to be sure before I committed my self. “Naw, come on guys, lets come back in a little. Let’s see if anyone calls the cops, then we will know how long we have. Neither of them wanted to, but they both consented.

When I returned 20 minutes later to find no change I was satisfied. I made the decision to park behind the old clinic, in front of the hospital. Not only was the absence of “No Trespassing” signs a comfort to me, but the building also provided my car with some cover. This was to be just a reconnaissance mission to assess points of entry, and to check out any potential security devices.

The crunching noise my boots made on the landscaping rocks echoed in my skull. The sun was setting, and most people were indoors, I knew it was the best time to do this. But still the bark of every dog, echoing off the deserted building, seemed to bring fresh waves of panic to my mind. I lead the way, fallowed closely by my two companions, both of whom seemed to be completely oblivious to the danger of the situation. Both were joking, and walking with out regard to the noise their foot falls made. I held up on a corner of the building, looking down the alley, searching for security cameras. This at one point had been a makeshift garden, placed between the patient’s rooms and the pediatrics ward. The door at the end lead straight into the building, how ever it, like every other door and window, was boarded up to protect against vandalism.

My heart stopped….Trent and Andy had not waited with me at the corner of the building. They were both wandering down the ally, headed directly towards what looked to me like a motion sensor. Afraid to raise my voice I whispered franticly, “STOP, STOP. Don’t move.” Neither one heard me, but they both stopped and turned to see what the commotion was about. “Don’t move; slowly come back to me, VERY slowly.” Quizzical looks come over their faces, but they complied. When they neared me I whisperingly told them about the motion sensor. Something about the presence of actual security devices seemed to sober the two up, however neither wanted to admit it. “Calm down Kip, nothing is going to happen.” “Yah,” Andrew added, “I don’t think we triggered it. Besides it looks like it’s connected to that light.”

The truth is it did, until you saw the beige cord snaking down from the light through a hole in the plywood covering the door. However Andy was probably right. I didn’t think they had come close enough to trigger it. Even so, the anxiety I felt was building. I finished scanning the alley, and decided to explore other areas of the building before we ventured down it.

With a renewed sense of caution we ventured around the next turn. I knew from the years I had spent here that this is one of the doors which was never meant to be shut, and thus was never installed with a lock. I suspected that because it couldn’t be locked it would probably have other protections around it, and had we come a few days earlier this probably would have been true, however for the first time in my life, I found my self thanking social miscreants. Laying on the cement, in several pieces was the remains of a security camera with a light attached. Someone with a clear taste for destruction had yanked the camera down from its perch above the door and smashed it several times on the cement. Something about the sight of that smashed camera made me feel much more secure.

I approached the door. It shouldn’t be a problem to open, the only issue would be the noise by ripping the plywood off the wall, and the suspicion a door with the plywood taken off would inspire. I didn’t feel great about it, but it would do in a pinch.

Poking my head around the next corner I saw several cameras, still attached to the building. Going that way was out of the question. I couldn’t see anyway around the cameras, and besides that was one of the most visible areas of the whole building. People passing on the street would be able to see us there. We turned around and headed for the alley.

By skirting the wall we managed to stay out of view of the motion detector. As we walked down the alley, Trent quietly said, “dose this not remind you of the meditation garden? You know the abandoned one in star wars.” It was true. In fact it was exactly what I was thinking. Lame as it was, I found it a comfort that our minds work the same way. A snicker escaped from my tension constricted chest. The feeling of anxiety lessened a little.

The end of the alley was a mess, beer cans and bottles littered the ground, along with the remains of two more security cameras. The walls were littered with graffiti, and the most disturbing of all, a grate leading to an emergency exit from the basement had been thrown against a wall. Fear seemed to flow from that stair well like a vapor, filling my lungs, sucking me down. My breathing quickened and I tried to focus on something else. Trent seemed to have the same reaction as I, if not to a lesser degree. His eyes were fixed on the door at the bottom of the stair well, and he moved slowly towards the grate. I quickly threw the grate on top of the hole; the feeling of dread diminished, but did not entirely end. I still expected to hear a banging on that door any second. We stood there in silence, contemplating the unfathomable horror of that hole for a few minutes. Only when Andy’s voice broke the silence did ether of us move. “Uh I hate to break up this tender moment,” he said, a laugh in his voice. “But what the hell are we looking at?”

Trent and I both stared at Him in disbelief. Had he felt nothing? From the jovial and quizzical look in his eyes I could tell that he hadn’t. Trent spoke first. “You didn’t feel that?” “Feel what?” “You know,” I was moved to words, but I didn’t know what to say, “that…” Trent picked up were I had left off. “That feeling like something was down there, waiting for us, watching us.” He started to laugh. “Funny guys, did you plan that out?” What? What was he talking about? “No seriously dude, you didn’t feel anything?” “No…..Come on guys, I’m not a little kid. You’re not going to scare me.” “Dude, I’m dead serious.” The look on our faces must have convinced him that I wasn’t kidding. “Oh no way dude, you don’t seriously believe in that kind of horror movie crap do you?” Trent piped up, “Cool out man, I felt it too.” “You guys are crazy. Nothing like that has ever really happened. It’s all just a Holly Wood myth.” How could we have never known he was a skeptic? We had known the kid for over a year. Maybe he had never heard the stories. After all he was home schooled. “Look man……I don’t care what you say. That stuff is real. Look at me, I believe in it whole heartedly.” I was rewarded with a look of inner conflict. He didn’t know what to think. He looked up to both of us, so he wanted to believe us, but on the other hand he had never had any experiences to lean on, and had been raised to not believe in those kind of things. We dropped the conversation for the moment and returned to our search. I rounded a corner in the alley, and that’s when I spotted it.

The ply wood had been unscrewed from the wall, and the window had been broken. There was a small security screen, but it was unlocked. As I investigated the window I noticed something that disturbed me. The glass had been broken from the inside out, that means someone was trying to get out of the building when they broke the window and ripped the ply wood off the wall. That didn’t bode well with me. I cautiously raised the security screen; it slid up quickly and silently. The first thing I noticed was that the room was cold…..Really, really cold. The wave of cold air that washed over me seemed to steal away my breath. I knew that cold, it was the same cold I felt that night when the doors all slammed, the cold that people use to describe death, the same cold feeling I get inside when I know something bad is going to happen, only this time it was on the out side. Inside it looked like it had been ransacked. There was outdated medical equipment lying on the floor, papers were strewn every where, and here and there was an occasional beer can. I stepped away from the window. Cold or no cold, this is where we were going in. After looking both of them agreed….It was perfect. We hurriedly made our way back to my car and drove back to Trent’s place.

Thursday was hell. In the morning I had problems with my girl friend Kristy. Later that night my Dad tried to kick me out of the house again. My life seemed to be shifting into something I didn’t want it to be.

So with the day’s events still crashing around in my mind, I set out to pick up my comrades. It was around 7:00pm, so we wanted to move quickly. The decision to go before it got dark was popular. After picking both of my friends up and driving around the target a couple of times we parked. Everything that had gone on that day seemed to collide, and fuse into this kind of reckless abandon. I didn’t really care what happened, I felt like I needed some thing crazy to take my mind off of everything, and illegally breaking into the most haunted building in southern Utah seemed to be just what the doctor ordered.

Angrily I picked up my flash light and slammed the car door. The others got out, and as we began to walk to the hospital Trent spoke up. “Um, hey Kip. Maybe we should have a prayer?” “Oh that’s a novel idea, let’s say a prayer to god before we break the law, and step onto haunted ground.” “What’s your problem dude?” “Nothing, not a damn thing is wrong ok? Ill say the prayer.” As I bowed my head I felt a little calmer. I won’t write the words that were spoken, but suffice to say it made all of us feel a little better.

As we were walking to the building Trent started chuckling. We both looked at him inquisitively. He gave a little snicker and said, “you know Andy your screwed.” “What?” “Yep, in all the movies the non-believer dies first, usually he’s trying to play a joke on the others and the real thing gets him.” He started laughing and then choked out quietly “I give you the first 10 minutes of the movie.” At this we all laughed and continued walking.

The walk through the meditation garden was very strange. Judging from the faces of my friends, they all felt different. Andrew seemed to be a little less confident, and Trent’s head was on the swivel. I my self had almost totally given into the feeling of abandon. Nothing seemed to really matter. When we got to the window the room seemed to be warm.

Suddenly off in the distance I heard a car door slam. We all froze and looked at each other…..My heart was hammering so hard I was sure the others could hear it. Fear and anxiety flushed through my veins with my blood. I was acutely aware of everything around me………..Was that a foot step? Scanning the faces of my friends in silence I saw there eyes had widened, and they seemed to be straining to hear. “What do we do?” “SHHHHH, Shut up and let me listen.” …..Nothing. Not another sound could be heard. “Maybe it was someone in the neighborhood?” “Yah probably”

We stood there for close to ten minutes just listening. The tension built to fever pitch. The questions ran unspoken between us. Go in, or get out. Was it too late? Were the police waiting for us at my car? Had we imagined the foot steps? They sounded so real. The Silence was broken by Andrew. “Kip, what should we do?” I thought for a few minuets longer.

By leaving we make sure that we got out of trouble, or at least minimize the trouble. That seemed like the logical thing, the safest thing, and the best thing. I took a few steps to wards my car, and the others fell in step. Then I thought again. By leaving we miss out on another adventure, on our last couple months of adolescence. We lose the ability to learn, we lose the memories we could be making together. We admit defeat to our fears, and to society. We allow our self’s to back down, to quit, and ultimately we allow ourselves lose the sense of adventure we have carried and nurtured our whole life. I wasn’t willing to give that up, not then, not ever.

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around. “Look guys, we can do this. I can’t guarantee that we won’t get caught, but I can tell you that we will have a great time. This is the adventure we have been waiting for. If you’re with me, then hands in.” I stuck my hand out. Both my friends enthusiastically joined me, and we set to our work.

The first step was to get the others in. I hoisted first Trenton then Andrew through the window, so that nobody would get cut on the glass. Then I kind of gave a jump and planted both feet on the window seal. For a moment I began to fall back, but couldn’t catch my self on the window for fear of cutting my hands, luckily my friends caught one hand a piece and drug me in. We stood in the dim light cast by the window and grinned at each other. We were in.

We quickly snapped on our flashlights and looked around. The old equipment was still laying everywhere, but the papers were no were to be found. That creped me out just a little, but I’m sure there was an explanation for it. We made our way out of the little office we had entered into the main hallway. Garbage littered the floor, and there was graffiti on the walls. The remains of the college’s haunted hospital. Every Halloween for the past three years the college had their drama departments decorate the hospital, and put actors in it to raise money. Last year they must have left all the stuff up, because there were barricades in the hall, and in the emergency ward there were fake sacks of organs hanging from the ceiling. Some rooms had fake blood splattered on the walls and floor. We walked away from the areas that had been desecrated by the actors, and moved towards other parts of the hospital.

Suddenly, as we were walking towards the O.R, I lapsed into a memory. I was walking down this same hall, towards the place were they kept the newborns. As my hand touched the glass I almost see them lying there. All innocent and clean. There almost always seemed to have a light coming off of them. I had always loved to stand at the window and watch them. I walked a little further and I could almost see my little sister lying in the breathing machine just after she was born. Then my brain seamed to come back. The glass I had once pressed myself against was shattered, only the wire that had been put inside the glass kept even the illusion of a window. The really scary thing for me was that the wire had held the shape of the object that broke it, it looked like a human hand, but who could stand to punch wire infused glass countless times, and not bleed? There was absolutely no way that this destruction could have been caused by a human.

We walked away from the baby room towards the O.R. Trenton reached out his hand to open the door and suddenly the temperature dropped…..I could see my breath in front of my face. The peace that had been brought on by the memory was quickly fading, and I felt panic growing inside my chest. “Don’t touch that door.” I said it but I didn’t have to, he had already stopped, and was slowly backing away. “lets go……We have other things to see.”

It seemed that the further we got away from that O.R. door, the more at peace I felt. We stopped in one of the E.R. halls, and sat at a desk loaded with old paperwork and a computer. Something seemed to be bugging Andy so I asked him about it. “Its just that I felt it…the thing you guys were talking about…..when we were at the O.R. doors….I felt really…bad…..like something inside was dieing.” We all kind of nodded, that was it exactly. “Do you feel ok now?” “yah, but still…..I didn’t believe in that whole thing and now I know it is true…..I just feel a little stupid is all.” “Its cool dude, don’t worry about it, ok?” “Yah, ok.”

It was then that I realized that some of the tiles in the ceiling were missing….knocked out or something. You could see the cables and steal I-beams in the roof. Something caught my eyes, and I stood up to get a better look. High above us, in one of the red I-beams, someone had scratched 9l3H…. the scratches were deep, and look like they had taken a long time to make. There was no way one of the college kids would have done that, It would have taken too long, and the only way someone would have seen it is if they were looking up from right were I was. I showed the others, and they agreed with me. Also Trent brought up a good point, why would someone have scratched ‘help’ backwards in an I-beam in the ceiling? It made no sense.

We moved on quickly, lingering on things that looked interesting to us. The glow of our flashlights was a constant comfort, and we were talking about all kinds of things. Eventually a feeling of serenity seemed to fill me, and I felt better than I had felt in a long time, not happy, just calm. Like the feeling that I get when I let my self sink a little ways in the pool and just float there. Its so peaceful, and calm.

Eventually we made our way to the foyer. The beams of our flashlights fell upon a gigantic plaque. The names of benefactors, builders, volunteers and the like were all inscribed on it. We looked over the names for a while, until I heard a rustle….I turned very quickly, but saw nothing. That feeling of unease crept over me again. “Lets keep moving.” I said.

We turned and started waking again, and I felt more at ease. We wandered for another long while and finely ended up in a hall way I had never been, but I knew where it was. We had walked about half way down it when I heard a loud thud from behind me. It was like a shockwave, the hall went cold, my chest seemed to fill with ice cubes sloshing back and forth, and I felt like I was going to throw up.

I turned to see Trent standing next to a door, just by looking at him I could tell what had happened. He had gone to open the door for some reason, and had thought it was open, so he just pushed it, but the door hadn’t opened. “DON’T OPEN DOORS” I said rather loudly, but immediately wished I hadn’t. I felt as if several things were looking at me, just out of sight. “What were you thinking?” I whispered. We stared walking off at a fast pace, but careful not to let our feet make any noise. “I don’t know” he said. “The door was cracked and I went to open it, but something resisted, it was like the door pushed back.” The sick feeling in my stomach grew stronger and I had to resist the urge to wretch. “Let’s get out of here,” Andy whispered urgently.

I quickly lead us to the window and we all jumped out. I came last and walked up on the other two staring at something. It first I was afraid we were caught, but then I saw it. The full moon was just barely rising over the mountain. The way I figure it the sick feeling in my stomach couldn’t have started more than two and a half minutes ago, and it seemed to me that the moon just peaked its tip over the mountain when Trent got the urge to open that door, and my sickness started. We sprinted to my car, started it up, and drove…..I drove around for a long time, and it seemed the farter I went from the hospital, the less sick I felt. I cracked a window, and felt the cool air cleanse my every pour….My heart was finally slowing down, and Trent and Andy were making small talk about the things that had happened, but I didn’t feel the need to join the conversation until Andy said, “hey man when you hit that door, I felt like I was gunna puke.” “Yah me too” said Trent. “You guys felt the same way?” I asked. We then noticed the time as a group. It was only eight forty; it had felt like we were in there for hours and hours. I had expected it to be ten.

When we had set out that night, it had been as friends. When we parted, it seemed to me that we left as brothers.

Looking back on that night I can see a few lesions learned. The first of which is that I never have to grow up. As long as I keep that spirit of imagination and adventure, I will always be young. I suppose this means the world is not quite the Never Never Land everyone has portrayed it to be. You don’t just grow up, and decide to stop dreaming, it’s all a choice.

The second is that good friends are something to be held on to and cherished. They can make a difference in your life, and you need to do everything you can to make the time you have with them special, because you never know when they are going to leave you.

Lastly is that sometimes what is right, is not always right…..How do I describe this to you. What we did was against the law, but I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world, so maybe people shouldn’t always blindly fallow the rules, maybe there are a few rules that are made to be bent. But only a few.