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by Aleska Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ · Monologue · Other · #1308123
What Happened?
See at this very moment, I’m drinking a tall glass of Vodka and Dr. Pepper. (Some of you say “that’s gross,” but don’t knock it until you try it.)  So if somewhere I rabbit trail, it’s the drink straying from the point I’m trying to make.  But pay attention closely, because it will all make some sense in the end. (I hope?)
I can write about hate, anger and the deepest pain the soul can endure.  But when it comes to happiness, love and matters of the heart, I can’t seem to express how I feel.  Words go as far as the tip of my tongue and the end of my pen, but no further.  This seems to contradict what I had said in my last blog, entitled “I Love You.”  Having described my unfortunate situation and defining the famous three little words, which every couple likes to use at some point in their relationship. (Whether it works or not, I don’t know.)
  Anyway.  What is it that we’re hoping for exactly?  That maybe the girl behind the counter of Starbucks will finally say something else to you other than “Welcome to Starbucks! How may I help you today?”  Maybe the cute guy who lives three doors down from you will finally ask you to dinner without complaining about the super or apologizing about his drunken roommate, making all that noise the night before.  Or (This happens to be my personal favorite) you’re in love with your best friend or vice versa, to whom, one or both of you are clueless about the circumstances, and that maybe one of you would get the hint & never does. (SUCKS)
They (not sure who “they” might be, but) say “There is always someone for somebody.”  (Sounds inspiring, Right?)……(Wrong!!!) These days, it is almost impossible.  Instead of that “Fairy Tale Love Story”, it has turned out to be some job interview.  Not to say that the “Fairy Tale Love Story” doesn’t happen anymore, just not as often.  It is no longer acceptable to settle with someone and their faults.  Heaven forbid, you have previously been married, have kids, or haven’t quite figured out what career path you want to take, etc... Strike one, two, and three, you’re out.  We now have to apply for a position in a relationship. (Screwed up point of view, Huh?)
There is this list (invisible, but clearly there) of expectations.  This list that no-one in the world (Okay, that was exaggerated, no-one we personally know) can meet and/or exceed.  Who are we to pass such judgments against one another and announce harsh punishments, when we (the individual to do so) can’t even meet these, so called “Expectations” ourselves. (Sounds a little hypocritical to me.  Not a title I want attached to me or my name at any point in time.)  I believe and I quote (not sure who I’m quoting.) “Do not expect anything from anyone, which you do not expect from yourself.” (Make sense?)
Now I’m no expert, (but damn) it can’t be as difficult as everyone surrounding me, makes it out to be.  This is NOT some secret science or mathematic equation. Nor is it based on some deep psychological level of explanation that needs to be found and diagnosed.  Is it just me or is it really that complicated & unobtainable?  Who doesn’t have problems or personally having had bad experiences or made the “Not so correct” choices, in life? (What I really mean)

What happened to simply loving someone?
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