Emotional Breakdown

      The tiny hairs between her legs tickled her thighs as the wind whispered by. She stood naked atop of the Brooklyn Bridge. Through her fourteen years of age, she faced nothing but grinning faces and pointing fingers.
         April didn’t have many friends. She stood out. Her red hair and freckles were the least of her worries. It was her body. The limbs would sag, her stems would jiggle, and her belly would bounce with each step. She was a monster, an outcast, a demon of sorts. Or so the other children would call her.
         At lunch, she had no one to sit with. She was disgusting to watch; a train wreck. You didn’t want to witness it, but you couldn’t turn away. Mayonnaise would drip from her chin onto her blouse. Ketchup would be smeared across her lips. Chocolate would cover her teeth. Not a single piece of fruit would be seen around her. She had no motivation to lose weight. She accepted her obesity. What she couldn’t accept was the ridicule. Why children found pleasure in her pain, she couldn’t understand. She put on her pants the same way. Albeit, it took her a little longer than them with a little help, but she could still do it.
         After school, she would ride the bus home. The bus stop never would drop her off right in front of her house. She would be dropped off just far away enough so the driver could drive slowly for the children to continue to laugh and throw pencils and pens.
         “Fat ass!”
         “Donut douchebag!”
         “Beach ball bitch!”
         Those were the nice remarks.
         Every morning, every day was exactly the same. She would wake up and stare at the ceiling. She wore socks to bed. The cover couldn’t reach as far as her feet. The alarm would buzz at 630a, and on the dot, her mother would come in to help her out of bed.
         Sharon was never proud of her daughter. She would look in the mirror and see perfection. She wanted that for her daughter as well, but the image never matched. Sharon gave up about two years ago when April started taking king size candy bars to aerobics class.
         “Good morning, Mother.”
         “Not this morning, April. Let’s just get you out of bed.”
         Sharon stood up on the bed and positioned herself behind her shoulders. She squatted down and laced her arms under April’s shoulders.
         “One, two, three.”
         Sharon lifted April’s torso off the bed and rolled her onto her feet. Once she was up, Sharon plopped down on the pillow breathless.
         “You have twenty minutes until the bus gets here. Do you need help putting your clothes on?”
         “Yes.”
         Sharon sighed, and walked toward the closet. It was filled with sweat clothes and jump suits. Anything to keep the child covered. She couldn’t stand the mortification she would feel if any inch of skin was seen. The grey sweat suit would do for today. April stood helpless as Sharon tugged and yanked the clothes on her body.
         The door slammed and April was left alone with her image. Standing in front of the mirror, her body looked like the Hindenburg Blimp. Why grey? And why today?
         At school, once again, the children would routinely point and giggle. Billy, the school bully snuck up behind her and dropped a worm in her hair. It took several minutes for April to feel something wiggling against her scalp.
         “What the --?”
         As she reached behind her head, she felt something slimy. She grabbed it, stared it in the face, and screamed. She ran far away from it. Her footsteps pounded the tile in the hallways. The pictures mounted on the way would shake in fear of falling. Billy just laughed.
         April ran to the Vice Principal’s office. The sign on his desk read “Patrick Buckner.” Words on the computer screen blended together. His eyes failed to focus. Fatigue plagued his body. April walked in.
         “Sir?”
         “April, he-hello! How are you this morning?” Vice Principal Buckner’s voice heightened. April always cheered him up. To see that youthful exuberance in education was refreshing. She always had the highest grades and greatest reputation with attitude with all of the staff.
Buckner always had a stuttering problem. He didn’t like conflicts, and tried to stay out of them, even if they concerned his own students.
         “Mr. Buckner, how is your morning?”
“Oh, it’s busy, but good. How are you?”
“Just the same.”
         “April, what is wrong? Are the kids making f-fun of you again? You can always t-t-tell me.”
         “Mr. Buckner, I need a friend. Just one to get me through the day.”
         “April, I’m your friend.”
         Lunch time: Billy and a few other boys sat in at the round table staring and talking about April. They would giggle and point. Finally, after moments of torture, April got up. She panted as she got the strength to hold her legs firm to hold her weight. Hobbling over to the table where the boys talked, every eye followed her. Even the lunch lady, who served meat loaf from two days before, stopped serving to watch.          
         A step was an earthquake. A breath was a hurricane. Finally, she reached the table where Billy and the bullies sat.
         “I know you’re talking about me. What do you want?”
         Billy stared in horror. The disaster had breached his turf. The other boys looked to him as their defender. They whispered encouragement and comebacks to him. His eyes smirked.
         “We were thinking that we would let you in our group.”
         April was stunned. Besides her physical limitations, gullibility was certainly her strong suit.
         “You want me to be your friend?”
         “Yes, but! You have to do something first. Kind of an initiation.”
         The room remained silent. The drips of food on the floor where the lunch lady stood was the only thing heard.
         “What do I have to do? I’ll do anything.”
         Billy stood up.
         “You have to go to the Brooklyn Bridge, and stand on the edge looking down, naked.”
         The room gasped. Vice Principal Buckner rushed to the table.
         “Okay now boys. That is not fair. You can’t do that, it’s – it’s, illegal and wrong, and dangerous. You can’t –”
         “I’ll do it.”
         Buckner pulled April away, but she refused to follow. He shook his head. April stared him in the eye, “I’m doing this. I need them to like me.”
         Whopping and cheering broke the silence. All the children had erupted in an uproar that overpowered any voice Vice Principal Buckner could possibly use. Billy lifted himself to his toes and said to April amongst all the screaming and cheering, “Four o’clock. Be there.”
         The bus got April home around 330p. There seemed to be no point in going home. It would take her an hour to just get to the bridge from there. She walked.
         By the time she had arrived, her face could resemble a Folgers Coffee Tin, red and shiny. Her heaving breath caused concern in passers by on the street.
         “Are you alright, child? Do you need to rest.”
         “I’m fine ma’am. Just an asthmatic.”
         When she arrived at the bridge, the entire middle school had set up chairs on the shoulder to watch. This was their form of sick entertainment. Begrudgingly, April made her way to Billy. She stood up straight, and wiped the sweat from her upper lip. She tugged at her shirt to not form a crease of her belly. She didn’t want to appear fatter than she was. She just stood in front of him. The group had quieted down to just the noise of the cars whizzing by.
         Her backpack fell by her feet. There was no need for hesitation. She wrapped her arms around the front of her waist. The bottom of her grey suit shirt was damp from sweat. She lifted her arms to reveal her putrid body. Layers of fat fell from her shirt making slight slapping sounds. Behind her, the clasp from her bra came off. It held on by one clasp. The other three had bent out of shape days ago, and days after buying it. For fun, she tossed her bra over the bridge. The smile on her face gave her confidence. The air caught it as it floated down to the river. She bent over and pulled the pants with her.
         She stood naked in front of her middle school and in front of traffic. All eyes were on her. Turning, the group gasped. Her first step to the top of the railing was wobbly. She gained her balance and took another step. She finally stood on the top of the railing.
         The tiny hairs between her legs tickled her thighs as the wind whispered by.
         Her mind wandered. The screaming and whooping faded away in her mind. The water was blue. It sparkled in the setting sun. It was almost mesmerizing. Her eyes glazed over as she stared deeply into the abyss. Her body moved back and forth slowly. She held on to the wire to keep from falling back. Every movement, she would fall further forward than back. The duck in the water seemed so calm, so perfect. Finally she leaned forward, letting go of the wire.
         The group continued to laugh and giggle. They didn’t even notice she had left. She had nothing left.