The Eyes

Fear is fickle, it exists in everyone, but in a variety of forms. A man who fights fire is afraid of heights, while a child who lives in her own imagination is haunted by shadows on her wall at night.

        I can tell you this much, our lives are based on our reaction to our senses. Without sight, smell, or vision, you face the unknown. To the average human being, the unknown is fear. You manifest in your own mind anything that you fear into the void that is left when the lights are off and your ears imagine things that don't exist. This is fear.

        If there is a forest near your home, I'm sure that you have somewhat explored it once or twice. Did you notice the trees cutting into your range of vision? Possibly. Did your pupils dilate to compensate for the diminished sunlight? Of course they did. In this particular atmosphere, did you ever stop to wonder that maybe, under these circumstances, you might see something that you didn't believe in? I did, but then I was looking for it.

        I moved to Oregon in September of 2006, away from the dusty desert lights of the Las Vegas strip. It was a welcome change with a pleasantly warm fall, devoid of the stench of sweat and dust that the desert offered. I had a family then and as they settled into our new home, nestled deep into the woods, I decided to explore. I ventured into the shadow of the tall pine trees, noting the position of the sun for my return trip.

        After a two-hour hike into the forest, I stopped. The false, pleasant grin fell from my face as I finally stopped to listen. There was nothing. No chirping birds, no traffic, not even the sound of my own voice, as I was too hypnotized by this silence to break it, as if something was physically stopping my mind from activating my vocal chords, but I liked it. Time had no meaning as I stood motionless, waiting for something to happen. It was as if I was isolated from everything I had ever known, lost in a small, circular grove of trees that quietly whispered to each other in the soft wind.

        I stood frozen within the forest for an immeasurable length of time, consciously wanting something to happen while secretly hoping nothing would, when eventually I understood. The forest is a place for individuals to experience their own thoughts, to reach for hidden creativity or bury horrible memories. It was deep inside a forest that I buried my secret, one that would never be found, one that would haunt the mind of anyone who dared venture to that particular spot in the woods. That secret came back to me as I inhaled the scent of rotting tree, and I embraced it.

        Now I have to ask you, are you ready to venture into the woods, to get lost with only your thoughts as your companion? Will you succumb to the fear that you have created by hiding an unfortunate event in your past? I don't need an answer because I know the outcome. It will drive you into a solitary, inescapable but quiet madness that you will never truly recover from.

        You don't believe me? Then go. When the sun has set, take a candle and walk until you are lost, away from humanity, away from streets and law and structure, and when all is dark and quiet, stand very still and blow out your flame. Fear will find you as long as you stay still, it will feed from your secrets and it will change you. Try it and see, you have nothing to lose after all, the trees will remember everything that you choose to forget.