This is a story about my relationship with my ex-fiance and how it ended. |
An overcast drapped over the true soul of an angel. Masking the imperfections so the outward appearance would satisfy the vision of his perfectly impossible girl. Disguising the deadly traits would eventually unveil with not a thought of consequence, loss, or those left broken hearted including herself. Though she strived to become accustomed to his life and accept his emotionless pleas of love for her, she still yearned for his compassion and guarantee that she was his world away from this Earth. At times she begged for his affection, a kind gesture, and intimate moments. Blindly humilliating her divine feminine in order to gain his approaval. Over time she she had come to terms with her new identity as a forgotten and unappreciated possesion he frolicked with when bored. It seemed he had lost interest in putting forth anymore effort to explore the greatness of their love. Which in turn resurected the tempted soul she thought she had burried. She turned to her dark traits of deception and destructive acts of carelessness for reasurment. As he entered the room she saw the hurt in his face, the swolleness of his eyes, and she realized that her unthoughtful actions and her selfish needs, destroyed the world he was creating. As he approached her with the hurt he feels inside and the heart that was broken in an instant, he turned away and she followed him outside. They began the solemn ride as she then purged her sins. Knowing that with every word that she spoke would penetrate his heart like a knife. Slashing his soul and shredding everything she had ever wanted and needed to make her a whole person. When the ride ended and the wounds were fresh, he turned to her looked in her eyes, then in one frail swoop hugged her and said, "Good-Bye." As he drove away, her thoughts were consumed by him and the pain he was experiencing from her hands. She could nothing to console him or understand what he was going through. She thought of her life before he came in. Even though at times he spoke to her harshly and sometimes said, "No," it was in fact the very thing her soul needed in order to grow and develop into the self-sufficient, sophisticated, humble, and loyal being she so wanted to be. But she had no idea how to rid her soul of the scandal and lies, for that was all she knew. Without him she never would have experienced stability and independence, doing everything in life to better herself for herself, not him or anyone else. She knew this all along and though her heart seemed secure her mind was in doubt. His tough love confused her mind body and soul and instead of gracefully following her heart, she ran full speed with her mind right off the very foundation she worked so hard to create. She watched herself drown in exactly that which she feared would destroy all that they had together. He will no longer stand by her side for her actions shattered his heart, thier dreams, and their life. She pictured all that they had endured, seeing too late that he truely did love her by sacrificing his time and effort in order to cope with her wild emotions. He recognized that she was doing so well on the path to a great normal life and he stood right there by her side. Believing she was great, loving her so much on the inside, struggling to let it out for the lack of knowing how to express it to her, but he did the best he could. Now all alone for the first time she analyzes her mistakes, admitting she is not perfect, and searching for the casue of her constant consumption of temptation. One way or another, she knows this time she caused much more hurt and must never allow herself to do it again. As time heals their wounds, she hopes for serenity between their souls, and that he does not hate her for all eternity. So to end this story, she prays to God for her faith and asks for forgiveness, and that the not so perfect but great love they shared is not forgotten because of the evil, but remembered for all that was good. In her heart he will always be her one and only. ~ Dedicated to Jonathon Hunter |