In Search of Father Sky

The following has been modified since I originally wrote it but is still relates to my experience of quantum physics during Theta Meditation at that time. I now realize that I had in a way opened up my own personal Pandora's box.

It is the second part of 1st workshop and I am still trying to get back to being a human being again after experiencing being a tree. I must say it was very difficult simply because I wanted to remain a tree forever. Imagine having so many sensations coursing through your mind, your body and every atom being tickled and stimulated at the same time but now I had to come back to being boring old me…it sucked!

However, I followed Norman’s new instructions and created my second ball of energy which I sent upwards to look for Father Sky. (the terms he used…Mother Earth, Father Sky… I was trying to figure out if I had been hijacked into a secret cult that was now trying to brain wash me since I could not see the relationship between quantum physics, theta and mother and fathers!) I thought to myself –

“You just became a tree so stop it and listen!”

I decide to still my over-active analytical, rational mind and focus on the instructions…

Now this ball of energy knew that it was not going to find Father Sky in one place so upon reaching deep into the cosmos it began to disintegrated and separate itself slowly into a gazillion little particles so that each one could go off to find Father Sky all over the universe where HE had of course dispersed himself.

At this point, I am actually quite contented that the energy ball has separated into a million gazillion particles because I know, given the previous experience that it is going to take a little while for all of this energy to come back to me, which means that I can carry on enjoying being a tree for a few more minutes/hours/days?... oh bliss… oh heaven!

Just as I start to see a shimmer of light in the deep black of the cosmos and feel a sprinkle of star dust on my shoulders, Norman instructs the group to expand/retract, (I cannot quite remember because I really was too busy being a tree and waiting with anticipation for what promised to be another brilliant extra sensorial experience) but reluctantly I try to follow his instructions. I know that I did as instructed but to be honest that part was sort of being remotely controlled by some part of me that was trying to focus on my teachers voice (Yes, Norman I did bring back the unconditional love and knowledge with me too and it is still here…somewhere…now where did I put it?)

Norman guides us back into our bodies and into reality and the group breaks up for the week. My mind is in a fog as I truly come to grips with the fact that I am still human with two legs made for walking. I remember thinking,

“I know that Father Skys’ gift is still out there having already been experienced and just waiting for me to remember it, which I will try to do before we all meet again for our group mediation next week, so it is not lost.”

At that stage, I do not understand just how every single core belief had just been shattered forever in just 3 short hours of my life. I also don’t realize that a lot of what I had sent out to Father Sky was still out there, floating around trying to find its way back!

One Week Later

It is the beginning of the next workshop and as we wait for the class to begin, we discuss how our week has been. One young lady is bug-eyed and looks as if she is still floating “out there”… she looks exactly, how I feel! As everyone shares the news of our week – we realize that we are all totally spaced out and have all had the same feelings of light-headedness and not quite being there, which reassures us that we are not losing our minds (in fact we actually lost them literally for a little while at least). We are ready to begin this weeks workshop during which we are to modify our DNA structure!

I really feel strange but cannot put my finger on it, except to say that I just generally felt “out of it”. I also felt that I had made a mistake and should not be doing this workshop because it was far out of my comfort zone. Since I was there though, I listened to Norman and followed his instructions concerning DNA modification and activation.

At the beginning of the first session, I remember seeing the stardust showering down onto me again as we went into the meditation and knew there was more out there but I was trying to understand and absorb the new information that I was being given about certain theories.

Norman began the class and was about to take us off somewhere, when I objected and explained what had been happening to each of us. I asked him if he could ground us properly, both before and after we went into the meditations. He asked the rest of the group what their thoughts were and they too all agreed. Things were much easier for the next meditations, however the effects of the 1st mediation were to carry on for some time before things finally settled.

This is the second work shop and I did finally catch up with Father Sky, or should I say, we caught up with each other somewhere in the vast cosmos.

Infinity
On the Thursday, we did a semi-guided meditation and in that one, I saw my body deconstruct. One minute I was sitting on my chair holding hands with those in my group, the next I looked down and could see my body slowly breaking down and separating into tiny cubes, which got smaller and smaller. It was like a cubist painting by Dali because it also included my clothes. My body started breaking down into tiny cubes about 10mm big. The cubes started floating away from me and going up into the sky, where they broke down into smaller and smaller pieces, then into particles, then into molecules and atoms.

I went back to find Father Sky and my molecules that I had left out there. Initially, I thought nothing was happening but this was because my rational mind was trying to follow each of the molecules, then I realized I was in a complete void. It was not a Black Hole nor was it just darkness. It was no-where and no-thing. There was no “thing” there to relate to, be it sound, smell, taste, visual or touch. It was a curious place to be in because there was no time, no air, no nothing…just the void.

There was a total absence of anything that could offer a point of reference since I was neither upright, nor upside down. There was no light, no dark. There was no sense of awe or thrill, no fear or doubts. The only thing there was, was a sensation of deep and utter peace and acceptance.

Father Sky showed me ∞…infinity…there is no description, for infinity IS AS IT IS. If for us humans, infinity represents, the vastness of an ocean or a desert or the night sky, try to imagine infinity, where our universe represents nothing but a nanomolecule x power 20. How then would one describe infinity?

I was also visiting many, many other universes and dimensions but although I know that I “saw” many things because each particle of me went somewhere else to find Father Sky in all of the places that He was, I do not recall, no that’s not right, I cannot relate what I saw and felt, except that I traveled very, very far and saw things that words cannot describe here because we do not have the words for it. When I came back to earth, I knew I had left a few more “bits” of me out there.


Two Weeks Later

By this time, I knew something was definitely not right at all and it had something to do with the Theta workshops. The girl, who was the most spaced out the previous week, now looked like a happy zombie! She definitely was not with us at all. I was feeling slightly better because at that time I was also doing a Reiki course and my teacher had given me some advice and crystals to ground myself with. The young lady that was so “badly” affected by the meditations was a scientific engineer, who seemed on the surface very rigid and unimaginative, so one could not classify her as New Ager Space Cadet. She was very confused. At the beginning of the workshop, I gave her the crystals I was carrying because I was certain that if she went off without them, she would not come back!

Another guy in the group had had an experience of having the urge to hug every single tree he came across, which of course made his life very difficult because we lived in Johannesburg, which has trees everywhere and in fact has the worlds biggest man-made forest! He said that the one day, he actually stopped his car on the side of the road and approached a tree which he said had hundreds of nails hammered in to it. He said that he spent the rest of the day pulling out the nails and he could feel and hear the trees pain!

One girl give up her job, broke up with her boyfriend and was in the process of moving house, all in the space of two week.

The final person in the group, had her normal senses amplified to a max. She could hear a pin drop from the other side of the house and she developed a photographic memory and speed-reading skills. She could just flick through a book and then recite anything in it verbatim from any page or paragraph.

Wow! All this in two out of six workshops! Me… I was on an accelerated learning curve – I was actually doing four different workshops or courses at that time and little else. I actually don’t know how I managed to do that without exploding or imploding.

Finding Father Sky

So, what happened during that first workshop? When we were instructed to send the energy to Father Sky, we did as we were told but did not try to see where the particles of ourselves went to. The young girl who developed extremely heightened senses who had remained entirely in touch with Norman and had therefore “collected herself” before coming back into the present reality at the end of the session, was the only one that had not left considerable amounts of herself floating around in the universe!

Following is part of what I saw when I went in search of Father Sky again and the reason why I was not all together for some time afterwards!

I had sent my energy ball far out into the cosmos. Immediately as soon as I went out, I had started to expand, expand, expand, far, far out into the furthest reaches of the Universe. Every single part of my body had separated into its tinest sub atom and gone in search of Father Sky, which meant that every single sub-atom was on a mission of its own, going out there and as it did, gathered information!

One of the things that I saw at that time was massive amounts of energy swirling around in the cosmos, with purpose. I saw intense energy moving between planets. This energy all seemed to be coming from the same source but it was not hitting any of the solid matter that it came across, whether they were meteorites, stars or planets, it would move around it. The energy source was all powerful and pure, untainted, undiluted energy.

Extract from my journal
Nov 5 2006

There appears to be one energy source beaming energy around the planets. It is not hitting the planets or the stars. It is flowing around the whole Universe (pulsating out from the central source) but then it hits a “mirror” and is bounced back, I suppose it is similar to a “ping” in technical terms but it is not that either because it does not go back along the same path. It is flowing out in multiple directions when it comes back but the initial source of energy is emanating from one point only. It is uncontaminated coming from the right hand side.

“The energy source is GOD. The energies that come back are EXPERIENCES?!?” Thoughts, tainted with different experiences. The energy source is the original creation.

Norman shows us the cycle of the soul as beginning at the light source “GOD” starting from nothing and returning to nothing.

I attempted to draw representations of what I had seen and was still not satisfied with the results since neither what I had written nor drawn conveyed what I had seen.

Question – why would the energy flow around the stars and the planets? If it is thought or unconditional love, then surely it would have to go into the planets in order to be transformed and released back out? The other odd thing was though the energy was not flowing in an expected manner, there was no sense of chaos. It was not harmonious but it was as it is supposed to be. Communication! I had a definite sense of communication. Frantic chatter!. Sense of urgency but controlled. The means of communication were not within the natural Laws of the Universe.

- End of extract –

What had happened during our first Theta Meditations, was that we had sent pieces of our selves out there throughout the Universe, like computer memory chips but we had not retrieved them all when we came back to the present reality. Each particle had gathered some information and we when we started to reintegrate those parts of ourselves that were still out there, we would get very vivid information, which appeared to be totally isolated from every thing else.

The spaciness and the feeling of not being quite there, was real. We had been guided to send our energies out and expand into the cosmos, which we had done but we had not had time to collect all of our bits and peaces before returning to our physical bodies.

Each time I think of this experience, I have extremely strong memories and images of Salvador Dali’s works. What I see in parallel to this experience is Dali’s paintings of an initial scene or portrait but as one zooms in, one can see that it is composed of a million other paintings, within paintings within paintings. He is very present when I write this and I feel that if I connected with him directly, I could paint these scenes as I see them and as he painted them.

I have been told several times anyone can draw and paint. We all have it within us. I have the urge to learn at times because sometimes my words cannot portray what I see. The images are very vivid and are still very clear in my mind and I hope to find someone who can paint them some day.

Each time I re-visit this particular meditation, I understand more of what I experienced. At the time, I was still trying to understand what Theta was and what it had to do with Quantum Physics and God. I am just realizing now that I saw the Source, that from which all is created.

The reason why the energy circulated around the solid matter is because that is what we tap into and where we send our energies. It is not that it exists separately it is more like a the original source of creation and because it is so intense and so powerful, we are not required to receive the full amount in order to exist, we use what is necessary and then send back our own energy in it’s modified form, what we send back as individuals is so subtle, that I could not see it in my initial visions. I was after all, looking at the broader picture at that time.

I have since reclaimed all that belongs to me in a recent mediation and I know that is why I can now see why the energy appeared to move in the manner in which it is moving. Once our collective energies are dispersed back into the cosmos, it becomes the flow of the other “chaotic” energy that I could see.

The change in the Universal Laws of communication that I had sensed, I now understand it to be that we, here on Earth have been given and are now accepting to use our own free-will to tap directly into the Source and to manifest our own realities for the highest good of all. The powers that we once had during the first reign of “intelligent” beings during the time of Atlantis and Lemuria are being returned to us.

Today, I think I now understand the correlation between Theta, quantum physics and God... kind of!