J.U.S.T. M.E

E veryday is the beginning of the rest of my life. I'm a twenty-five years young and the single mother of four.I crave self-improvement but don't have anything going on for myself. Every goal I have set has resulted in failure and ambition has completely drained me.I don't hate my life but I hate being trapped in the mental institution of my own mind.
Imagine being trapped in a maze strategically designed for engineers or MIT graduates and the wealthy.And you are among the undereducated and less fortunate who never find their way out. Yet, you are determined because you know piece of mind awaits on the outside.
Distracted by ridicule and hate homage you lose focus. You are frowned upon for bringing four innocent lives into the mist.
The lives that offered you freedom while being conceived.
The lives that gave you purpose and strength to continue after years of incompetence.
The lives that give you a reason to care in a world where no one cares.
The lives that you don't regret.
Consumed with confusion you desperately seek guidance.Only to find yourself among those who lack there of or have been wrongfully guided and don't see a way out.
Refusing to mislead the pure souls that look up to you and crave understanding you alienate yourself from the world around you.
Overwhelmed by drama & distress you no longer see a way out.
All the possibilities have become impossible.
Optimism becomes pessimism.
Lost in your own thoughts your kids watch you drown in misery and are disappointed.
They rebel against their natural instinct.
They question...
How do we keep hope alive when we saw her die?