Will you ever know?

Will you ever know,
why I originally said 'NO'.
Past lives taught,
The word 'friend' no longer holds meaning.

Will you ever know,
the wave of hate that engulfed me.
All for
showing love to another humang being.

Will you ever know,
the life I gave up for you.
Fame and fortune offered
a very tempting view,

Will you ever know,
the scorn your family showed
sticks and stones
could never hurt as much as the words that they chose.

Will you ever know,
how many times I went home sad.
depressed to see,
your soul get attacked like mad.

WIll you ever know,
how much it hurts,
when I'm on the outside
thrown to the curb, like I'm worthless.

Will you ever know,
how close the end was.
Thinking maybe,
it was time for me to go home.

Will you ever know,
the demons I endured
cackling and laughing
at the fool I had become.

Will you ever know,
how much I enjoyed a talk.
Even if it was nothing,
more than hearing about your socks,

Will you ever know,
how much I miss hearing the words "I Love you"
Something I swore,
I never wanted from another being.

Will you ever know,
how much fun I had,
when we played,
the simplest of games; even if I had to lose.

Will you ever know,
how much I want to see your life glow.
You have wings of an eagle,
and it makes me proud to see that eagle ready to soar

WIll you ever know,
How much I want to help,
Giving you a life
Where love and mercy are there for you

WIll you ever know?
A question I've always asked.
for now, until you are ready, the answer will always remain the same.