im being that psycho again

who am i?
swimming in tides of blue?
nothings real.
this feeling is new.
bitterness
is just a word.
unless you are feeling it too.
i hate that this is completely one-sided.
all because of you.
cut away the dirtiness.
and all the shame i feel.
the scars are a dead give away
of how all this is actually real.
the cuts don't need to be treated
my heart is the one that needs to heal.
but i can't get better.
oh no no no not yet.
because remember those pills you hid from me?
well you are not the only one who can steal.
so tonight im going to numb the aches, pains and despair.
while you let your EXboyfriend put his hands down your underwear.
but just remember one thing,
if only one thing ever at all.
you are completely responsible this time
for my downfall.