BLANK

Its been almost a week now and im in a strange frame of mind.I do not know how to express it.There are lots of thoughts running in and out of my mind yet i feel as if im all blank.A strange thing keeps happening to me all the time just the way you climb up a hill.my life starts well but just within the time span of six months I start comming down.What does this mean?Everything was going on well suddenly things mess up on petty issues and boom everything falls apart.On every such turn in my life i grow weak i feel like running away from the situation. I know thats not the way to deal with things, its pointless to run away from a situation.But i still wonder why am i the chosen one,just when i feel that everythings going on fine why is there a sudden break? Im sick and tired of the same kind of things happening in my life.A few months of dignity a few months of sucess a few months of work and fun and then again humiliation,tension,tears gloomy feeling,feeling of being let down,exhausted and then the desire to run away,to hide at home or the worst of all to kill myself.I have gone through the worst of times any girl of my age must have gone through and surprisingly im alive.But im fed of this life that im leading.I know no one in this world must be having a perfect life but still i dream that one day will come when i will have a cosy home a loving family and not lots of money but atleast that much which will fullfill our basic needs.Early mornings breakfast together, then preparations for lunch then a peaceful dinner together.Im waiting for such a life, hope i can live it soon...im clinging on to that one dream....hope it dosent get too late.