A Dream returns an old friend

         I am startled awake by the sound of the Temptations , a frantic cacophony that reverberates in my ears throughout the dark room. What in God's name is that?.... I struggle to get out of bed, the covers hopelessly tangling around my feet. Finally extricating myself, I race around to the other side. After fumbling for a few endless seconds, I locate the volume dial and kill the noise. I stand there, trying to recover, my heart pounding. My breath comes in short gasps while I glare at the inanimate monster. Not a foot away, my husband lies peacefully, his familiar snores continuing as if nothing has happened. He's obviously set his alarm by accident.  "Bastard!", I scream to myself.

         This unspoken expletive diffuses my anger somewhat and I return to my side of the bed. Resting on the edge, I take a deep breath in an effort to clear my head. Slowly, my thoughts return to the dream, so abruptly interrupted. I was very afraid. I needed to warn someone...Who was it? There. I can see her now, my neighbor, my confidant, all those years ago. It's been at least twenty years since I've seen Cathy, but the memories are surprisingly vivid.

         It was my first real home, a trilevel with a large willow tree in the front yard...the tiny garden I was so proud of...sitting on the grass beside it with my daughter...picking lice nits from her hair.  Six year old Katie was crying, clearly upset at this terrible indignity. I had left work early to pick her up at school. In the office, she had sat with five other students. All heads were lowered in shame, and my heart breaks all over again as I recall the pitiful scene.

         The dream, yes. My neighbor. Cathy had come over that day with a popsicle in hand, just for Katie. She was always doing thoughtful things like that. What would I have done without my friend during  those years? Cathy lived in the ranch adjacent to ours and most afternoons the two of us would meet at the fence that separated our properties. The sound of the school buses would herald the beginning of the chaotic hours until dinnertime. We'd watch the children descend from the bus, and within a minute there were bookbags, lunch boxes, and sweaters piled at our feet. The six children would speed off to one of the two yards, reveling in their freedom. Our job was to intercede when necessary. A  struggle over a toy, a scraped knee, requests for snacks, the list was endless. Cathy and I passed the time together, still standing at the fence. Later we'd go inside to our respective kitchens to prepare dinner. Usually one of us would call the other, and we'd talk until one of us had the food on the table and had to go. We talked about everything. Our husbands' annoying habits, the laundry hamper that was always full, the exhaustion, the sheer enormity of our responsibilities. Our friendship was  a liferaft, rescuing us from despondency on a daily basis. We were buoyed, tethered to the knowledge that we were neither isolated nor alone. It was a happy time, in retrospect. I just didn't realize or fully appreciate it at the time. The future would separate the two of us. Too many miles would lie between us. The shared fence would stand empty and the yards would be still and quiet.

         The dream, yes. I just need to remember what happened...Where was she?...That's right...Cathy was in the bedroom of her house, pulling clothes off hangers and stuffing them into several suitcases. She seemed terrified. The children were waiting by the back door. They were leaving to go somewhere and I felt desperate to warn her of something. My only impulse was to get her attention and stop her from leaving me. I ran to the back door, but the knob wouldn't turn and fiddling  with the deadbolt accomplished nothing. I raced back up the stairs to the second level where the front door was located. Again, the lock wouldn't budge. Next I attempted to pry open every window in the house. When that didn't work, I attempted to shatter each one with a hammer. I peered through the window of our bedroom just in time to see Cathy load the kids in the car and drive away. I  never saw her again. That was my dream. What the hell did it all mean? What had happened to Cathy?.     

         I wrote this a little over two months ago and re-discovered it this morning. Do you want to know the "rest of the story?". It's short and sweet. Soon after the dream, I was able to  e-mail Cathy, thanks to my daughter's encounter with her daughter on MySpace. She came over to my house one afternoon recently and I hugged her in  bizarre amazement. Nothing about our friendship had changed. We each had been through many changes since last we met, but this one fact remained. We would always be friends. It was such a comforting realization for me, and a testimony to the statement "Life is good". Now we talk every day via e-mail. The twenty years feel like a brief turn of the page, although I curse my stupidity in not contacting her sooner. What did my dream mean? This is less clear to me. It was certainly a call to action, but it also flooded my mind with questions. Would keeping our friendship alive have changed the outcome of my last twenty years? Probably not. Would my heart have been lighter on countless occasions? Most certainly yes. What possessed me to travel the dark years in between alone, without my friend? Where was I when she needed me?

Well, what's done is done and I curse my passive acceptance of the situation. At least the future is ours to share and I thank God for sending me the frightening nightmare that was really a dream come true in disguise.