Blue Tomb...first draft

I'm not sure where exactly this will fit in the final story.  I haven't quite decided if I will end it with the death of the main characters, or if I will use this as a prologue, to a detective's story about a case that has haunted him.

The original idea of the story is based on a mystery that has plagued my hometown for over 20 years, when the remains of a woman and child (later discovered to be closely related through forensics) were found by hunters in a remote area in a state park, but close to residential areas.  To this day, the remains have never been identified.  This story will be fiction, based on my ideas of what might have happened and details discovered during investigations, though some have not been substantiated, but speculated.

So, here it is, please feel free to comment.  I know it needs some work, but until I decide where the story is going, I have deliberately left out some details.

The night wind snapped across her face as she held her daughter’s hand.  Early September can be an unpredictable time in New England.  The warmth of Summer was no longer in their favor, but they could not turn back now.  They had come too far.  Even death would be more welcoming to them than the nightmare they had escaped.  Aimee gave her daughter a reassuring glance, “We’re almost there, baby.  I know you’re cold, but we’ll be there in just a few more miles.”

Headlights bounced off the trees ahead of them, indicating a car approaching.  With the narrow road, and non-existent  shoulder, they made there way into the edge of the forest.  Aimee’s heart raced.  Every time a car approached them, it would race, but she remained calm.  “He can’t know where we are.  He doesn’t even know Rachel and Dan.  It’s just a local who lives further up the road.  Be calm, Kelley is counting on you.” she reminded herself.  The car finally came closer, and began to slow.  It stopped.  Aimee’s heart nearly stopped too and then abruptly began to race.  An elderly man, maybe in his late 60’s got out of the car, and Aimee’s pulse slowed a bit.  “Need a ride ladies?  I fear winter is trying to arrive before fall this year.  This road is too dark, and it’s far too dangerous for you two to be walking it alone.”

“I appreciate it sir, but I’m not sure just exactly where my friend lives.  Do you know of a place near here where we could call them?  I know we can’t be far, but in the dark, I’m afraid I’ve lost my bearings a little.”

“Oh sure dear, I’m sure my wife will invite you to our place, and you are certainly welcome to come.  We could give your friends directions.  If they live near here I’m sure it will be easy enough for them to find.”

“Oh, thank you, but….we really would rather not impose.”

“Nonsense!  It’s no imposition!  We even have 3 extra bedrooms, if you need a place for the night.  Our grandkids don’t get out here as often as we like, but we still keep room for them.”

“Thank you, sir but…”

“William, Bill if you will.  Please, I’m catching a chill myself, please come to the car.  If you really insist on not coming to the house, there’s a convenience store about a mile and a half up the road.  I think they have a payphone there.”

“Thank you…that would be just fine.  I’m Aimee, and this is my daughter Kelley.  Our car broke down on New Rye Road, and we’ve been walking for quite sometime.  I’m afraid it’s taken a bit longer than we had expected to get this far.”

“Sure sure…come on, get in the car…it’s nice and warm.  Besides, my wife will send out a search party if we don’t return soon.” he laughed a full bellied laugh.  Aimee looked down at Kelley and saw something she hadn’t seen in over a year.  She saw a smile on her daughter’s face.