The Proposal

I hope she says yes. I hope she does, I hope she does. All this planning, I bought her a nice ring. I hope she says yes, I can't take rejection, not now. She is everything, I hope she accepts, please please. I hope I don't appear uptight or nervous, but all of this pressure is pushing down on me. I've worked and thought this out for weeks. She has to say yes!


So Jessica, how's your day going? Work okay?


Let me small talk her up to the proposal, have a casual build up. I don't want to rush, and just blurt out, "Will you marry me?". I want to slowly push her in. Maybe I should have done something more romantic, like ask her on a billboard and point up to it, as I drive her by or something. Maybe I could have done more than having us sit here at our favorite restaurant. Which is a casual place...alright Chilis, maybe I could have done something more, but I really like her, I love her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Now she's telling me about her day at work and how it agrivated her, and how her co workers annoy her. Alright, time to ensure her, that work is work, and people are jerks.

Ah, I'm sorry babe. Work is work, there will always be people
who don't get it, and are losers. That's how my work is as well.


Smooth, give me a blue star, what a solid reassurance come back. Now look at her, smiling, and waving her hand through her hair. She's so cute when she does that. Her reddish hair, and her expression could make any man fall to his knees. Everything is going fine so far, everything according to plan. Good good. Now we'll get our food soon, and I'll pop the question eventually after that. I'm feeling good, I'm feeling alive, good good. Keep it up Jake, keep it up, keep it up! Now she's talking about us, and how it's good to have a man like me who listens to her and cares. Gosh, this is going better then I expected. Time for another knockout punch.


Jessica, you are my everything, listening is the least I can do. I
love you. I love us, I've told you this before, but I can't put enough
emphasis on how much you mean to me. You're the best thing that has
ever happened to me.


I don't think a person could cool me off with a fire extingusher, I'm on fire. Everything is coming out so good. My true feelings are being released, this feels so good. I feel like a...a, something . I wish I felt like this everyday. Man, now look at her, with her rosey cheeks as she smiles a bit, saying I'm too good for her, and that shes the luckiest girl in the world to have a man like me. She takes a sip from her drink, before staring back at me with her bold, yet innocent emerald eyes. The type of eyes, that make you feel like you're falling in to endless blankets of clouds. She's amazing. Sh..She..she...fuckk, I lost my train of thought, those dumb eyes, I mean those beautiful eyes. What's she saying now? I've lost focus, come on Jake, listen, regroup. Oh, she's saying that she's really hungry.


Me too, my stomach is growling.


Damn it, I could have come up with something more then that. Oh well, it wasn't that bad. I mean, I am hungry too. What else could I've said? Man, it's getting hot in here. The sounds of families chatting, the clinks of dishes being carted away. Come on Jake, you can do this. Loosen up, loosen up, don't sweat, don't sweat. Fuck I'm sweating I think. Now she's looking at me with a blank face. Uh oh...I wasn't listening to her. Ah man, what do I say, what do I say...

Jessica...I love you.


Oh boy, hopefully I pulled that off. Now she's looking at me with a sly grin, as she smirks. She's telling me that she loves me too. Here comes the waitress now with our food. Time is running out, the proposal is looming. Keep your cool Jake, pace yourself. The waitress hands us our food, as we get ready to eat.

25 Minutes Later


Mmm, that was pretty good.


That chicken finger basket, would of tasted better if I wasn't under so much pressure. Oh boy, I feel the sweat under my arms pick up. The time is now, oh man. We'll be getting the check soon, alright, alright, here it goes....whew..


Jessica....


She's looking at me with her cute face.


You are my everything, my love...


Slowly I get the ring case out.


Jessica...will you marry me?



...Seconds seemed like hours, as I nerviously watched my girlfriend's expression. She looked in shock, like she had just seen her cell phone bill or a ghost. A few seconds more, and I think I drop dead. She then slowly smiles a fake smile, and slowly shakes her head and begins saying she's not ready for that kind of commiment. I could feel my heart slowly slide down to my stomach, like a sponge on a window, millions of butterflies crashing into eachother, a feeling of rejection. A feeling of blah...Before I know it, I'm throwing up on the table. Oh god no. No, no, no, no, no! This is not how it was planned. This is far worse then what was planned. I can see Jessica covering her mouth in shock, as I place my head down on the remaining clean spot on the table. I feel like crying, I feel like kicking a wall as hard as I can, until I put a hole in it. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, until my voice goes out. This is not good. I don't feel like picking my head up, I don't feel like looking at everyone's faces, this humilation is so blah.