A Woman's Worth

It had been over a year since the physical nightmare ended. The mental one…well that took much longer. From time to time, the memories would invade her thoughts, affecting her physically. Sometimes, she would wake up screaming in tears or clutching her abdomen writhing in pain. But tonight, she was going to set that all aside. She was going to clear her mind and allow herself to experience something new.

He was the one who rescued her a year ago, pulling her free from her captor’s grasp. He told she was safe and that he would always protect her. Six months ago, with a ring he told her before God that he would always love her. And tonight he was going to show her how much he meant what he said. He waited for half a year. Was she finally ready?

She wasn’t sure what to expect truthfully. Her only experiences had been ones of pain and humiliation. Her captor used her as his personal toy. She had been his to do his bidding—anytime, anyplace—even with his cohorts—a reward if they did as he wished. The night he stole her from the meadow, he took her in front of them all. Ripping her blouse open—exposing her to all those viewing. He used the blade to trace a path from her neck between her breasts to just below her navel. He told her if she struggled he wouldn’t just “tease” her with the dagger this time. He lifted her skirts and pulled away the thin fabric veiling her most intimate part. She closed her eyes and turned away. Silent tears.

She screamed.

The pain was excruciating. It felt as if he was ripping her in half. They roared with laughter, cheering him. Each angry thrust more intense, more aggressive then the last. The rocks he put her scratched at her back—scratching her back as he tore away her dignity. She felt him shudder against her…he was finally done. When he pulled out, there was blood. “So she truly was a virgin,” the men bellowed. That the first of many days and nights of torture. She would have to service him and his men to survive.

As she looked at herself in the mirror now, preparing for the evening ahead, the scars from a year ago were still evident. The bite marks on her breasts. The scars from the blades and nails along her inner thighs. What would he say when he saw them? Would they even matter? She couldn’t think about that now. She continued to put on the white lace dress he had given her. He had told her that she was pure to him despite all that happened.

When he had rescued her, she was pregnant. She didn’t know which one had fathered the baby she was carrying adding to her shame. He vowed to care for her and the child, no matter what. The baby was innocent—knowing nothing of the sins of her father.

As the day of the birth drew closer, he was at her bedside taking care of her. Feeding her. Brushing her hair. Bathing her. He was there when she went into labor during the wee hours of the morning. The midwife coached her through as he held her hand and kissed her forehead. She couldn’t remember much about the birth. She must of fainted because of the pain.

When she awoke, there was a tiny figure beside her in the bed. A little girl with dark hair and eyes like her own. As he watched her reach out to touch her, he told her that he would always protect them.

He became a father to her child. Caring for and loving her as if she was his own. The baby seemed to bring a joy to his life. She smiled softly at the thought. As she pulled the dress over her stomach, she slowly covered the evidence of carrying a child. As the hem of the dress brushed her feet, she could see the shading of the panties he wanted her to wear. The lace of the dress gave slightly over the expanse of her full breasts—visible through the sheer fabric.

She released her locks. They fell like a cascade of a waterfall around her shoulders.  Raven-haired. Thick. The curls reminiscent of a lamb’s wool. He always told her how beautiful he thought her hair was. The thought of his admiration warmed her. As she ran her fingers through her hair, she noticed how her chocolate skin glowed in the candlelight. For the first time, she thought of herself as beautiful.

There was a gentle knock at her door. He was here. She put the white satin robe over the dress and went into the main area. She answered the door. He smiled as she let him in. In his hands, a dozen white roses and a bottle of wine.

He had the servants bring up table settings for the two of them. The servants set out the meal. The scent of the well-seasoned food and the freshly baked bread was enticing. The cook smiled at her and nodded slightly and exited with a knowing glance.

The meal was delicious. The taste exciting her palate. He opened the wine and poured two glasses. It’s aromatic scent mixing with the scents of the meal they just finished.

She looked down nervously at her glass of wine. Sensing her discomfort, he put his hand on hers. She looked up into his dark eyes as he kissed her hand gently. Looking at his mahogany skin contrasting against hers as he held her hand excited her. His salt-and-pepper hair. His smooth skin. His neatly clipped goatee. He was beautiful. He drew her in closer and kissed her lips.

They moved from the sitting room to the bedroom. He kissed her forehead and her nose. He tilted her head up to him and kissed her lips again. His lips so soft against hers. His hands loosened the tie of the robe.

When he pulled away, he let out a satisfied sigh. He had brushed the robe off her shoulders and it had fallen to the floor exposing the beautiful lace gown he had given her to wear that night. She looked exquisite. He led her to the bed.

With her back to the bed, he gently reached under her hair to unfasten the gown, pulling it softly down her body. His hands grazed her breasts as he pulled down the dress. She caught her breath. As he continued the pull the thin fabric over her full hips, he was now down on his knees. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips brush her stomach. He was kissing her once pregnant belly. When the dress finally hit the floor, she felt her self very exposed. She stood before him in nothing more than a satin panty. Her body and all its imperfections and scars in full view. “You are so beautiful.”

He removed his robe baring his broad chest and shoulders. The bulge in his red satin pants gleamed in the candlelight. He gently laid her back on the bed, his body slightly covering hers. He kissed her lips, then her chin, then her neck. The feelings of excitement and nervousness were running through her body. She felt his hands running over her breasts followed by his tongue across her nipples. They rose to attention. He lips continued their journey down her body. His tongue teasing her navel slightly. His kisses on a journey. Over the rise of her panties and further down. She could feel his hot breath through the thin fabric.

He kissed her deeply--his tongue teasing her through the satin. A moan escaped her. She shuddered against his lips. Her reaction shocked her. So much so that she didn’t even feel him remove the panties. Next thing she knew he was looking deeply into her eyes. He pulled her naked body against his. She felt his excitement against her hip. He felt her tense as it touched her. “I will never hurt you.”

They tasted each other’s lips. They hands exploring each other’s body. Her hands nervous. His so sure of what he wanted. He took her hand and placed it on himself. He guided her fingers to wrap around him. She felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. He kissed them away. “Don’t be afraid.”

He rolled her over onto her back. His body fully covering hers. His hands gently spreading her legs apart. He lifted himself off her for a second. She felt him at the entrance to her body. “Don’t turn away. I want to see your eyes.”

Just as the words left his lips, he entered her. She grasped his shoulders and inhaled deeply. He was so gentle. So loving. His thrusts firm but gentle. “I will always love you.”

“I love you too.”

She allowed the words to leave her lips. An invitation for the passion to intensify. She felt herself shuddering again and again in excitement. The last time he did too. They drifted to sleep entangled in each other’s embrace.

A knock at the door woke her. She opened her eyes to see him still sleeping beside her. It wasn’t a dream after all. She gently freed herself from his grasp and went to the door. Still nude, she opened the door slightly to see the nurse with her daughter in hand. “She missed you, ma’am.”

Smiling softly, she opened the door fully. Not caring that she was not clothed. The nurse could see him asleep in the bed. As she handed the baby to her, the nurse kissed her cheek. “You deserve his love.”

She gave the woman a tear-filled smile. “Thank you.”

As she stepped back into the bedroom, the nurse closed the door. She turned with the baby and headed back to the bed. He was now awake and smiling. With open arms he welcomed them into the bed…holding them both close. “Welcome home.”

A year ago, she would never have thought that she would be here. Loved. Cherished. Honored. Mother. Lover. Wife.