VIRGIL BEAVER - alternative endings

These are three alternative endings for "VIRGIL BEAVER" :

FIRST ENDING:

         Sally and me went to his funeral.  His mama laid Betty Boop right on his belly, and the three of us just cried and cried.  But that was a long time ago, and I'm not gonna' think about that right now.  I got more important things to do.

         Where'd Sally go?  She must be in the restroom again powderin' that cute nose of hers.  I love Sally.


SECOND ENDING:

         Sally and me went to his funeral.  His mama laid Betty Boop right on his belly, and the three of us just cried and cried.  But that was a long time ago, and I’m not gonna' think about that right now.  I got more important things to do.

         You ever been coon huntin’?  Me and Virgil went coon huntin’ once with the boys.  I never hit no coons, but Virgil hit one.  His mama skinned it and made him one of those hats like Daniel Boone.  He liked that hat.  He wore it like a banner. 

         I don’t go coon huntin’ much anymore.  Since Virgil died, I never had a reason.  I never liked killin’ things anyway.  Maybe that’s why I couldn’t shoot.  You have to keep your eyes open to hit the target.  I guess I’ll stick to tin cans.   

         Me and Sally got us a couple youngens’ now.  Ever’ once in a while when it’s bedtime, I tell ‘em a story or two about Virgil and me.  They never get tired of those stories.  They’re always sayin’, Daddy, tell us the one about Betty Boop again.  They like to hear about Virgil and Betty Boop.  Sometimes tears come to my eyes, and then my voice gets real low and crackly.  That’s when I have to turn out the lights and say good-night. 

         I got another friend now.  His name’s Harold Woodaw.  He’s got real long teeth like a beaver.  Sometimes I look at him and can’t help but remember Virgil.  His last name was Beaver, you know.  Harold smiles real big and all you can see is them long white beaver teeth.  He’s got a real funny laugh.  He kinda’ squenches up is nose and honks and makes swishy noises through them teeth.  He’s quite a character. 

         Harold got him a job at the mine not too long after Virgil died.  I guess they needed more help.  He’s a couple years younger than Virgil and me.  He’s got a real girlfriend -- not like Betty Boop.  She’s real skinny and has a long hook nose and beady eyes.  If she had feathers, she’d look like a hawk.  Her name’s Barbie, but she ain’t no Barbie doll. 

         Ever’ once and a while, Sally throws a party and Harold and Barbie come over.  We play cards and watch TV after the kids go to bed.  Me and Sally play cards real good.  We beat Harold and Barbie almost ever’ time, and we don’t cheat neither. 

         Well, it’s getting’ late, and I have to go to bed.  Tomorrow’s Monday and I have to get up before dawn to get to work on time.  We’ll talk more later. 


THIRD ENDING:

         A day or two after Virgil got runned over, me and Sally went to his funeral.  Big mama kissed Virgil’s cold dead lips and laid Betty Boop on his belly.  Then the undertaker closed the lid and we cried.  But that was a long time ago.

         You ever been coon huntin’?  Me and Virgil went coon huntin’ one time with the boys.  I never hit no coons, but Virgil hit one.  His mama skinned that ‘ole coon and made Virgil one of them Daniel Boone hats.  After shootin’ that coon, he wore that hat everywhere --- except for the mine of course.  At the mine, we wear these bright yellow hard hats geared up with a flashlight that shines out over yur’ forehead.

         I don’t go coon huntin’ no more.  Since Virgil died, I never had a reason.  Killin’ animals never appealed to me much and I just couldn’t shoot straight anyways.  You have to keep your eyes open to hit anything, and I can’t bear to watch.  I’ll stick to tin cans. 

         After Virgil went to a higher place, it was a long time before I had fun with the boys again.  I still miss Virgil.  He was so dumb he was funny.  Dumb people make nice companions --- they’re just real regular.  You don’t have to act real smart or say cute stuff.  You can just talk and talk and laugh and look at stupid floaty pens all night, and never get bored.

         Me and Sally got down to business a few years back and had us a couple youngens’.  When it’s bedtime, I’m the appointed storyteller --- always tellin’ tales about Virgil and me.  They never get tired of it --- always sayin’, Daddy, tell us about Betty Boop.  Sally says they’re tryin’ to prolong the inevitable.  That’s okay; I enjoy sittin’ with them too.  Sometimes when they’re just startin’ to nod off, tears come to my eyes, and my voice gets low and crackly.  That’s when I turn out the lights and whisper good-night. 

         It’s been a while since me and Virgil had fun together, yet in my mind it seems only a few days ago when we were shootin’ guns, laughin’ or runnin’ frantic into the house after one too many scary stories. 

         Besides a good wife, a man needs a friend or two he can count on.  I am privileged to have known a good man named Virgil Beaver.

This third ending is the one I finally decided to go with.