"I am alone."

"I am alone." For many people, this phrase is a sad one. This is something to be avoided. It is not good to be "alone." I thought so too, when I didn't have a choice, when I was in a house with no windows, no doors, no outlet but study and my imagination. Outside of the house, I was alone in my culture group at school. I was alone in my financial status. I was alone in my knowledge.

Alone, I cried out, "Why can't I be like the others?! Why can't I be in the crowd?! Why am I alone?" I told myself I was "too poor, too smart, . . . too different." These were the reasons I avoided strangers, pulled away from the people around me. These were the reasons I was alone.

Being alone went from a state of being, to a state of mind. Yet . . . being alone, I thought. I studied. I observed and realized that being alone was not a diesease. Being alone saved me from the pressures of what friends think. Being alone gave me time to study and observe and choose for myself, alone, what I think.

Yes, I am alone, but not for the reasons I had been telling myself for all these years. I am alone because I chose my views. I am alone because I am my resposibility. I am alone because I am in charge of my future. It doesn't mean I have no friends. Friends can support and advise. It just means that even in a crowd, the final decision of my actions and beliefs are made by me . . . alone.