SaD SoCiaL HaNDiCaPS ToDaY

So lately I've realized how desperate and truly pathetic people are today. It's late, it's early, however you look at it…it's after ..midnight. The late night Re-runs of the shows I've seen way more than enough to quote are coming to an end. You squint your eyes at your computer screen, your half dead cellular device, the on demand feature on your Comcastic Television and wonder how in the hell did it get so late?? Im not even drowsy… Did I have a case of Red Bull or something?? Time just flew on by. You're about to take initiative, exert yourself to the max with a little exercise all the way to the tv… since somehow throughout the day you misplaced the remote. I'm seriously thinking about getting an elaborate noise maker of some kind. Including a family share plan for my keys. Like I push a button and a marching band emerges. No better yet hook it up with some amps subs and speakers and show up the local Cadillac boucing boys in town. Enable it with itunes so I can dance around and release the negative energy building from yet again misplacing my very much needed items with a little Spice Girls. Yea I'd be jamming with the hottest group in London! You know they set up a reunion tour and it SOLD OUT!! Time to take out the ol' kladhopper shoes and fake brittish accent. I'm not sure about you but maybe there should be an age limit for who we allow tweens and teens to "fall madly in-love" with. I mean BSB is making new CD's too! But wait…this second latest CD is without Kevin! Backstreet BOYS? Hmm… wondering when do they turn into men? If they are still dating (especially very young girls) that's quite sad I must say. Living up to boy band heart throb image… If that's the case they should join E-Harmony or some other website for dating online. No gay section on E-Harmony sadly, so if 'NSYNC decided to date they'd have to find another website for Lance. They'd be one of the gloating people that I see all the time saying oh I'm so great (I'm so successful and cool) but E-Harmony rejected me. It's one thing to think you are single and cant get a date normal ways…but it's a brilliant idea to go on t.v. and not only truly embarrass yourself, but also show how much of a loser you are you cant even get a date online where daily, perverted 45 year old men are "model like bootylicious 18 year old girls." Even weird unattractive people can find dates…and here you are (lower than) them?? In your case "success" got you FAILURE. All of a sudden I see the ripped guys, the lingerie models, you know the dating services. I'm happily involved, but I give it the ol' 15 seconds of fame chance. "I'm adventurous," one states "I'm hott" observes another. "I'm not ready to go to bed yet, call and meet singles in your area!" If they are such a great catch, why are they slumming it not only on a dating line, but also their break through advertising is on for the perverts and not exactly the kind you bring home to mom hour? Dating services aren't the only places people today are using their social and personal handicaps to try and "get to know people." Myspace, Facebook, Beasttoast, Hi5 or any other online "place for friends" provides millions and billions at your finger tips. Creating all the info about you, all the quizzes and other crap…your friends know you…it's not for them…new friends don't read that crap…if they want to friend request, add you as 1 on their top 2 thousand friends it's because of the picture or pictures you have displayed…half naked girls ripped guys…This will look good on my page…Tila Tequilla, XXXPlayboy69, NauGHTyGRL22…Don't know if my BFF John is gonna make the list. Maybe in between fake Paris Hilton and Dane Cook. Cause you know me and Dane are really close… Even if he has almost as many friends as Tom…and I'm hurt that I'm not on his tip friends…I know he still cares. Tila has a lot of friends too. I watch her show "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequilla" you know it's the classic story…girl likes boys, girl likes girls, brings them together…wills them to compete for her "bisexual" heart. This show is fun to watch…because where else can you see crying because the contestants are "in love" after a short few days, girl on girl makeout sessions, and a 'lesbian' after one day…get fingered by a DUDE?? "No sweetie I kissed brandi…but it didn't mean anything…just a peck" which is funny because 1) she's not talking about that and 2) that's no where near a peck! A shot at Love, the Bachelor/Bachelorette, dating services are just stupid…go out and mingle you sad pathetic person! Gather some courage and go for it! That's my philosophy.

So at the end of this month I'm checking out Dane Cook's Rough Around the Edges Tour at Key Arena. He hasn't returned an email yet, but we'll def party it up like always…cause that's what best friends forever do. And who might you ask will be by my side (as always) for this fun filled evening? THe best thing that ever happened to me… I talked with her for an entire week before we became the magic you see today. About two months ago we officially moved in together. Although we had been inseparable literally since about a month and a half after we actually started hanging out. I swear I was constantly talking to that girl! OMG! And they say lesbians move TOO fast…Sure proved them wrong! The day we met…it was magical…so romantic…I'll never forget that Myspace message…...