The Journey

              It is amazing how the intensity of your emotions can grip you late at night and keep you awake. It is not just fear alone; it is the fear of the unknown person, and the unknown beast. It is the fear that they lurk around the next corner to knock you down, crush your dreams or even snuff out your mortal flame of life. You toss and turn knowing that you should sleep but you can’t get that dream, that surreal reality of accomplishing what you set out for, from running over and over in your mind like that of an old-style record player. At the very moment you feel yourself slip into a deep sleep you are yanked out. Someone reaches down, grabs, and pulls out of that realm into a dramatic, new path. He barks, “Get Ready.”  With a puzzled look on your face, you squint to see him better because the light that he turned on is blinding you. He tries again in a less condescending voice. “You have to be ready for this; I don’t want anything to happen to you. Dress warm and pack light; it’s a long and cold trip.”
         Everything is dark; you can only see a few inches in front of you. You follow him, not because you want to but because you do not have a choice-you do not know the way back. Every twist and every turn becomes an obstacle for you to overcome. You drop one of your gloves but you do not stop, you are too frightened to be left behind. He walks faster than you do for he knows where he is going and has been there before. He stops occasionally knowing that the path is getting the better of you, takes your hand, and guides you the rest of the way.
         Finally, after what seems like ages he stops. You look up noticing that you are right under a huge evergreen tree, it sways in the bristling cold wind creaking ever so softly as if it were talking to you. You catch yourself lost in the sunrise only to notice that no one is there. You feel alone with no one there to guide you, you suddenly feel small, smaller than the ant that is crawling across your boot. You break down and collapse underneath the evergreen tree, curling into a ball. Rocking back and forth you cannot even remember why you agreed to come in the first place. The forest is thick, a fresh sheet of snow lay on the ground, and the only remnant of life that you can detect is the tracks that you left on your way in.
         Suddenly you hear something, quiet, just the faint crunch of an ever-closer dream that keeps getting louder as it keeps getting closer. You slowly rise to the occasion. As you wait for what seems like forever, that old-style record player kicks back on. You start to daydream of a monstrous buck, one that would make your family proud. As he comes into view, you cannot help to squint because the light from the sun is blinding you in its attempt to mask reality, discreetly trying to tamper with your hopes, your dreams, and your fantasy.
         You can see him now as he walks right in front of you. You almost want to reach out to grab, touch, or even smell him. He is a perfect specimen of a trophy buck, well big enough to please your family and label you a great warrior. Just as gracefully as he came, he leaves. With an awe-inspiring leap, he slowly dissipates away into the distance like a morning fog slowly turning to dew on the leaves and branches of the huge evergreen tree.  Everything you worked for is gone; you stare hoping it will come back to you. You even think you here him coming back but he never comes. You think to yourself, “What am I going to tell everyone? Should I tell them the truth, the truth? The truth that I am not the warrior they thought I was? That I let my dreams slip right through my fingers? Or that I allowed him to run off into the distance for someone else to bag him and take all the glory? NO! I cannot. I will just leave now before anyone finds out.”
         You pick up your belongings and prepare for the long trip back, ready and willing to carve your own path when you trip and fall over one of the protruding roots of the evergreen tree. As you try to stand again your leg gives way as you let out a horrifying scream. You have nowhere to go, no one to help you. You scream out, as if anyone could hear you…..no one can, of course. You continue to scream but still no one shows. You finally give up hope and lay there waiting for the worst. Waiting for that person, that monster, that beast to come and snuff out your eternal flame of life. It is not fear that grips you this time this time you are ready for it, waiting. Something grabs your arm and lifts you up, throws you over its shoulder and proceeds to carry you out of the forest. A sigh of relief comes over you.
“Where did you go? You left me there alone” You say.
“You had to experience it on your own.”
Silence strikes you both; the only thing that makes a sound is the crunching of his boots in the fresh snow.
“I failed you I…I couldn’t do it.”
They both stopped and looked at each other…
“Just because you didn’t get what you wanted doesn’t mean you didn’t gain anything from it.”
As he drags you through the forest, you realize that you can see where you are going this time. You forget about the pain and agony that your leg has caused, as you are engrossed in the beautiful, stunning, and amazing scenery. You fall into a trance of indescribable feeling. Every leaf, branch and root is visible to you now. You wonder how long the trees have been alive. How many changes that they have seen from springtime buds, to dropped leaves? Your thoughts wonder back to a time when you were younger. Back then, you did not care about anything but bettering yourself. If you had to set a brush on fire to impress your friends you did. You stood in horror as your friends laughed to the point of crying. Your body goes limp as you fall deeper into your memories. He lays your unresponsive body on your bed and calls the doctor.
         As you awaken the smell of autumn in the midnight air lingers, you remember how you felt about nature. Your thoughts had totally changed about life. That mourning you had had been nothing but a mere boy. You feel like a man, even though you never got what you set out for. You remember what your father had said as you departed out of the forest. The thought comes over you and you realize what he meant. Becoming a man is not about capturing the dream; it is about the journey, the path that you take to get there.