The Many Wonders of Emily

Everything is just so confusing. Everday is filled with tears and/or pain. This depression seems to gets out of hand. Thoughts of pain, rage, and confusuion go through my head.
Why did he have to leave?
Why is this so hard?
Why is everyone treating me like dirt?
Why did my "best friend" have to try to steal him from me?
Why wont he pick up the damn phone and call me?
Why is it so hard to see his pictures?
When will this frown disappear?
Why do I fail at being happy?
WHY CANT I TURN BACK TIME??????

3 months ago, everything in life was AMAZING. I had a constant smile. I had the guy of my dreams. I was in love. I had the best friend in the world. The only time I was sad is when I wasn't in HIS arms.

Then...the unspeakable happened. Something happened, and it tore us apart.

My best friend is now my enemy.

The caller i.d. no longer said his name, but it said, "IT IS THE END BECAUSE OF THE UNSPEAKABLE"

Rumors started flying.

School was now a death sentence. Everyday was torture. My new enemy was there. It took everything inside me not to tackle her.

Every time I would see HIM I wanted to cry because I knew he wasn't mine.

Betrayal is not an uncommon word in my vocabulary. It seems to pop up too often.

I walk down these lonely streets with my hood on, my head down low, and my hands in my pockets. I do not want anyone to see the tears running down my face. The anger in my eyes. My hands clenching into fists.

Why did all this happen?
Why can't I turn back time so none of this would have happened. The unspeakable would not have happened. She wouldn't have tried to take him from me. He would still be mine.

You said we would never speak again of the "borbidden past."

.....

but you brought it up and its what tore us apart.

If it were up to me, I would still be with you. I would not let the "unspeakable" get in the way. I would never talk about it. I would not remind you of it. Why can't you be with me?

"Baby I'm not all right when you go, I'm not fine. Please be all mine. I never want you to go because I am all yours so please be all mine."
-The Used, Earthquake