Gone...

Gone if I asked you would you lay there with me all night...
I cling on to you, trying to make you stay, but you shake me off as if I never mattered. I fall to the ground watching you leave...
That's when reality hits hard. I never did matter to you. Even though you meant the world to me. How many more tricks can this cruel but wonderful world play on me?
I feel like I am drowning in my own pitiful tears. How could I be so blind? So naive?
I look up as you walk away. You look back, your eyes filled with hatred. Your hatred lightly glides across my wide eyes, my sad eyes.
I feel this weird pounding in my chest. I take a deep breath and a pathetic gasp comes out.
I lay in bed that night. Our past memories dancing around in my head. The lonely nights that you held me. The fun filled days of us fooling around, how could that mean nothing to you...when it meant everything to me?
I feel the cold metal in my hand. The cold metal that could end my life with just one movement.
My hand moves towards my head. My hand, why is it shaking so? Why am I so afraid to end my life when this is what I really want?
His face, eyes, smile...the lips that I loved so. One quick shot and my life disappears. A second of severe pain causes me to open my mouth in attempt to make a noise, scream, anything, but nothing comes out.
My body falls to the floor. Blood surrounding me.
I'm gone. I can see my funeral. You're there...in tears. Are they tears of sadness, or guilt?
I let down my loved ones. Just so I could feel better. I did the most selfish act that a human could possibly do, I took my own life so I could feel better, but I left everyone else in pain.