She Twiddled Her Thumbs A Little

She twiddled her thumbs a little, chewed on her lip, kicked slowly at the air with her tiny little feet. Her hair blew across her face so her eyes were hidden and her head was titled towards the floor so she didn’t have to speak. He was late, he was always late.

She saw him coming towards her from the end of the street, his wide shoulders blocking out the sun and casting a long shadow against the ground. She watched him walk over to her slowly, it seemed to take a long time although it probably took no time at all. He drew closer and she pretended she didn’t see him, head down and still kicking at the air.

He stopped in front of her with his hands in his pockets, ‘Hi.’

She didn’t look up, ‘Hi.’

‘You O.K.?’

‘Yeah. You?’

‘Yeah.’

There was a silence, an uneasy silence that was only disturbed by the occasional sniffs of the wind. Then she looked up, quite suddenly, her soft hair fell behind her face, ‘So this is it?’

He swallowed, nodded, ‘Yeah.’

She looked back to the floor, ‘O.K.’

He paused, unsure, then took a step forward, ‘I’m sorry.’

She nodded, head down, ‘I know.’

There was another silence, longer, more painful. Then she looked up, spoke half to him and half to herself, ‘You know, there was a stage when I thought this was really going to last,’ She paused as if she expected him to answer, her blue eyes searching desperately the man before her, then pausing, realising, accepting. She continued quite abruptly, ‘But that’s silly isn’t it, just silly.’

Her head fell back towards the ground and she played with her thumbs a little more. He swallowed, again, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s O.K.’

‘I didn’t want it to end like this.’

‘Yeah, yeah. I know.’

Another pause, shorter, a deep breath, then, ‘I’m gonna go.’

She looked up, met his eyes, nodded ‘O.K.’

‘I’ll see you soon.’

‘Yeah… O.K. I’ll see you.’

He tried to smile, a broken smile to mask his gloom. But only half of his mouth moved so he gave up. He looked at her, from his position above her head, and for a second he loved her, the way her delicate hands tied knots in her soft yellow hair, the way the loops freed themselves of her fingers and fell free into the air. Then it was gone, in a moment, forgotten. He nodded, turned away, walked back up the street.

She raised her head as she heard him leaving, watched him walk away from her and everything they ever had. His shoulders cast a long shadow along the floor, she loved it when he laughed.

He was gone, faded into the horizon and the busy road at the end of the street. She got up and brushed herself down, walked across the grass and up by the river. It was late in the day and late in the season, the tired sun gave the browning leaves a golden tint, made the water sparkle.