The nest is almost empty

My nest is just about empty and this momma bird is having a hard time with it.  I realized, almost suddenly, as if I had been asleep for twenty years, that the kids finally grow up and go away, and all those long, tough years of raising them, are gone.  I'm not sure that people think about this when they have children.  I know a few new moms right now, and when I say something like "enjoy him now, because before you know it.........." they look at me like I'm speaking another language.  There seems to be no way of getting through to people who haven't experienced the things I have.  Why, oh why, can't people learn through others' experiences?  Why?

I guess because that's not learning.  That's called studying.  And life is not about studying; not the real lessons anyway.  You have to live life to be able to talk about it.  You have to stay up all night with a sick kid, wave goodbye to her when she starts kindergarten, leaves for college or drives away from the house on her first date.  The biggest part of parenthood is the waving goodbye.  While they are young, they wave back.  It's when they don't turn to wave goodbye, well, that's when you know they're getting ready to fly!

A parents job is one of the most confusing.  They say if you do it well your children fly the coop without much fanfare and confusion.  But what happens to ME when they leave.  The very things that defined me for twenty years no longer matter.  Cooking dinner becomes a chore rather than an act of love.  Bath time means me soaking without interruption.  Rushing out the door in the morning has nothing to do with misplaced homework or broken shoe laces, but with the fact that I slept another fifteen minutes.  The house being quiet quite literally means that there is no one there - and they won't be walking in after school!  Most people would tell a mom whose feeling the pain of the empty nest to "get a life," but how do you do that when your life was being a mom.  It's not that easy.  I haven't seen any sales on "Lifes" lately.

So, when I feel like freaking out because I don't know where my children are or who they are with, or I call their cell phones too often and get that "what do you want" response, or better yet, no answer, I have to remind myself of the few reasons why I signed up for this tour of duty.  "Are they happy, are they healthy, do I have a pretty good idea of where they are?"  That's it.  That's all you are left with when you've given the years of endless service.  If you can answer "yes" to each of these questions, then you have done your job well.  Two yesses and you did a pretty darn good job, one yes, and well, maybe you need to rethink your career options.  Afterall, it's never too late to change careers!