Dear Ben,

Dear Ben,


Thought I would write a letter to my favorite Grandson. Your Grandmother and I are doing fine. She was just released from the hospital. Two months without her was great. I finally went into one of those stripper clubs where the whoors get naked and try to give your old grandpa an erection. Never did happen, so she gave me a freebie. It was fun never-the-less.

I hope Grandma goes soon; it’s hard to stay home when I can hear her moaning in her bed for medicine. It’s getting really old.

I guess it’s not all that bad….She does make great Turkey, and I know she won’t disappoint me this year like she did last year; I believe she’s learned her lesson. At least I hope so. It was really hard on me to kick her down the stairs like that.

As for Christmas, you just write your grandpa a list of some things you would like Santa to get you and I’ll pass it on. This is your 3rd Christmas so it should be special.

Love you,

Grandpa