Growing Old

GROWING OLD



I sit quietly on the porch and watch the rainfall around me, snuggled warmly into my down jacket, clinging tightly to my umbrella.

Dark gray clouds lay heavy just above the treetops.
While the wind bends, and dances them with every breeze.

I watch silently as the cold winter day carries on.
Small fairies dressed in sparkling wings, glisten in the morning rain.

They play make believe sword fights with shiny blades of grass
And make spinning tops out of fallen pinecones.

I am mesmerized by the quiet sounds of their giggles and laughter.
And stop to ponder the idea that I may be the only one who hears.

They don’t seem to notice the chill while they swim and splash in the raindrops that have collected on a brown maple leaf on the porch beside me.

With their pale bodies against the silent color of the leaf, they look like small wisps of smoke floating in the mist, like a ghost in the night.

They leap from leaf to leaf among the trees, splashing through each new collected pool of fresh, fallen water droplets.

Clusters of different colored fairies, sparkling like Christmas lights, dance happily to the beat of the falling rain.

A little blonde girl with opalescent wings smiles and beckons me to play.
But I just sit on the porch, and sink deeper into my warm dry space.

I think back to the days when I was like them, splashing happily in the rain.
And dancing in the trees.

What had become of my wings, so majestic and blue, what had become of my magick and ability to fly?

I don’t remember growing older and tossing my wings aside, I just woke up one day and they were gone.

As I wallowed in my self-pity she approached once again, and in a small voice she asked, “Who decides for you, and at what age, must you give up your privilege to play?”

Her words felt like a sharp slap that surged through my body, as my mind slowly calculated what she had said.

We were suddenly stunned by the silence that surrounded us, and looked up to see the last raindrop fall.

A crack in the clouds gave way to a bright ray of sun that streamed from the heavens, and all the fairies stopped their play.

They all cheered the coming of the sun, and were soon on their way.
One by one they left, as the gray sky turned blue.

I knew where they were going, they were off to ride the rainbows, that always came after the rain. I used to love to ride rainbows.

As I walked quietly back into my house, I turned to watch the little girl fly away, she smiled and waved as a tiny tear fell from her cheek. She would be me someday.

I looked around at the dirty dishes in the sink and sighed, then turned to the drawer, pulled out my jacks, sat on the kitchen floor and played