Somedays I wear pain.....

Some days I wear PAIN like that golden necklace you gave me in secrecy that night.
On those days I wear your memories inside my thoughts and they won’t let me go…
those empty memories of staying up late to count the stars,
even though we never got past ten…
The memories of the water gun fight that you let me win,
of when you pushed me into the pool with all of my clothes on.
And those memories of that song you wrote for me,
even though your “buds”
told you it was lame.

“The girl of my dreams, who always made me smile,
even at the slightest daydream”

this line in your song I will never forget,
because every time I play it over in my head.
I see you and tears fill my eyes.
But on the days I wear that pain,
a thick shadow never leaves me,
and follows me around like I’m its prey.
That day you left,
You just LEFT.
You left me stranded with only loneliness,
with no goodbye,
left to drown in my tears.
I walked down that long dirt road that seemed to go on
forever
to our tree
where we had our first kiss,
where we snuck out late one night
and you told me you “loved me”
and I blindly believed you,
because your green eyes told me you weren’t lying.
But you were.
Because then you wouldn’t have left me.
Right?
Some days I wear pain,
Just like your black Volcom sweatshirt,
that is way too big for me and your smell still lingers on it.
On some days I wear pain like that golden heart necklace
that I will never wear
again.