Weight Loss: Are you afraid to succeed?

Most of us are familiar with weight loss failure. We have programmed ourselves to expect it. As a team leader on an active online weight loss community, I see it all the time in posts by newbies who've just joined, or others who started, faltered, and then have come back.. "I hope it works this time". While we express a hope that we are going to succeed, it's almost as though we have resigned ourselves to failure before we even begin.

Why is that? Is it because we can't succeed, or because we're afraid to succeed?

Fear of success is one of those things that doesn't just jump out and bite us on the derriere. I mean, after all, we start a diet and fitness program because we want to succeed...right? Maybe. At least we want to want to succeed, but in reality, success may scare us.

We are creatures of comfort, and, whether we express a liking for the way we are or not, it is more comfortable to stay the way we are than to change. Most of us fear change. That's one of the (many) reasons people stay in bad relationships long after they have come to the conclusion that things are not going to get better. Even as bad as it is, staying in a bad relationship is less scary than change.

Most of the time fear of success is not something we think we have.  It's usually under the surface, lurking there and showing up in the form of procrastination (I'm going to go work out...sooner or later), or self-sabotage (I was craving mashed potatoes..so I ate 3 helpings).

If you find that you are quite familiar with weight loss failure, but not so much with weight loss success, perhaps it's time to think about WHY. Weight loss is not rocket science: it's a matter of eating less and exercising more. It's not a secret: most of us have known those basic principles for a long long time. It's not a matter of societal pressures to be overweight: despite the fact that our society is increasingly overweight, the pressure that media and society puts on us, if anything, is to be thin.

So why do we try, and fail, over and over again to lose weight and keep it off? While there may be many reasons, for many of us, the heart of the matter may be that we are afraid of what it will mean to succeed.

What will it mean for you to succeed at weight loss? What are the side effects of weight loss? If you lose a lot of weight, some possible side effects are: people will notice and will make comments about it, other people will ask you advice about dieting and fitness. If you lose weight you may feel you have to change your life permanently so you can keep the weight off, you may have to buy new clothes, you may become more attractive to others and have more people flirting with and 'hitting on' you, overweight friends may become jealous as they see you becoming thinner, 'skinny' friends may become jealous as you no longer are the 'fat friend' in the group, your family may resist your changes, you may feel stressed about whether you can keep the weight off, you may worry about the loss of certain favorite foods from your diet, you may worry about how it will affect your relationship with your significant other.

All of those fears have a basis in reality, and as a result for many people, those fears that lurk pretty much under the surface are enough to cause them to drag their feet or practice 'self sabotage' in order to keep from having to face those possibiities.

Success requires change. We dont' like to change. In order to overcome those fears, we have to bring them out into the light and examine them and overturn them. Take some time to think about the possible consequences of success: things which may be the down side of succeeding in this journey of weight loss. As you think of them, write them down.  Then think of the positive things which success will bring that counteract those negatives, or how you can deal with that negative in a positive way.

For instance, you might be concerned that some of your friends will become jealous of you and some people might choose to no longer be your friend. Let's be honest..that does happen. For some it's a matter of 'birds of a feather flock together' kind of mentality. Changing your life and losing weight changes not only the food you eat and the exercise you do and how your body looks, it changes your outlook on those things, and on life in general. You may find that not only do some of your friends become jealous, but also that you no longer share the same outlook and attitudes with those friends. On the other hand, losing weight and getting in shape gives you the opportunity to live a longer, fuller, healthier life, and friends who can't allow you to do that and be happy for you are very shallow friends. This change, then, gives you the opportunity to discover new friends who share your outlook and goals.

For each of the things which you can identify as a negative consequence of success, take the time to think about how it can be made into a positive consequence, or used for positive purposes. If you are willing to take the time to identify those fears you have, and determine how you can deal with those, or use them for a positive benefit, you will slowly chip away at those subconscious barriers which cause you to procrastinate and sabotage your efforts. You'll clear the way to REALLY succeed.

Success does mean change, but if you approach it with your eyes open, you can make those changes work for your good, and make the changes much less scary.

You CAN succeed. Do you want to? Are you afraid of success?

That's a question to ask yourself, honestly. The answer will help you shape your plan so that this time won't be another failure, this time you will succeed, and love it.